Totally. I love little things. Personable and individual. Things just for me.
My exwife used to carry the bags home on the bike after grocery shopping, not because she wanted to be a gentleman, but because she didn't want my front tire to wobble and thus possibly get smucked by a car.
She would find me a seat at an event 30 min in not because that's the chiverlrous thing to do, but because she knew 30 min was the time limit of my sore feet in heels.
Probably the most romantic thing she ever did was when I had food poisoning in her sisters bed in the middle of the night. On a brand new super expensive mattress. I knew how freaked out and upset her sister would be. I was in a state. What did she do? She woke up her sister and told her she had done it because she drank too much. Even though she caught the wrath of her sister for three days over it.

That's love. That is romance. Someone taking the shit for you because they can't bare seeing you sick and upset. Fuck flowers and poetry. Cleaning up my puke while I'm crying, lying to your own family and going out to get carpet cleaner to wash the mattress with is stellar romance.

This got me thinking as I don't do any of the usual romantic things like leaving notes, though, once, I had a bunch of flowers delivered to a special friend on her birthday - she lived in another country and I ordered a floral arrangement online of I-don't-know-what flowers they were (they looked pretty).

I agree with what I've read so far about not trying too hard. But I'll open doors for you if you don't beat me to it. And I'll bring a small cooler of ice cold beer when I pick you up from the airport. Save some for me.

Love Romance
 

I am absolutely a romantic. I feel that romance is best when both parties are on the same page. I enjoy being romanced and also I also love to do some romancing.

The fastest way to my heart is to hold my door, gently touch my hand, planning little outings, or numerous other thoughtful, romantic moves. A little creativity will carry you a long ways. :rrose:

I used to think that I was not very romantic. Then I had two long term relationships in a row with people who weren't romantic at all (after getting used to dating people who would be romantic once in a blue moon) and I came to realize that no, actually, I really am and it's something that's important to me in a relationship... After voicing my desires to no avail, in the end those relationships made me feel like I just wasn't worth the effort. I won't ever allow that to happen again.

Maybe it's not very hip to admit to wanting flowers and poetry and the whole nine yards (at least in certain circles), but damn it, I do, and I'm so sick of being made to feel somehow defective, a bad feminist, or hopelessly old fashioned for wanting it (not by anyone here - just generally). For me personally, it used to be something I would deny about myself and try desperately to ignore or downplay (along with most of the traditionally "feminine" aspects of my personality) and now it's something I embrace after years of struggling with it.

Some of the stuff we derisively peg as romantic or Hallmark-y, I think it's because it's just really overdone or it's because it's done insincerely or indiscriminately. I don't think that there is anything inherently cheesy or impersonal about flowers, poetry, or any of the things we sometimes roll our eyes at. I think the key is the intent, sincerity of the persons involved, and communication. If you bring me red roses on a date because that's "just something you do" as opposed to putting thought into it and finding out what I actually like (or if I like them at all), then yeah, kinda formulaic, though I would still find it sweet and appreciate the effort (and also the novelty of it as it would be a first for me). If, however, you make the effort to discover that I like white roses, lilacs, and pink carnations (don't judge me :p) and whip out one of those, to me that is super romantic. Likewise, if I invite you over for a home cooked meal and some snuggling while we watch a movie, it could be considered formulaic and impersonal if I just put something together like pasta or lasagna, light a few candles, and have a random recent release ready for you. Instead, maybe you prefer Indian food and would appreciate a dish of roghan josh, incense over candles, and maybe you have a thing for retro kung-fu movies or really obscure and slightly depressing French films. :p I think most anything can be romantic, even the things that seem overplayed at first glance, if done right.

Romance is also important for me to just keep the relationship alive and sparking and so that I don't end up feeling like I have a glorified roommate who I also sleep with when the mood strikes.

I want to be with someone who wants to lay out on the grass in a field and look at the stars.
I want to be with someone who enjoys reading poetry/prose/whatever out loud to each other while snuggled up in bed.
I want to be with someone who thinks little love notes and surprises "just because" are sweet and not corny.
I want to be with someone who understands the importance of physical affection outside of the bedroom and the sweetness of an unexpectedly gentle touch.
I want to be swept off my feet just once so I can know what it feels like.
I want to be with someone who is comfortable with both receiving and giving romantic gestures and who understands it doesn't diminish them or their masculinity in any way to be "caught" doing so.
Basically, I want someone who speaks the same "language" and understands that in a relationship this stuff is the good stuff. :) :heartbeat:

This is one of my most favourite threads on BFP. I love reading how others perceive and welcome romance into their relationships. It's such a special effort that means so much and lingers forever. I remember each and every romantic notion ever showered upon me.

That birthday you played Happy Birthday on your harmonica to me naked.
The midnight picnic in an empty field under the stars as well as all of the floor picnics in your apt.
When you learned to play Imagine on your keyboard because you knew I loved it.
The love letters mailed to me when you lived in the same city & all the creative romance they said to me [including the sexy drawings!].
Writing me poetry.
All of the hours you worked to buy me that puppy.
Serenading me on my balcony, with your guitar from the lawn.
Kissing me in the parking lot in the rain.
Taking my photo with you so faraway after we had just met.
Getting into the bath with me in your clothes.
Handmade gifts from your heart, working overtime to earn the money to come see me, going through all kinds of drama & hell to come see me, and the poetry. All of the poetry.
When you dug up an entire rose bush & left it on my door.
When you left a candy bar & greeting card on my car windshield.
When you walked on the streetside of the sidewalk to protect me.

These are just a few of the things that have sent my heart and head into a spinning whirlwind of romance over the years and in those alone moments when I feel a little 'less than' - I remember them and remember when I was 'more than'. Mhmm, romance is very important and that one gesture, that one handpicked wildflower, that one mix tape will mean more and linger longer than you can ever imagine. Do it.

Love.

:shocking:

Holy shit. That's super romantic (and maybe a bit illegal depending on where the bush originally came from, hahaha). What a great twist on a traditional idea. Love it! What a lucky lady! :awww: :heartbeat:

It was a very long time ago & yeah, I opened the door to go to work and saw this ginormous rose bush, roots and all LoL just leaning on my doorstep! I laughed out loud and my heart jumped like mad crazy. It was super romantic and precious. Yep, I have to say I've been very lucky in having so much romance in my life. And I don't take one memory, one moment for granted - they were all so special to me.

I'm a back-rubbing, massaging all over her body, kind of romantic.

I am a take a shower with her, wash her hair, wash her back and her other important parts kind of romantic.

I'm a take off the mattress pad and wash and dry it and the sheets and remake the bed, leaving a romantic card propped up against her pillow; kind of romantic.

I'm a sexy negligee-wearing femme, because it is a turn-on for her and it also feels romantic to me.

She will be home in two days from her trip...she has not yet seen the raspberry-pink baby doll nighty that I will be wearing to greet her at the door.

Is it hot in here or is it just me?

I was feeling down, so Kasey took me and our dessert to the patio, put on some dreamy music, and danced with me in the moonlight.

Sighhhhhhh

there is absolutely NOTHING
about wanting a mate who will make
you swoon and feel romanced that could ever
possibly make you a bad feminist.
I solemnly promise.
*crosses my heart*


oh, and I'm a will-make-sure-to-grab-
you-choclate-before-you-even-
think-to-ask kind of romantic ;)

How romantic am I?

Very with the right woman. ;)

I never knew I was very romantic till my last relationship,when I fell head over heals in love,I sent flowers from Sydney to the States,A ticket to Australia,we danced to Etta James "at last"on the steps of the opera house,the happiest moment in my life was seeing here at the airport for the first time,and her beauty took my breathe away,I recorded songs for her,and for the first time,I gave my heart to her.

I love when someone bumps this thread and it's active again. It's one of my favourites on BFP.

So as anyone and everyone who knows me, knows how incredibly stupid romantic I am but I find as I age, romance becomes less and less a part of my life and I'm really not okay with that. I'm actually very sad about that. And I wonder if it has something to do with aging and that we get jaded with our years of romantic experience and just don't have the energy for the effort anymore or.... if it's me and I don't inspire that kind of romance anymore. Either of those answers are unacceptable to me. When I look at my post to this thread above^ a few ago, I wonder even moreso if those moments and gestures are gone forever now. With all my heart and soul, I hope not.

I dont know if its age,for me I was 53 and felt like I was 16,of course I'm only talking about myself,and really,that's what I'm looking for again,if lightening can strike twice,I don't want to settle,I cant believe I sent her books of poetry,:)I was never romantic before,so maybe it takes the right chemistry,I dont really know..................But it sure felt amazing.

I give flowers,back/neck//hand/feet rubs..rubs,all kinds are good.Cooking for her..although eating out is better.Taking her out in the woods and..well.I won't get too mushy.

Miss you,baby :popcorn:

That's what I'm talking about!

I can be pretty mushy.. Love long walks by the water, surprise picnics, cooking for my partner, slow dancing just because, little texts throughout the day to let them know they are on my mind. Just some of that...

The lipstick kisses I left on the bathroom mirror and on the refrigerator door, months ago....are still there.

I like the idea of romance but I don't subscribe to motions of romantic endeavors most people consider romantic.

And I guess I will leave it at that for now because I keep things of that nature fairly private, nowadays.

But I do enjoy romance, I really do. : )

Lol no romantic bone in my body.

Really?

Aren't you the one who suggested dancing in the living room with your honey even if you can't dance (see the "What TO DO in a relationship" thread)?

Methinks there's a romantic bone or two in you, JD.

I am very affectionate, extremely solicitous, very tactile and loving...but the gifts and candlelight dinners with lots of meaningful stares and frought silences kind of romance just puts me on edge. Soooo uncomfortable for me. I'll actually take a passionate debate over that kind of romance any day. lol

I'd say I'm fairly romantic:bunchflowers:

Might be one but I think that's about it lol

J Deere
I was totally like that too,I was in a band in the 80's and flatly refused to do love songs,only political songs,the last relationship I used to joke that she had put a spell on me,coz I used to find that stuff BS.In my 30's I never celebrated valentines day,I used to say it was a capitalist plot,to get ppl,to spend $,they cant afford,on stuff that is double the price,on that day.

Guess who sent 2 doz red roses on a recent VD ????????

sheepishly putting my hand up.:)

I have like one bone in my body that does the romance stuff and that bone isn't working lately LOL.

Depends on what you think romance is....

If dancing is romantic, guilty

If sitting on the beach and talking is romantic.... guilty

If if is the fact that I love romantic proposals.... guilty again

I think that is as far as it goes with me and typical romance.

I don't like receiving flowers (unless from my kids for a mother's day, etc) or if they are hand picked - why waste money on something that is going to die?

What is romance? I think that something I would find romantic just might be something another would not find romantic.

For the most part, I like the simple things..... oh, plus gold and diamonds, I like gold and diamonds too.

To me romance is about discovering those thing, both big and small that make your lover feel cherished and loved, and then doing them. What feels romantic to one person could feel like a complete bore to the next person, so taking the time and making the effort to truly get to know what romance means to your lover/partner is romantic in itself.

I am not fussy about romantic gestures. If they come genuinely from the heart then I will love and appreciate them, whether they are more traditional or unconventional or unique things. My girl is an over the top romantic, so I get all kinds, all the time. I am very lucky. I also consider myself to be romantic and like expressing it in various ways, some of which are traditional and some of which come from my quirky self, but most of all what I think will resonate with her heart.

I agree Jesse,I remember reading her revolutionary poetry,by El Salvadorian poet Roque Dalton,definitely not everyone's cup of tea.LOL

I don't really know what romantic means but if you call bringing flowers, doing little things, etc, then yeah I am guilty. But I am a 2x4 trans guy so I gotta be told LOL.

Romance works both ways.I like it when she helps me put on my tie and gives me a long kiss.Telling me she loves me and to be safe.Standing behind me in the bathroom,both of us looking into the mirror as she combs my hair back and kisses my neck..sometimes she'll pull my hair back and bite my neck.I love long hugs and surprise dinners.Making out in the backseat of a car.Getting flowers is nice..mushy,blah..moving on.

Okay so I bought my girl a single pink rose, a card and candy she likes. She said that I was becoming more romantic. I just think it's cuz she puts up with me.

I guess it would depend on what the person I am dating at the time felt was romantic. To me thinking of you and while I am out picking up some little thing I know you either like or something I see reminds me of you so I get it for them. to me the little thoughtful things I feel I do naturally are being romantic. but I doubt all women would think that ,like some may be the type that like the grand gestures periodically, maybe they think is romantic. I feel it's all in one's perception.

also a card in the mail to say hey I am thinking of you, for them to get out of the blue yeah that is being romantic

I tend to be overly practical. I clean the house, fix the faucet, make you a five course dinner and rock your body with things like drinking wine off your skin and letting you completely sit this one out (so to speak).

But......I have a very hard time talking about my feelings or being gushy and vulnerable. I should be butch, but I'm definately femme lol!

This last part made me laugh so hard! Love it ^_^

Romance, to me, is the small things. Coming home to discover my spouse did all the dishes. Or a phone call halfway through my day when I've casually mentioned that I'm having a hard day. Surprising me with my favorite foods. Snuggling with me at night. It really is the little things.

Romance goes both ways. You scratch my back, I'll scratch yours. :tea:

VERY!!! :)
 

Absolutely romantic in the same way. Not fond of grand gestures, I find them embarrassing in a bad way and unpleasant. I throw up from stage fright so attracting a ton of attention is hideous to me.

I think it's romantic when someone makes me a cup of tea, fixes my bike, buys me a book I really want, takes me to see a lecture I've wanted to see, teases me /takes the piss, calls me semi-insulting terms of endearment, picks out shoes they'd like me to wear, ogles my boobs in the restaurant or park or supermarket, surprises me with a road trip to some place science geeky. Or surprises me with something very dark and pervy.

Flowers to me just mean "I've done something shitty and I'm trying to butter you up" and they just no longer have a pleasant link for me.

Like people doing things for me because they *know* me and know what I'd like. Not because "butches do _____ for femmes." Because it means they aren't paying attention to who I am, just my gender, and frankly it feels like I'm a number in a well trodden formula and I could be any femme, cause they did it for them too.

I prefer to tailor my romantic moves to the individual. My exwife loved me baking her favourite bread, picking her flowers and reading her to sleep. Another ex liked me wearing clothes she'd pick out for me, washing her hair and making roast lamb.

I'd prefer to do what others like. But I'm not good with words or being emotionally expressive. I'm good with humour and teasing endearments.