Knock me silly
 

After I was done cussin' from cracking my head on the metal bar to the low chain link gate, I had to laugh. I knew the damn thing was there, but I sure did a bad job of clearing it.

At 9:05am the power came back on after being out since 2:30am. The house temp is 42°, everyone is cuddled under several layers of blankets including the dogs.

After going out to the shed, freezing my ass off, at 8am to get the camp toilet, I went back to bed, curled up tight trying to get my feet and ass cheeks to thaw, thinking "it's going to take forever to warm back up" when suddenly the power kicks on and the TV starts itself then up pops a message on the blue screen "This may take a while."

:blink: :blink:

I may start believing in messages from the Other Side. :vigil: :vigil:

My knucklehead, goofball best friend and his response to tasting soft tofu for the first time. It didn't help me that we were in a very small, semi-fancy restaurant and I had to contain my laughter while his facial expressions were like a three year old who was trying not to barf.

Watching the Worst Cooks In America where they are trying to fillet a fish.

I saw this elderly man in the gym today and I was like "awwww." Turns out he can bench more than I can.

I need to step up my game...

Bulldog In The House Ha Ha
 

Cracked me up
 

Today I was pumping fuel at a local independent gas station. They are known for selling fuel cheaper than what is posted on their sign. We call it the yellow store because it is painted yellow.

While pumping fuel I noticed a sign that said "No Kung Fu fighting at the pumps by Manager". Haha!

I have had that song in my head ever since.

:cowboy:

Oh that is so mean!

Everybody was Kung foo fighting.......

Ooh Kelly Clarkston!
 

That moment when you realize that your sexy but sadistic depilatory scene just went live on Instagram... yeah, that just happened :|

someone at work who is smart as a whip, says she saw the moon but it didn’t look “blue”.

When i explained that its called a blue moon because there are two mooos in January, she then said

“i only saw one, where was the other one?”

:rofl: :|

How the massive, spring loaded lid on my neighbor's pig smoker got the best of me when I was trying to stash some goodies in there until they got home.

I am beyond amused. :jester:

I just read that as “trying to stash some bodies in there.” That cracked me up, though maybe it shouldn’t have...

Bacon Wrapped Pork Tenderloin smothered in apple gravy...
 

If I hadn't cracked up, I woulda cried at my Air Fryer Fail.
Thankful for an old fashioned skillet to the rescue.
I wish I could post pics.

My very petite and dainty best girlfriend is in the tub and just cut a monstrous fart and then yelled:

"ANGIE!!!! YOUR DOG KEEPS FARTING IN THE BATHTUB AND BLAMING IT ONE ME!"

me telling my love that i am watching a musical and enjoying the hell out of it!

:clap:

Last night, my 24 year old son showing me that he learned all about rice's dirty little secret. He said that it didn't look like that much when it was in the measuring cup before he cooked it. Now he is bemoaning the fact that he will be eating yellow rice for a long time. I told him many of us learn the same way.

From a book I'm reading (Stripping the Sub):

"I don't fart! I'm a lady! I whisper in my panties."

My cheeks hurt, my sides hurt, tears ran down my face, and gawd knows I needed the laugh tonight.

Overheard:

"You know I'm wrapped around your finger because I lick your butthole anytime you want..."


:|:|:|

:superfunny:

'Nailed It' on Netflix.

My pup enjoying her first snow...jumping around with her tongue sticking out trying to catch snow flakes or trying to lick at it like it was a bowl of ice cream.

How my old boy pup still loves playing in the snow, came in covered and remembered his "shake it off" command and how he cleans the snowballs off his belly by dragging himself over the newly cleaned carpet. He looked so happy.

I brought my snow boots for this trip but forgot my heavy coat and gloves.

My best friend reciting to me the mess he made of his dinner. "Wait, I'm not done yet...there's more!"

He never fails to do something that cracks me up.

Memories....lots of fun memories while reading my old posts (in my archived pages 111-115).
Ohhh the crazy, free-style fun we all had. I love it. It's great cracking up at old memories and awesome friends.

Chunky Monkey cracked me up. He's become more aware of things and cutting teeth and crawling and into everything. Today Daddy picked him up and he cried. We told him to take his sunglasses off. That didn't work. Moma took him and he cried. I took him and as long as the Elf played with him he was quiet. Then he'd cry finally his Mom took him and he hushed. I think he is just spoiled rotten, just like the Elf was.

My bestie cracked me up today

While riding down the road I say I'm going to pull into the store and you get us a drink. She says what do you want I said surprise me just bring me something different not the regular old stuff. She's gone for a while goes back to the truck with a peach tea in a can and hands it to me. I think she could tell I was disgusted and offered to take it back. I said no I'll drink it just get in she said no I'll take it back what do you want I said it doesn't matter.

When she came back she had me a lemonade which is great. We began riding down the road I said you know I thought you knew me better than most anybody else but today you disappointed me. She's said what did I do. I said number one when have you ever seen me drink a flavored tea? You have never seen me drink a flavored tea. Secondly have you ever seen me drink out of a can I don't drink out of cans. She said what's wrong with drinking out of a can? I said I can't see what's inside of it. Then she said oh my God I did not realize you were that OCD that you have to see what is inside the can. Mind you we were both laughing at the end of each one of these sentences. We do crack each other up I swear we do

Knucklehead, it was Georgia Peach, you said "surprise me, not the regular stuff"...but the look on your face was priceless. I still don't get how I disappointed you by following directions.

My crazy funny, goofball bestie cracked me up when I heard him yell in pain as he was letting the dogs out... (I was in the kitchen and thought he had hurt his knee again)...and then he yelled "GET OFF ME!" ..."THAT'A BOY! YOU TELL' EM!"... three seconds later, he ran into the kitchen with the wildest look in his eyes I've ever seen...in a very excited, half laughing voice he hollers out "that cat CLIMBED MY ASS like I was a tree! Then he tried picking on Skippy, but that no-tooth lil Skip turned on him (Blade tried to mimic Skippy's funny Chihuahua snap-n-growl). I told Skippy 'get'em!', that fucker left claw marks in my ass!!! See?? (That's when he turned around, dropped his drawers to show his ass cheek and said) "can't you see the marks?"

By then, I'm ROLLING in laughter and told him "no, I don't see anything except your ass".... he blurts out "You can't see that? I sure feel damn claw marks! He tore my ass up!"

Omg! Never a dull day in this house!

Blade's adult niece thinking pickles came from a pickle plant. :seeingstars: :seeingstars:

And Blade telling me about his coworker's 10 yr old grandson, who was very proud of himself for making dinner, made hamburgers in a waffle iron.

Toooooo damn cute and funny

I cannot tell you how many nights JD and I have cackled about "titties" spelled "t-i-d-d-i-e-s".

Yes, there's a story and no, I'm not telling. :pirate-steer:

Shy: I'm an awful person. My bird just said "I hate you." Ugh. I switched it to "I love you baby."

:rofl:

Blade LOVES to make people laugh
 

You had to be there!
Just the look on my sister's face would crack you up...
We were having lunch time conversation when Blade asked a question about what kinda meat are authentic Gyros made from and why did my sister not like coconut?
(Annie loves Gyros but hates coconut) ...
Very quickly, he followed it with "don't you like your Lamb in your coconut?"
Annie got the goofiest look on her face like she was studying about that music quote but couldn't quite get it or remember the rest of the chorus.... She was thinking HARD until we all started cracking up and told her "it's LIME in your coconut!"

She's soooo smart yet sometimes soooo dense...
But she thought so hard about it because Blade's southern accent is so thick, she couldn't tell if he was saying Lamb or Lime... (Annie is a linguist with several degrees and speaks several languages but struggles to "hear" Blade)

My pretty, longhair Himalayan cat made herself very happy and comfortable in the 10 gallon turtle aquarium that was laying on its side on the porch. She looked so content and proud of herself.

using Mel’s toothbrush.... :blush:

As an FYI "titties" are "diddies" in Ireland.

I would say that this is one of my favourite words and makes me snort but that would be infantile :|