Lake Como - Nesso, Italy
 

I guess there's not enough glory or publicity in offering a Billion dollar prize to someone who cures a particular cancer by 2020.


"Warren Buffett’s Berkshire Hathaway Inc. (BRK/A) is backing a $1 billion prize offered by Quicken Loans Inc. if a contestant predicts the winner of each game in the National Collegiate Athletic Association’s men’s basketball tournament.

The prize will be paid in 40 annual installments of $25 million and split among multiple winners if there is more than one perfect entrant, the Detroit-based lender said today in a statement distributed by PR Newswire. The winner also has the option of a single payment of $500 million.

Berkshire has specialized in unusual insurance risks for decades, protecting clients against big losses in return for premium payments. The Omaha, Nebraska-based company won a bet in 2010 on the World Cup after France was eliminated from the tournament in South Africa. Berkshire has previously guaranteed against the potential payout of $1 billion in a contest sponsored by PepsiCo Inc.

“We’ve seen a lot of contests offering a million dollars for putting together a good bracket, which got us thinking, what is the perfect bracket worth?” Quicken Loans Chief Marketing Officer Jay Farner said in the statement. “We decided a billion dollars seems right for such an impressive feat.”

The 68-team team tournament begins in March. Submissions will be limited to one per household and capped at 10 million entrants, according to the statement. "

Can I get an Amen?!!!!

I'm waiting!

No, but there might be plenty of glory and publicity and money in enabling infertile women to bear children. A couple guys won the Nobel prize for that a few years ago. A Nobel Prize. For enabling (the very, very few) people who can afford it, to have a biological child thanks to extraordinary and expensive medical measures—when there are hundreds of millions of abandoned and orphaned children around the world needing homes.

Yay! I found my car!
 

A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted a woman below. He descended a bit more and shouted, "Excuse me, can you help? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."

The woman below replied, "You are in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You are between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude."
"You must be an engineer," said the balloonist.
"I am," replied the woman, "How did you know?"
"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is, technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I am still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help so far."
The woman below responded, "You must be in Management."
"I am," replied the balloonist. "But how did you know?"

"Well," said the woman, "you don't know where you are or where you are going. You have risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise which you have no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow it's my fault!”

Allow me to offer up a neat Latin phrase that some folks may find useful at times throughout their working day "Qui dederit cacas."

Morning cuteness...
 

this made me spew coffee
 

holy moly...
 

I think I may have been the chicken minding it's own business while trying to cross the road. :jester:

Sorry for a long one, but these are brilliat
 

HOW MANY MALE NOVELISTS

Q: How many male novelists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: The terrible sex had made him feel deeply interesting, like a murder victim.

Q: How many male novelists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: The beast, which had represented his feelings, was dead. “I think I’ll do a pushup,” he announced to the sea. The sea respected him for it.

Q: How many male novelists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: [4000 words from the narrator about his feelings on his childhood circumcision]

Q: How many male novelists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: War is hell.

Q: How many male novelists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: He straightened his tie. He had lost, but in a romantic way, which meant that he had won. “I’m going to do a pushup,” he announced to his tie. His tie respected him for it, and secretly wished that it could have sex with him.

Q: How many male novelists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: You wouldn’t understand.

Q: How many male novelists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: He swore curses at his coworkers. He was making a lot of money. Fuck.

Q: How many male novelists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: This neighborhood in New York City was very different from the other neighborhood in New York City he’d just been in.

Q: How many male novelists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: He lit a cigarette. His glass of whiskey lit a cigarette too. “I can only truly love my best friend,” he said, “but not in a gay way. Women wouldn’t understand it. They’re too gay.” Both of the cigarettes agreed.

Q: How many male novelists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: [4000 words about an isolated encounter with a service worker that borders on racist and goes nowhere]

Q: How many male novelists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: “The cocaine isn’t the point. The cocaine is a metaphor,” he explained wearily over the pile of cocaine. She folded her arms. She didn’t understand his cocaine. “Didn’t you read my manifesto?” The prostitute had read his manifesto. Why couldn’t she?

Q: How many male novelists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: This lightbulb is inauthentic.

Q: How many male novelists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: ”It’s only the institution I have a problem with,” he explained to the empty bar.

Q: How many male novelists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: The time had come for him to go to war, and also find himself, and also reject the rules of your society.

Q: How many male novelists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: His alcoholism was different, because someday he was going to die.

Q: How many male novelists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: [Nothing happens for 450 pages; receives fourteen awards]

Q: How many male novelists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: "You have so much to learn," he told her. She was only 19, but she was the best student in his undergraduate short story class who was also female and classically beautiful. "I will teach you, and also have sex with you. You can walk around wearing only my tweed jacket after, but only for 20 minutes. You're not ready to wear it for longer."
"Is that the jacket with the elbow patches?" she murmured, her full lips plump as an overripe cherry, already tainted with corruption at the pit.
"No," he said harshly, "it has double elbow patches." He turned to face the window. "I knew you wouldn't understand."

This one had me scratching my head
 

lol