Where I want to move to in PA. Close by hopefully.

Mind? I've lost mine!!! I want it back!!!


:blink:

a conversation Sat..
my stomache hurts

My backbone seemed to have misplaced and whoever finds it if you could kindly return it to me I will be very appreciative. The pain I am feeling is also on my mind.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3RLJw...yer_embedded#!

You got the wrong score card sweetheart...you are not the ONLY judge. HUGS
And that is not how everyone else sees you...HUGS
"Tell Yourself"

I know what you tell yourself, you tell yourself.
Look in the mirror, look in the mirror what does it show?
I hear you counting
I know you're adding. adding up the score.
I know, oh yes I know what you tell yourself,
Tell yourself.

Ever since Eden we're built for pleasing everyone knows
And ever since Adam cracked his ribs and let us go
I know, oh yes I know what you tell yourself
Tell yourself

Who taught you how to lie so well
And to believe in each and every word you say?
Who told you that nothing about you is alright
It's just no use, it's just no good you'll never be O.K.?

Well I know, I know that wrong's been done to you
"It's such a tough world," that's what you say
Well I know, I know it's easier said than done
But that's enough girl, give it away,
Give it, give it all away

Tell yourself that you're not pretty
Look at you, you're beautiful.
Tell yourself that no one sees
Plain Jane invisible me, just tell yourself

Tell yourself you'll never be
Like the anorexic beauties in the magazines
Just a bargain basement Barbie Doll
No belle du jour, no femme fatale
Just tell yourself

Tell yourself there's nothing worse
Than the pain inside and the way it hurts
But tell yourself it's nothing new
Cause everybody feels it too
They feel it too ...sometimes

And there's just no getting 'round
The fact that you're thirteen HUMAN right now

However, your score card is...
the most important one...
the only one that matters...
so....baby your a firework
so....tell yourself the truth of
what you are really worth.
Give that Gift To Yourself Please

http://video.search.yahoo.com/video/...IREWORK+LYRICS

Still baffled with the maintainance guy at the shelter for locking away the large 50 gallon garbage bags. He's out for the remainder of the week due to medical procedures that he had to have yesterday and the place is in an uproar over the lack of garbage bags. I mean really... You do not have a monopoly on the damn things!! Well, actually he did but staff had to run out and buy an extra box because the bulk amounts of bags are MIA. He does the same thing with the freakin' toilet paper and paper towel dispenser rolls... Not cool buddy... We will be having a talk when you return.

Ummm not by my choice but other staff figured out that when I ask for things to happen around the place it happens immediately!!

With the holidays approaching and after a day spent in the hospital family is on my mind. I have always been family oriented. I was always taught family came first and as the eldest that was how I lived my 45 years. I came back to my home town in Feb of this year and see my bio-family only when they choose, want something from me, or need something from me that only I can provide. Oh let's not forget to get in my face about my sexuality. Yet I still hold out hope that it will change. That it will at least go back to the way it was when my grandmother was alive and we had holiday family dinners together. Instead of spending them alone. My grandmother had 12 children and each of those had at least 5 adn each of those at least 5 we are in our 7th generation here so I have a very large extended family here that supposedly believes in family first blood first yet I know I will be spending the upcoming holidays alone or with strangers. Okay done with my humbug thoughts.

my girl and how awesome and sweet she is. :)

how i woke up with a smile this morning after a quick ride into mexico.. the weather wasnt the best the wind was crazy. it wore my azz out an felt great. slept better then i have in weeks!

Short rant
 

Any volunteers to drag me kicking and screaming to my eye app't today?? I don't wannaaaaaaa gooooooooooo:watereyes::hiding:

I took my oldest (18 going on 19 in Dec) to cash her check....and brought her to her BFs....she turned back to me as she walked up to the door...because I wait till she gets there....like I always have...and probably always will...she smiled at me...and I saw a glimpse of her as the little girl she used to be....and it made me wonder...where did the years go?? It seems like only yesterday she fit in my arms...my hand could hold her little feet...and now she works....and is thinking about buying a house with her boyfriend....it's so beyond me.....

The hard conversations. The results of them. The emotions caused by them.

What's on my mind...

Another busy work weekend ahead. This night is on the downslide... coffee pot is preset, lunch is premade and I am prerelaxed. Errr ummmm, scratch that... I'm chillin' with last night's Survivor on cbs.com.

Missin' my girl wicked bad and looking forward to seeing her in two weeks. I really dislike rushing through my days for something in the future but.... but, I just want to be in her presence, in her space. I want to be home with her...

This body pain sucks...it's one of those sunday mornings...still groggy and need more coffee. I would much rather be in bed with her crawling on top of me or vice versa...kisses and snuggles and taking care of my hard cock cause it is her job. I miss that sunday morning...stop the world, in bed, for each other time.
There were other things on my mind. Not anymore. ...And the day is overcast and a warm front
has moved in. No excuses to not get out there and pickup some leaves and other work. No more day dreaming.

do I help my daughter in her quest or do I let her achieve it on her own.......
I want her to be happy and live her life......
If I do help am I helping cause it is the right thing to do or I can see her fall
:deepthoughts::watereyes::wallbreak:

Damn 009 distributor and timing the damn thing with just a tachometer and an ear and angles...be nice to have a timing light and a tach...it's all good though..i am such a perfectionist and a stickler to detail and correctness that it isn't really a good thing to be so much of a perfectionist to a fault. At least i have learned this and to live and let live and give it to God and to chill the f*** out and to learn that i am not in control...ew..blah...yuck

as I stood looking at the view as the sun comes up it hits me that this is one of the last times I will see it

over the years I have come and gone I have always returned to look out and take in the morning view

It hits me ....I will be sad
for me I am headed to a place I never dared to dream
for my daughter it is a loss of years building a life ..... she plans to stay and build another
she will always have a home with me as I have more than one dwelling
I want her to be happy and fly

The view holds more than anyone could ever know.....
for her I can not speak as I could only guess what the vew holds for her

I go into the future I tread lightly as the future unfolds