Feeling
 

I feel better now that I am home and facing a 4 day weekend. I need the rest.

Somewhat shitty...but a hopeful shitty. :)

I'm feeling like a part of my heart is gone. We buried Brandy Rebecca today and I have not stopped crying yet. Thank you to everyone for their kind words! It means a lot to me.

A feeling of accomplishment today
And I'm feeling full, about ate to much

I am so sorry friend.

I feel a little giddy...

Feeling
 

I really hope that I am having an allergy attack and did not catch a cold from my coworker.

Good and will be even better if I can get my chores done by 10am.

Energetic... And going to go do something about it. :byebye:

When somebody told me I lived in the fantasy land I nearly fell of my unicorn! lol ;)

Hopeful - I'm making good progress on my final paper
Excited - 5 more weeks til World Series of Poker trip to Vegas!
Anxious - 1 more week until I start my new job, and take on the task of studying for 3 licenses, on top of my regular school work! Eeeeek!

Today has been a great day...am feeling very content.

I just want to cry....... There's a 5 years old inside me.... a 5 year old holding a gun... hidden in the pantry watching through the key hole.... listening for the approaching horror.... waiting on the edge of the utter hell that is about to swallow us all....a 5 year old that grew up over night and became an adult, a fighter, a thinker, an overachieve, an impossible you say - let me prove you wrong- free rock climber of life without safety ropes....

I haven't cried for ages, decades at the time... I was trained well... push it down, shut it off, run, run for your life... don't let them get you....RUN, don't let them touch you... Run, run, run, run, save yourself, run... and don't look back.... for g-d sake don't look back.... hold them, comfort them, burry them, get up... shake it off...run...run, run, run, until you're safe....

Is there such thing as a safe place under the skies of this universe?

Once a refugee, always a refugee. Is that how this shit works?

I am not sure I know how to do this anymore.... Will it ever get better... will the wounds ever stop bleeding... will I ever have a shot at being blessed with ignorance of "normal" life?

What is normal after all, who knows? I have numbed my soul, shut off my heart, all that's left to do is to rip the bitch the fuck out and destroy any last particles of it once and for all destroy it all for good.

When the first war happened my father said, "remember the only thing they can never take away from you is what you got in your head and in your heart"..... What is I simply no longer what what's in my heart??? What is I no longer want to feel anything that humans feel? What is I just want IT to STOP?

Is there a way to keep breathing beyond this point?

a little like a top... spinning fast...

Feeling
 

I feel sick with an achy body, stuffed up, coughing, and sore throat. I ate breakfast and now I am having hot tea.

Yuck!

:cough:

Pretty pissed off...

I really hate working first shift. The aides are all trifling bitches. And I saw one yesterday making a coughing man take a drink of water. And heard the kitchen staff being short with one of my favorite ladies. People seriously don't want to test me. I'm in no fucking mood.

Fantastic! Today was my first day on the new job and I love it! I can’t believe I am getting paid, to do this! I am so lucky! :)

It has been a relaxing and fun weekend, so I can't complain. :)

Feeling pretty good and I am now looking forward to the new position that goes with my promotion

Feeling
 

The sickness has moved into my lungs. My friend reminded me to take emergen-C and luckily I had two packages in the cuboard. I am drinking hot tea and waiting to feel better.

:cough:

...lazy...*shrugs :byebye:

Feeling wonderful. I spent the weekend with my love.

I'm feeling heat-exhausted which isn't exactly a common feeling for a Canadian.

Exhausted. Almost time to go make a bed with fresh sheets and crawl in...another busy day tomorrow as I have to make mom a doc appt, take Grace to the groomer, go to physical therapy and take mom to the hospital to visit dad. Hopefully, he will be home on Wednesday. They found MRSA as a result of his cath and have been trying to get him back on his feet since last Tuesday. I know he is ready to be home too.

I had a uterine ablation today, so I'm in a bit of pain but staying on top of it for the most part (at first it was pretty brutal!). Ordering in pizza helped!

I feel amazing today! Productive, confident, beautiful!!! It was a much needed day of good things.

...full of desire for...
...ice cream...
but I will not fall into temptation...
:sunglass:

Bittersweet.

Went home to be with family and celebrating my daughter's baby shower this weekend was incredible. I'm such a proud Gramma!

Then I have to come home 4 hours away and leave everyone there. My granddaughter is almost 3 and keeps my heart smiling but I miss her horribly all the time.

Looking forward to more beautiful times...God is so good and I'm so very blessed...I will not complain anymore.

That's how I'm feeling.

Good. Back at work after a few days off. Finished 99% of my spring cleaning and can exhale. Didn't drive the freeway this weekend because it was raining both mornings and I sorta missed driving.

Not to bad. Got in and out of the shower by my self this morning for the first time since May 6th. Was able to stand up the whole time I was in there as well. Buddy was I ready to sit down when I got out though.

Feeling
 

I am still sick. I am going to see the doctor tomorrow.

Feel better soon!!

Feeling
 

sad tonight. One of our Blue Angel jets crashed today killing young pilot, Captain Jeff Kuss. I live in the area known as the "Cradle of Naval Aviation." He was married with 2 small children. The Blue Angels are an elite group of Navy and Marine Corp pilots that perform tedious and precise flight formations. Our community will mourn Capt. Kuss. He was an exemplary pilot.

Touched
 

It has been a difficult semester and because I have trust and had faith in a large part of the graduating MSW students (the morning cohort) I have pushed them to be the best they could be. I don't remember this but the class speaker at graduation said the first thing I said to them as their first teacher in the program is "if you don't have a therapist, get one".

This evening I received the following email. Now I could put myself down and ask if she sent something like this to all the professors but I won't, I will just bask in being touched

Dear Prof ,
There are not enough thank you's for you ! I appreciate everything you have done for me these past 2 years!! You have inspired myself and many other graduates in many ways. So I thank you for everything you have taught me. I promise I'll make you proud !

I told her she already made me proud. This is why I do this, not to be given accolades but to know that I have helped them do the work to be people who will fight oppression and injustice and work with others in changing the world.