The fact that I am not sleeping is on my mind and why I am not sleeping is right behind it. I did not think the holidays would hit me like this. I knew it would be difficult but not like this. This will be my first Thanksgiving completely alone and it is eating me up inside even though I keep trying to push it out of my mind. I cam back to this stupid because 1) I had no choice and 2) I believed my sisters lies that the family missed me and wanted me home. Yeah they miss me so much and want me home so much not one of the three that live in this city has bothered to invite me to dinner. Wanted me so much when I called and asked my sister tonight if I could come over to see my grand-nephew I was told flat out your not welcome here....
I do have things to be thankful for...I am alive for one...I have a meet wonderful people on this site...and of course now I have my girl to be thankful for....I am trying to be positive it just gets hard sometimes.....

Lord, have mercy...
 

How undeniably sexy, classy, and cool my baby is....Raaawr...hy makes my heart>>>:rose:

The fact that I had bought tickets to a concert I was so looking forward to and finding out last night that what I thought was the date of the performance was in fact wrong. So instead of planning and enjoying a needed distraction of seeing Hinder live on the 20th I am kicking myself for actually missing it because the concert was on the 12th. Granted I enjoyed what I was doing on the 12th of this month but the Hinder concert was to be my distraction for the disappointment surrounding Thanksgiving. *Sigh* it is what it is right and at least I have the weekend to come up with a different way to distract myself. That at least finding out means I avoided the embarrassed feeling of showing up to something that was not happening and the bigger let down that would have occurred on Monday. There is a positive to everything if I look hard enough.

as per the norm....


Coffee

I find it so terribly sad that we are losing an iconic American industry for the sole reason of people not being able to come to an agreement. Finding out that the union that REPRESENTS the Hostess employees is the cause of the company's demise is horrifying to me. It seems a bit like cutting off your nose to spite your face. But that's 18 THOUSAND noses and faces.... And 18,000 families that will lose an income this winter/holiday season.

And just as an aside...I'm not truly a Twinkie junkie....I haven't actually had one in years.It was always sufficient to know that they were there if I ever wanted one. Like Malomars. So maybe I have contributed to their demise in some small way....

<<<Catholic girl with Catholic guilt.....

Coffee!!!!

I desire a date.

my Sight... and... how the things I see... will come to be...

this issue has been on my mind.
 

The union is not responsible for the demise of Hostess.

The union was advocating for the bakers who were being asked to make more significant concessions like reduction in pay and benefits. They'd already taken two pay cuts, lost benefits, and lost their pensions over the past several years.
You might want to look at the other side for the cause, the side that was advocating for corporate greed and the CEO whose several million dollar compensation package had tripled in the past few years and the executives whose pay had risen by an average of 80%. Meanwhile the company was on the verge of bankruptcy and people who barely made a living wage as it is (I saw an analysis today that said the bakers made an average of $14,000 per year) were asked to take less and less.

The rich are getting richer and the poor are getting poorer all the time. Unions are one of our only defense mechanisms when it comes to keeping what we have.

Don't allow them to be vilified.

This site is on mind lately. On how I used to look forward to coming here and finding connection with the community. When I could come and almost every thread either made me smile or laugh because of something one of the people on my friend list has said. Now though it is almost a chore for me to come here. Not even the thought of posting in my own thread draws me here any loner. I now almost always worry about being misunderstood and judged. This upsets me because I have so much in real life going on that the old laughter would have been appreciated and writing without feeling the fear of being misunderstood was desperately needed. No one has said anything or done anything to make me feel this way, it is just the energy I get when I come here now. Maybe it is the holiday season, maybe it is an over tired mind being paranoid, or it could be real that this is just the wrong site for me. *Sigh* so this site is on my mind and what I need or want to do about it now.

I can't sleep tonight and there's a lot on my mind. I've made a lot of changes lately, all of them has been really difficult for me. At night lately I just want to be held. But there's no 1 here to hold me. The result is insomnia. I guess I'm just waiting for 1 thing to even out, wanting to feel like it's complete and headed in the right direction.

On My Mind
 

Is there a thread for those folks who are into D-s only?

I haven't been in the doc's office for quite sometime for those kinds of exams.
Not fond of them at all...
Seems I am going back tomorrow for labwork and such.
Might even be walking out with blood pressure meds.
She wasn't none to pleased with the two readings I had today. :sigh:

Overnight shift begins at midnight and then to the lab when I get out at 8am... blah!

The irony of the text I just got. Meant lovingly and supportive... Instead invoked bitterness.

Homework and the exam I just took.

Put her royal highness to bed.... In my bed.

Jackrabbit sleeping on her back.

Conversations had.

The road taken, aware I'm at a split, wondering which way my road will turn, left or right.

Bear making me laugh last night. Joyful laughter that's been absent in me for the last couple of months, thus giving me hope it will return.