Why is it so hard to have a good conversation with a goat? Because they are always butting in.

What do you call a baby goat who is sleeping? A kid-napper.

What do you call a baby goat who is good at martial arts? The Karate Kid.

Patient: Doctor, doctor - I keep thinking that I'm a goat.

Doctor: How long have you felt like this?

Patient: Ever since I was a kid.

~~
Q. What do you get when you throw ungrateful kids in to a meat grinder?
A. Bratwurst

Two young boys walked into a drug store, picked out a box of tampons, and proceeded to the checkout counter. The man at the counter asked the older boy, "Son, how old are you?"

"Eight" the boy replied. The man continued, "Do you know what these are used for?"

The boy replied, "Not exactly, but they aren't for me. They're for him... He's my brother. He's four. We saw on TV that if you use these, you will be able to swim and ride a bike. Right now, he can't do either"....:giggle:

~~~

My son kept chewing on electrical chords, so I grounded him...


He's doing better currently and conducting himself properly.

~~~
Did you hear about that group where only Trump supporters are allowed?

Everyone else is forbiden...

~~

The two bears had to break up... they were polar opposites!

How do you know when a bear is moving house? They put up a 'fur sale' sign up.

What do bears pack in their suitcases? Only the bear necessities.

Corny Jokes
 

Sue: I thought you were on a diet?

Mary: I am, I am just eating this fudge to test myself and so far I have failed.



John, why did you run out of the operating room ?
Well Harry the nurse said "be brave"
So Why would that frighten you, thats nice.
No its not, she was speaking to the Dr.

Corny Jokes
 

Waiter "why don't you try some of our delicious smothered chicken sir"
Patron "Don't bother telling me how you killed it, just bring it".

A simple guy walks into an office and asks for a job.
The manager says "in order to get this job, finish this sentence. Old McDonald had a ---->
Oh says the guy "thats easy, Old McDonald had a farm".
Manager says "ok now spell farm".
Easy says the simple guy "EIEIO

Q: Why are Christmas trees so fond of the past? A: Because the present's beneath them.

True story:

My sister texted and asked, "What beverages do you want me to bring you from the liquor store?"

I said, "Uhm . . . I don't need any "beverages". Why?

She said, "I thought you said you needed some Christmas spirit!"

LOL

~~
Did you hear about the kid who was scared of Santa?

He was Claus-trophobic.

~~~

What did the judge say to the angry advent calendar?

Your days are numbered!

What do you call an Irish spider?
Answer: Paddy long legs!
—————————
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Irish.
Irish who?
Irish you a happy St. Patrick’s Day!

:bow:

:clover:

Knock, knock! Who's there? Pat. Pat who? Pat on your shoes and let's get to the St. Patrick's Day party...:giggle:

~~~
How can you tell if a leprechaun likes your joke? He’s Dublin over with laughter! :rofl:

What’s Irish and stays out all night? Paddy O’Furniture.

:tea:.....

What kind of tea is hard to swallow?

Reality.

Q: What’s it like to be kissed by a vampire?


A: It’s a pain in the neck.