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randrum 09-05-2015 11:19 AM

I met my last ex online, through Match.com.

The one before that was in college, through a mutual friend.

I have a hard time getting out and meeting people. I'm definitely an introvert. And I'm much more comfortable at home than out and about. So for me to go to a bar, or some place like that, would not work.

Shystonefem 09-05-2015 01:28 PM

I am going to say this out loud for the first time...

I do enjoy being single because I don't have to cook for anyone and nobody is showing me that I can clean the corners of the hall.

Although my dogs cuddle with me and I have no space at night, I miss a human body cuddling with me.

I have slept alone for almost a year, and its not fun.

But I realized today, that the person that will win my heart, has to be that amazing special person because I am an amazing special person

The person that will side with you even when you're wrong, the person that would do anything for you
.. yeah, that is me. And it was just today that I realized how precious that quality was.

Until I meet somebody that deserves me, I'm not jumping. And, I have never had casual sex so that ain't now happening either.

curlyredhead 09-05-2015 08:16 PM

Being Single
 
So I see a lot of people posting about be single and such. I have been single since Winter of 2012. I am going on 3 years and does it bother me? Sometimes I have my moments where I had a woman to come home to and enjoy dinner and the weekends with them. Travel and such.

But I am also at a certain point in my life where I have realized that some women still play games and I don't play games well. I am too old for that now. On the otherside of it I also have realize what I am really looking for and what I desire. If you are really curious feel free to message me privately and I will go into details.

I still believe I am going to meet that one person and everything is going to fall into place when I least expect it.

Have a good evening all of you :)

Mormegil 09-08-2015 12:50 AM

I have never had a relationship due to social anxiety disorder being severe in my teens and 20s. Now In my 30s I have reached a place I can date or have a relationship. But my inexperience is a major wall between me and women. A wall I cant see but they can and when they do they high tail it outta here lol.

I covered this issue more in depth in a topic i posted in the Dating forum so I wont repeat it. But it definately sucks when your told how amazing you are , how cute etc. And when they ask about experience I dont have but one brief date earlier this year. I go from an amazing woman to discard pile.

Its very lonely honestly . Never having recieved affection at all makes me feel like im in some sort of bubble. Hell only affection I ever got was holding hands earlier this year with the one woman I dated briefly that had social anxiety to. I cant put into words how nice it was just for someone to hold my hand. Might sound pathetic , but when you have been lonely as long as I have its just the way it is.

But I havent lost faith theres someone for me somewhere. But they will have to beable to accept me they way iam , inexperience and all. I think Im a pretty good catch myself ;)

Shystonefem 09-08-2015 08:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by curlyredhead (Post 1012321)
So I see a lot of people posting about be single and such. I have been single since Winter of 2012. I am going on 3 years and does it bother me? Sometimes I have my moments where I had a woman to come home to and enjoy dinner and the weekends.



Being single does not bother me. I have my life, my career, my animals, etc.

If someone wants to be in my life AND there is chemistry, ok. If not, I am good with me.

To be honest, I have been asked out or even "bulliex" by butcher and guys.

Let me just say that if you feel the need to TRY to "bully me into your life"... it will NEVER happen. I am not desperate. And, if "the one" never cones along, I'm good.

Mel C. 09-08-2015 07:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mormegil (Post 1012727)
I have never had a relationship due to social anxiety disorder being severe in my teens and 20s. Now In my 30s I have reached a place I can date or have a relationship. But my inexperience is a major wall between me and women. A wall I cant see but they can and when they do they high tail it outta here lol...

I think I can relate. I didn't date in High School or College. Most of my "dating" was a short stretch years ago when I first identified as butch. I stayed self-medicated with alcohol, which luckily didn't back-fire. I still don't feel well equipped to "date," but I'm trying to socialize more. I think my goal is to build friendships and if one of those friendships leads to dating, great. Not sure how I will handle it when I get to that point, but I have time to figure it out.

JDeere 09-08-2015 07:46 PM

Evening Singles!

I am just here to drop off more goodies and stock the fridge with drinks!

I have been watching the conversation in here and I think it's a great one to have! Keep up the dialog!

randrum 09-08-2015 08:20 PM

It was nice to hear from Mel C. and Mormegil today. Because I feel the same way.

I didn't date at all in HS. And only a little in college. I've had 2 girlfriends ever. And I don't feel like I am equipped to date. I don't feel I know how to go about it.

I haven't been on a date in 4 years. And while, in my mind, I have an idea of what I am looking for. And an idea of how I think it should feel, or progress. I also feel totally out of my league when it comes to the actual reality of the situation.

I think that's why a lot of times I shy away further from social interaction.

Gemme 09-08-2015 08:33 PM

Including all of the short term (aka: not around long enough for nookie) folks, I've dated enough to make up for those of you who are more shy and I still haven't gotten it right yet.

:blink:

Mel C. 09-08-2015 08:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gemme (Post 1012900)
Including all of the short term (aka: not around long enough for nookie) folks, I've dated enough to make up for those of you who are more shy and I still haven't gotten it right yet.

:blink:

I tell myself it's about quality not quantity, but just how long is long enough for nookie????? :|

Gemme 09-08-2015 09:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mel C. (Post 1012918)
I tell myself it's about quality not quantity, but just how long is long enough for nookie????? :|

Well, there was the girl in Orlando that would only hold hands. I think that she had self-image issues with her grill so there was no mouth on mouth kissing. No nookie there either. That was less than a month. There were other issues but the lack of intimacy was a strong factor.

My first butch and I dated with nothing more than petting and that only came after months of dating.

Steve Harvey has the 90 day rule.

I'm too old to worry about that now though. Let me find someone in the same state as me or within 2 hours' travel time and then we'll go from there.

:blink:

Mormegil 09-08-2015 09:42 PM

Randrum , MelC , Thanks for responding. And I can relate to not feeling equipped to date so to say. But the feeling I get from the women that get to know me is that they just dont want to teach or they dont know how to handle me. And Ive been told the latter by one " i just dont know what to do with you , I dont want to scare you"

That right there is super annoying that 95% of them have said something similar along the lines of me being afraid. And until they pulled the truth out of me about my dating past , they didnt even know. And never said anything like that and treated me normal.

Its like suddenly Im untouchable and they make up all this in their heads. Its crazy. Thing is its so simple , Iam no different than anyone else except I havent had sex or dated extensively. Thats it.

And as far as my ability to date . If im brave enough to ask you out , get your number and txt you or try to get your attention . doesnt that mean Im willing to you know...date you? Or atleast attempt friendship , heck they dont even want to be friends after they find out. Their excuses are annoying and their running out of new ones lol

Sometimes I wonder if its my area. Who knows lol

JustLovelyJenn 09-08-2015 09:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gemme (Post 1012930)
I'm too old to worry about that now though. Let me find someone in the same state as me or within 2 hours' travel time and then we'll go from there.

:blink:

YES! THIS! I would love to find someone within traveling distance that really goes somewhere.

I also really agree with the 90 day rule. That is generally my rule for meeting the kids. You have to be around for at least 3 months.

Zimmeh 09-09-2015 08:55 PM

Good Evening Everyone,

It has been two months since I've had an contact with my ex. It hurts but it is what I need to be happy! I'm still putting my life back together and one of my old coworkers in Orlando, is helping me to find a job there 😀.

Have a great night!

Zimmeh and Babygirl

Yanz 09-11-2015 09:03 PM

Hye zimmy...well...juz wanna stop by n say....hi all....i'm yanz....well...wats can i describe bout myself?...hummm....ok...i'm butch....being single for at least 4 years...join diz forum to mert a firiend dats i can share thought n opinions....i was being so empty n lonely lately...dun noe y.....well...dats it bout me...

Mel C. 09-11-2015 09:29 PM

Friday night at home....B-O-R-I-N-G! I don't need a date, but friends would be nice!

JDeere 09-11-2015 09:45 PM

I brought goodies again and yes some sugar free stuff too!

Restocking the fridge and wine bar right now for y'all!

Zimmeh 09-12-2015 06:37 PM

Good Evening Everyone! I'm sitting under the blankets and watching, "Inside The American Mob" on Netflix. It's a pretty cool show.

Leaving you all a bunch of unhealthy goodies to snack on 😀

Zimmeh

Zimmeh 09-12-2015 09:33 PM

Good night Everyone!

Zimmeh

Mel C. 09-13-2015 12:29 AM

I'm so tired! I volunteered at a fundraiser for at-risk youth, including homeless gay and lesbian teens. While I was happy to contribute to a worthy cause, I couldn't help but notice that there were a lot of couples AND that the average age was late 20's to early 30's. This is certainly not my demographic so I pose the following questions:

1) When you feel like you are the only single person, how do you deal with it (avoid the scenario, embrace your singleness, etc)?

2) Do you attend events if you know only 5-10% are in your age group?


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