Butch Femme Planet - Top 10 Lesbian Myths

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- The Lesbian Zone (http://www.butchfemmeplanet.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=95)

- - Top 10 Lesbian Myths (http://www.butchfemmeplanet.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1555)

This all makes me wonder a bit, because all this time I thought
I was having 'Me' sex ~ 'My' sex...my own style, delivery, etc.
:thinking:

Not to say this hasn't been an interesting thread to follow.
I just cannot fathom categorizing mah sex.
:|

I can say that Bed Death is something that can reincarnate.
For those who are experiencing this, if it's in your
heart to revive it...then don't give up.
:hangloose:

:daywalker:

It's pretty simple. We are all different. There are no two people who share identical desires. I am not so pleased there is all this stereotyping going on. I can only speak from my own experience as an older femme.

I came out as a Femme in 1979 and was partnered with a Butch. We did not follow any rules sexually. She beat the crap out of me almost daily. Thankfully, I did not judge all butches to beat their femmes.

I lived, loved and partnered with a Femme. I believe in this relationship, I felt quite the Lesbian and for me, lost so much of who I was. Sex, well -- It was just that. Sex. GOD... If she would have just slammed me up against the wall and taken me. Our sex life was traditional in every sense of the word. We experienced LDB pretty quick into the relationship. Without passion, this will happen. It happens with straight people too, as well as those of us in the B/F dynamic.

Since the ending of that relationship, I have only exclusively dated Butches. I am Femme - There is a dynamic which takes place between the butch in my life and myself. I am not subservient to my butch, nor do I follow any set of rules. Sexually... That is really between the butch I am sleeping with and myself, and they are not constructed of any rules, other than the ones we have negotiated and feel passionate about. My butch has their boundaries and I have mine. We love with respect.

I am not sure why we are criticizing one another here. Why we are fighting for our right to be better than the next. What really matters most. Each and every one of us should find that special person we want to spend our lives with. To experience the ultimate gift of love. To experience the ultimate gift of passion with your love. Of course, if you do not want love - but just want to fuck... Then really... Do it! Fuck and be Happy - Any which way you do it.

I love the term Butch Cock - I love the term Femme Cock - I love the term Cock. When I think of the anatomy of a bio male - I think Penis. In my world, Cock is reserved for me and my partner. Call it a Dildo, that's great - I called it a Dildo when I was in a femme/femme relationship. "Hey Rachel... Where's the Dildo?" Does it get any more romantic than that.

Julie

The logic follows...bed death is a reason to leave an otherwise good relationship and leaving said relationship May be based on how you identify and what color and shape your cock may be... wow. hahahahahaha

menopause
medications
MS
Lupus
Rheumatoid Arthritis
Osteoarthritis
etc., etc., etc.,

All relationships go through periods of more and less sexual activity. Some of us choose ways to be sexual and keep our relationship (non monog, poly, serial monog, etc), some move on (finding someone who exactly meets their sexual needs (okay that made me laugh a little, too), some chose to fake it till you make it (been faked on, I dun like it myself) and some after a period of time renew their sexual activity. I love sex. I loved sex when I was an out femme lesbian in the 70's. I loved sex when I was a political rabid social worker femme lesbian in the 80's. I loved sex as a femme dyke in the 90's. I love sex now as a Queer Femme. Right this moment in time, I have making love and sex in an amazing way. Away from all labels of gender or queerness, I think the fluctuation of sexual activity is a pretty basic human physiological and emotional phenomena.

Kobi now has "Old MacDonald Has A Farm"
stuck in her head thanks to you folks.....

....with a butch cock here and a femme cock there....
....here a cock, there a cock, everywhere a cock cock...

:vigil:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kobi (Post 236588)

OMG, lmao......thanks, a LOT

LOL. Like InfiniteFemme, i sooo like the word. Butch COCK, femme COCK.

Yum, yum, yummy yum.

i can't imagine limiting my SEX life in some way because it might look heteronormative. i fought the sex wars in the eighties. i am done with that.

i don't defend my sex life. i enjoy it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kobi (Post 236588)

Now, now Isadora...you know if a glow in the dark dolphin was comin' at you, you'd jump out of bed <g>.

Rewinding the Tape

Quote:

Originally Posted by Metropolis (Post 124924)

Top 10 Myths About Lesbians

1. LESBIANS HATE MEN

No, actually I found most lesbians love men, and have many men in their lives. Many have been married to men, though perhaps not in love they loved their spouse as friends. Lesbians also love their fathers and brothers, sons, and friends. There are some people who hate men, just as often it's straight women (even some men do). Actually to be frank, I've found in my experience more men hate lesbians, than the opposite (ironically these people are probably most readily identified by their statements about "lesbians hate men").

Some gay, straight women and men do hate the violence that men commit against women, and many have first hand experience with that, and the condition of the world and second class status of women under the current patriarchy. These things could result in hating men. But lesbians are more often said to be man-haters because it is not understood that females can love other females because they are naturally attracted to the spirituality, emotional make-up, and unique sexuality of other women. It's also used as a way to discredit the ability of women to live lives outside of the need for men. But just because you're not attracted to someone, doesn't mean you hate them, that's kindergarten thinking. People who hate men are called "Misandrists", not "lesbians".

2. LESBIANS WANT TO BE MEN

No, this one is especially attributed to "butch" lesbians. In reality people who are brave and brazen enough be a non-conformist against the hetero-normative expectations of sexual orientation are also more prone to non-comformative behaviors in social sexual dress codes. Many in this choose to dress in more androgynous or more masculine ways that make them feel comfortable in who they are. In reality many heterosexual people dress in more non-conformative ways as well. People who's minds are the opposite sex of their body are called Transsexuals, not lesbians.

3. LESBIANS SHOULDN'T WORK WITH CHILDREN

Lesbians should work with children. Perhaps the next generations could learn from the get-go what normal, loving, caring everyday people we all are no matter our sexual orientation. Lesbians aren't interested in children sexually, that is called a Pedophile, and 98% of them are straight men abusing young girls.

4. LESBIANISM IS OK, AS LONG AS THEY KEEP QUIET AND KEEP IT OUT OF SIGHT

Ahhhhhhh no, lesbians are A-ok all around. Homosexuality is not abnormal, it is not a "human deviation", it is found regularly in nature in animals of all species. What's not ok is discrimination and violence against them because of their visibility, what abnormal is lobotomy's and shock treatments that were given to people because they fell in love with someone that wasn't the opposite sex. It's not ok to deny housing, jobs, hospital visitation of dying spouses, it's not ok to kill, rape and beat people because of their sexual orientation... maybe if all that stopped you'd get your wish and we'd be more quiet.

5. ALL LESBIANS ARE JUST ANGRY FEMINISTS

Not all lesbians are feminist, there are some lesbians are in the feminist movement in an effort to further the rights of all women lesbian or not. The feminist movement has greatly improved the lives of all queer females and straight women alike. Lesbians who are feminists have also been a huge part and greatly furthered the LGQBTI movement for all homosexuals and trans persons as well. It's called fighting for equal rights for everyone... not we want more than you... we want the same as you. If you're experiencing "angry lesbian feminists" perhaps they're just mad at you for calling them that or something else you did.

6. LESBIANS HAVE PENIS ENVY.

First of all sexuality and sexual orientation is about the person and not a sex organ. A person may desire the experience of penetration or giving another that experience through the use of sexual toys. Second not all dildos are penis replica's, some are some aren't. I know it may be difficult to comprehend but there is more to sexual orientation than fixation on genitals, and really most lesbians aren't thinking about a lot about penis's, that's probably important to try to remember.

7. LESBIANS WHO LOVE BUTCH LESBIANS SHOULD JUST FIND A MAN.

This is an easy one, one word... L-E-S-B-I-A-N. But to be even clearer, butch lesbians aren't men... wait (checks and cleans my spectacles and looks again) nope, still not men. With that I'll leave you with one more deep sobering thought to ponder...L-E-S-B-I-A-N

8. LESBIANS ARE UGLY WOMEN WHO CAN'T FIND MEN

Nope! Lesbians are women with all different types of physical characteristics, just- like- any- other- group- within- the- human- sexes. Blond, brunette, red heads, raven haired, short, tall, fat, skinny, long haired, short haired women of all colors and races that simply don't desire men. Again, many lesbians have been married and had boyfriends. If it was about being ugly, there are some of ugly men out there to pair up and not so hard to find that anyone would need to change sexual orientation over it.

9. LESBIANS ARE OUT TO CONVERT YOUNG GIRLS (RECRUITING)
Lesbians are not interested in conversion or force. As lesbians they know well the feeling of having another's ideas of sexuality force fed to them. They are acutely and especially aware sexual orientation isn't something somebody can talk you into. There is no "lesbian dust" we sprinkle on people... get real (but if there was I'd throw it on you).

10. LESBIANS JUST HAVEN"T FOUND THE RIGHT MAN YET

Really, no, some haven't found the right woman yet, and if they haven't found the right man it's because there isn't one... the important thing to remember here is, they're gay, so stop hitting on them stupid.

---

Lesbians and Dykes (I prefer "Big Ol' Damn Dyke" if you're name calling, thank you) often do have an agenda. I know, see you were right, we want something. I found most of us seem for the most part hell bent on finding a life partner, someone to share the daily grind with, to love, laugh and cry with. Some would like a family, a home and a dog or cat. They may also seek community... not always successfully.

And yes, they also seem to often care about equal rights for themselves and their families, and sometimes just want to be safe.

But if you find all this lacking, and want to hear me say something really awful about lesbians... there is this.

Lesbians in South Africa today are being murdered and raped daily by men trying to "cure" them of their sexuality. The sexual attacks are called "corrective rape" of which 10 new cases are reported each week. Of the men who are brought to trial, only 1 in 25 will be convicted.

Though it's far away, and an extreme example, this is not something that's isolated and far away. Lesbians are raped, beaten and killed for there sexuality on every continent. If you Google "lesbian raped" you'll receive over 40,000 hits... admittedly these are not all real cases... many are ads for porn videos depicting lesbians being raped. Yeah I know, not so funny.

The purpose of the thread is for debunking myths about lesbians, not to perpetuate them.

Lesbians are notorious bad dressers.

This always makes me chuckle. Tho, I did finally order my first ever fleece lined flannel shirt. :blink:

And sneakers can be formal footware - requires an attitude but can be done!

I am not a bad dresser, casual most of the time, but not bad.......
I do not 'hate' anyone, some men aggravate me, but so does the toilet paper being hung wrong.
I do not have penis envy.
I had a wonderful senstive man, (I even said he had one ovary), still, he wasn't "right" he is a man. I like women, period.
LesbyLola
:)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kobi (Post 237520)

Maybe if they're blinged out.....

:eyebat:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kobi (Post 237520)

I am a Femme first - which means...
I am a FABULOUS dresser.
When I bring the Lesbian of myself into the equation.
You can find me wearing Birkenstocks.
This whole statement of thought is soooooo soooooo sooooooo
I am getting older and losing my words.
Is this a Lesbian thing?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Daywalker (Post 236565)

I agree with this (Thank you Mr Day )... sex is defined by the TWO people having it.. Sex can happen in many ways and not just in bed during penetration.. its much more than that.. It is redefined with each new relationship for crying out loud. It's YOUR sex dammit, and no one should presume to know it. I really get tired of the general (straight) public assuming we are trying to duplicate straight couple sex.. hell that would be damn boring!

I think I need some angry sex now! GrrrrR($*@(#@

I confess, I am a lesbian and have never owned a pair of Birkenstocks despite the fact that I have lived in Santa Cruz, CA; Ithaca, NY and Portland, OR. However, I have owned flannel shirts. I must be butch :D

As to sex, I agree it's all individual and you can't stereotype or predict how someone or a group of someones has sex or enjoys sex by their gender or sexual orientation.

Quote:

Originally Posted by InfiniteFemme (Post 237620)

What is the difference between being a femme and a lesbian? is one mutally exlclusive/inclusive of the other?? I'm seriously asking anyone who'd like to answer. Thank you IF for your answer the other day. I am hoping to see if someone can expand on your answer. :D

The reason I ask (you ask) :o, is that I feel like nothing I am, or feel, fits ANY of these subdivided labels that I find so prevalent here on the planet. Here I thought I was doing well to finally come out as a lesbian, only to find that well? hell.......that ain't all there is!!! I'm talkin years of self-evolution here. I wear Birks, but I wear boots too, and? you'll catch me in kitten heals on just the right occasion (tongue cheek here)
Is there anybody out there who 'gets me'???? think I'm strange?? (yes, tell me)
This is the lesbian myth thread, but it seems all encompassing :)
I am NOT in the least uncomfortable with who I am, but it seems as though I may indeed be misunderstanding myself, LOL...geebus! :seeingstars:

Quote:

Originally Posted by InfiniteFemme (Post 237620)

Julie,

Breathe.

This is just another myth. It is a thread on lesbian myths. So, I was saying there is a myth that lesbians are poor dressers.

So this whole statement of thought is soooo soooo soooo mythical.

Capiche?

Lola - I don't really think there is a clear cut definition of what femme is and means. It is individual for all of us. For me, it is not about what I wear - but who I am inside. I cannot explain it. It is like LOVE - there is no clear definition for Love, as it means something different to all of us.

I wish you luck in figuring all this out. And maybe you are simply a Lesbian Women, which is equally as fabulous. Just enjoy and love who you are, that is really all that matters at the end of the day.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kobi (Post 237629)

LOL I just adore how literal you are.
Capiche.. Indeed.

Quote:

Originally Posted by InfiniteFemme (Post 237631)

Well, thanks again!
Honestly, I'm so happy to be in this particular space,(finally figuring out I wasn't 'broken') I suppose there's always a chance I could become enlightened to something else, who knows? Life is like that, yes?

Quote:

Originally Posted by LipstickLola (Post 237638)

You will learn more here on the Planet then you ever thought even was possible.
And, I suspect like the rest of us, you take what fits, try out a few new things, acknowledge the rest, and become a well rounded and informed
POQ i.e. person of queerness.

:candle: Kumbaya