Butch Femme Planet - What TO DO in a relationship.....

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make love often

enjoy listening to music dance

have dinner together candles flowers even on a weekday

different friends spend time away with said friends

common friends same as above

have interests that keep the conversations
exciting

silence together

read to her if she enjoys this

let her read to you if you enjoy this

cook together already has been shared

surprise her in ways she enjoys

hmmm seems I have some thoughts
on this

enjoying reading this thread thanks

Greco

...enjoy and take time for frequent family-centered dinners, at a real dinner table... away from the TV, computers and other such devices.
Even if it's a dinner for two, or just "pizza night"... sit at a dinner table and take time to be together without distractions, enjoy eachother's company and lots of laughter...or a serious talk where you give the other your undivided attention... at a real dinner table.

For years while raising my son, because we were always so busy or were distracted by TV or video games, I neglected the family dinner time....
Until his grandparents reminded me of the importance of and special communications that can happen while at a real dinner table... and it reminded me of how many special memories I have of my great-gramma while at her table. In a relationship, I think the special time spent at a dinner or breakfast table is very important and very healthy.

And it's fun to make special traditions for dinner time.... like my son's favorite that was passed down from my great-grampa..."Have dessert first; how else would you have room for it." ...I love to see people's expressions when I occasionally pull that one on them. Or, the old fashioned "pass and break the bread" at the beginning of a meal (that's one of my favorites). Dinner table traditions are a fun thing to do and opens up the door for laughter and relaxation.

I believe the things that can happen and the open communication that flows at a dinner table can really strengthen bonds in a relationship.... it also shows you are willing to MAKE time out of your busy day for the other person or family members....

I love my beautiful dinner table NOT because it is a 100 year old hand carved, honey stained solid oak with beautiful round top and "hand turned" legs, with 4 very beautiful "wheat back" solid oak comfortable chairs...but because of the many special times and memories with family and loved ones.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sweet (Post 321620)

I COMPLETELY agree and admit I allowed this to interfere in past relationships. I wanted so badly uninterrupted US space while we enjoyed a meal together. Computers and tv were more important :( I have that now (we don't even have a TV yay!) and I treasure it every single night.

just sit around and TALK.

For Me

Communicate about everything. Leave nothing out. Never hide anything from your partner. A white lie is still a lie. It still will be found out and it still stings and causes so much devastation to a relationship. White Lies are termites lol

Romance. Flowers candles foot rubs body rubs bubble baths washing her hair and the little things just to name a few show how much one cares

Affection. Just holding hands a hug from behind as she cooks for you holding her while she sleeps these are just a few ways to be affectionate but go so far

Loyalty. Stand by your partners side even if you think they are wrong. Always present a united front

Honesty Always be.totally honest

Trust. Trust your partner with every fiber of your being. If you can't trust them work it out or leave. Without trust there is nothing.

Always Date. This will keep your relationship refreshed. And you will remember why you fell in love to start with.

Leave work early and head to the beach!!!

Cause love isn't everything!

Like the people your in a relationship with

Know that work isnt always the priority

I am very bad at this but hopefully getting better

Trust...don't just say u do
Be Honest...even when it is the hardest thing to do
Try new things together...laugh where some don't work
COMPROMISE
Don't let the past negatively effect the future...
Ask...listen...remember...surprise...
Be random & silly together
A whole lotta I love you's...
Be affectionate...everywhere(appropriately)
RESPECT...yourself, your partner, your relationship...
Enjoy...time, little things, eachother...

Read this thread.

Especially this post. Well said!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Venus007 (Post 319802)

Embrace and encourage individual interests and adventures for both yourself and your partner. You are not conjoined twins, by maintaining your difference you increase limerence and it helps keep conversation interesting.

Get away every once in awhile and have an adventure (esp in long term relationships). You need to get out in the world and see each other interacting with said world, this helps remind you why you love the person in the first place.

Have sex in new ways and new places, resist the rut that leads to boredom that steals your heat. Have sex in a new room in the house, try a new position, shake it up. You don't have to get all crazy (unless you want to) but try new things.

Do physical things together, wrestle, dance, walk, by connecting physically (other than sexually) it helps build new neural paths and strengthens your bond.

When talking about emotional issues try to stay open and in the present moment. Really listen to what your partner is saying, even if it is hard for you to hear, even if you want to jump in and defend yourself, even if you think they are wrong, wrong, wrong. Just listen and support them, your time to talk will come and you will find the situation less combative if they feel genuinely heard and accepted. Both parties should practice this and believe me you will get better at it over time (it takes practice). Try reflecting back what you are hearing, e.g. "I hear you are frustrated because you feel like when I don't empty the dishwasher I am taking you for granted."

Agree to fight fair, have ground rules and stick to them, better yet write them down so it can remain an objective touch stone.

When you fuck up, genuinely apologize and make it right as much as you can.

Remember no one is perfect and it is difficult to make changes. Remove the sawdust in your eye before you gun for the log in someone else's.

Maintain yourself, your body, your mind, your spirit or soul, your credit score. There is nothing wrong with maintaining a little mystery and there is everything to gain by loving yourself and engaging in good strong self care.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bootboi (Post 322916)

Know that work isnt always the priority

I am very bad at this but hopefully getting better

Learning this one myself, Seems I am enrolled in Syr's school of relaxation. :|

Put WORDS into ACTIONS.

(We girls remember the promises made)

:bunchflowers:favourite treats!

play, have fun, joke around. Life is much less stressful when you don't take everything so seriously.

thought of another to do........If you are feeling like a night in shining armor or whatever you call a femme in shining armor. Jump on your horse and ride off into the sunset....come back and try it again when your armor is a little tarnished.

don't forget to take care of yourself... if you are not meeting your own personal needs, those can sometimes shift to your partner... which can be an overwhelming thing. you love your partner so easily... don't forget to love yourself!

When faced with assuming an action or word is malicious or just stupidly thoughtless or what have you, assume the best.

Remember your paramour is not perfect and is a flawed, failing, wonderful human being, just like you are.

Change is hard and it takes time. If you and your honey bunny are trying to change patterns that started in either of your childhoods or wherever in life, mistakes will be made, don't freak. Pick yourself up, dust off and start again, with consistent dedicated work you will see change, however, it is not instant.

Make sure every minute of every day that the person you have chosen to spend your life with knows how very loved they are.:bunchflowers: