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Have you ever stopped to think that the negative energy you exert dwelling on how "unpretty" you are, how you were born to suffer, etc is what is keeping you from finding someone? Whether you want to believe it or not, you are sooo young. There is a whole world of possibilities out here just waiting for you, but if you keep dwelling on what you perceive as negative and unwanted issues, the positive can never happen. With this being said, is it possible for you to go to some counseling to help with all this negativity in your life? I bet you would feel so much better about yourself and then the positive energies can flow and you will be able to find and accept love. I hink there are many of us both butch and femme that would love to go back to 21 and get to live life all over again! Life is way too short to be so down on yourself! |
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To be honest, negativity and hopelessness leak out and people pick up on that. What attracts folks is a positive attitude regardless of the fact you're single, and a realization that you are amazing on your own :). I get lonliness-everyone feels that, even in a huge party. You can't always choose whether you're coupled or single, but you get to choose your attitude and your actions. If you think it's suffering to be single, try being in the wrong relationship-one you get into when you feel that's as good as you can get. I already know something that sets you apart from 99% of the rest of the femmes here-you probably speak Russian and a host of other languages (besides learning English), and you're surrounded by Estonia! When you focus on what makes you unique and on your good qualities, you will become attractive. That genius Dr. Seuss also said "No one is youer than you". |
Words of wisdom from the above two posters. I wholeheartedly agree. There is nothing more attractive than someone who's happy with their lives. When you're happy with your life, then, only then are you ready to share it I believe.
Being a couple doesn't solve anything. Learn to love your life and yourself. I am fully aware of how easy it is to say and how hard it can be in practice. |
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Being a couple maybe doesn't solve anything, just like food doesn't solve anything, but we do need food to survive. We also need love and human contact. I think it's perfectly normal to painfully miss love and human contact and express that pain. I don't see anything wrong with that. Of course one should love one self but it's really hard to keep that going if the world "slapps" you too much for a too long time -if you know what I mean. Sometimes it just gets too much... And some things you just can't give yourself on your own. It's just not the same hugging yourself and having another person hugging you... But I do agree that a positive attitude can help bring good things into your life. I just find it unnecessary telling someone suffering that since I'm pretty sure almost everyone is already painfully aware of that fact... (I could be wrong though...) |
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I can echo these sentiments almost *exactly*. Thank you. Now, at least, I can take comfort from knowing that I'm not alone in being alone...and neither are you : ) |
I've been thinking the same thing for a very long time. I just don't think that the person I'm looking for exists. Even if she does, I don't know that I would recognize her. I guess I've just got to the point where I don't even look anymore.
One thing that really hinders my search is that I had more than one psychic tell me that I won't meet anyone for another 5-7 years. So, that being put in my head makes it hard for me to take any searching seriously. I would love to prove them wrong. I also figure that by that time....why bother? I'll be near 60 and don't think I would be prepared to share my life anymore....if I'm still alive then. My sympathies and compassion to all those who share this feeling. It's a hard road to walk alone. |
I can commiserate with you all, I myself have felt that more than once. The saying that someone when you least expect it will show up is possible, you have to be open to it though. I closed myself off for a long time while I rearranged my psyche so that I was in a better place and knew who I wanted in my life.
It does get lonely because you have so much you want to share, but you know what you can share it, you can share it by being good to yourself, by going out and enjoying your friends and life. This gets you out there and you know what the opportunity then exists that you may meet someone. All I can say is don't give up, even if you are late in life you still have alot of life to live, and if you wear a smile on your face you are going to attract another smile. Don't give up hope, she is out there in a place you haven't even thought of yet. |
I am pretty much a newbie to BFP. I started reading a couple of threads over the weekend. I found this one interesting because I could relate to a late of the comments shared at various points in my life.
I just wanted to thank you all for taking the time to share your thoughts. Have a great day! |
I know that it's hard not to give way to despair but everyone is able to decide against it - I did.
To be honest I never had a relationship or even a real date and still doubt that I will find a Butch who shares my view of life and is interested in me, but fortunately I'm comfortable with staying a single maiden. I have so much love to give and if thre is no one interested in a relationship I'll explore other ways to share this love. :cheer: |
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