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A powerful read...thank you for sharing this, Selly...big hugs for you. |
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This last year so many of them...I think that the Brain Spotting therapy I am having is helping. I think flashbacks pretty much describes ptsd to a t. :) |
Ohhh yes. You are right about that Apocalipstic! And it isn't a pretty picture either. I hate being on the receiving end of them too.
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More than anything in this world, on this day in this moment at this time in life I wish I had courage for the adversity I'm about to face. The first time, I had endurance. Now I'll found out what I am made of and what I am not made of, who I am and who I am not. I'm here online busying myself, trying to grasp and process things coming to light. Past and present, light and dark, heaven and hell, cowardice and courage, strength and weakness, the seen and unseen, life and death. God help me through this. I wondered what makes a man. I asked and it cost me my life and damn near my soul. My heart is faint and there is no one but God and me and a night in Rio Rio and the reason for it. Sorry to be cryptic, but typing this allows me to process my thoughts online as a link to the outside and something that feels sane right right now in my fright. This is and was my PTSD, and there is far more than I remembered. Now, I'm facing all of it and maybe now—finally—the devil will stop laughing.
Your fellow member, an ol' Jet in all foilbles 2/18 5:22 EST |
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I hope things get better for you soon. The PTSD makes us often relive things we don't even remember clearly...that don't match up right. Our minds play tricks on us. |
I finally ventured to this thread. I have passed it by so many times not wanting to remember, not wanting to acknowledge, not wanting to give respect to the girl who survived a thus far a lifetime of abuse. Embarrased, I suppose, ashamed, not wanting to be reticuled and thinking who would care anyway, its just me. But then I started reading and I see that we all have things in common. There are similarities in each of our sufferings and aftermath of our events. I feel almost like I have come home to ppl who will understand me. Thank you!
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(((((((((((((((Princess4u))))))))))))))))
we get it, honey. |
Welcome Princess!
You mention "the girl who". Do you feel like she was a different person? When I look back, I don't see myself as the same person I was before...I don't even know her somehow. Does that make sense? I am searching for her and all the her's I have been and trying to put us together somehow...to feel inside that we are the same person. Is this what you are saying? I hope all of us have a healing day and do good things for ourselves as a reward for making it this far! :) I am at work and listening to music from movies I love. Right now its Third Man and I have Jasmine Vanilla candles burning. A reward for taking care of business, even though I want to be in my closet hitting my head on the wall. |
Has anyone had success with "energy tapping,"?
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Energy Tapping, Fred P. Gallo, PH.D., Harry Vincenzi, ED.D; 2008; New Harbringer Publications, Inc. |
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http://www.emdr.com/briefdes.htm |
I must say that Energy Tapping's claims to rapidly eliminate anxiety, depression, etc. seem to be valid. I just did my first treatment, and it is amazing. I encourage everyone dealing with PTSD to check their local library for this book. I will be purchasing it. Something so simple and portable, that does not require anyone else's participation—its phenomenal; I am so glad that I found this.
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I have had many things come "up and out" since my post on Thursday. This past week, I have come through the roughest part of my trauma. I have been through this purging process, so to speak, for more than a year, and I am finally reaching core memories and emotions. They are still coming up as I write this tonight, but I have a much better handle on them. As such, I'm overcoming a lot of fear in remembering and associating with the event. This has been in my system and subconscious for 17 years. It claimed everything in my life. I hope very soon now that I'll walk free—and maybe in the coming year, I'll be as unaffected as having this be nothing more than a figment of my imagination.
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When, if ever do trigger words stop triggering? Has anyone ever reached this point, I would be curious to know. Thank you!
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Thinking out loud here...
For me, I have learned new coping skills to help with my trigger words. Everyone has different ways of coping and learning. Also, when people say time is a healer...for me, I have to disagree with that now. I have recently learned that some wounds will scar deeply, and some wounds really will never heal. They will be just as they are. Bruised, bloody, infected, and painful just as they were yesterday, today, and will be tomorrow.
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Just for today Ive decided Im not broken. I dont need to be fixed. Im not disregarding anybodys space. hell. I might be there in that broken feeling, wanting fixing, tomorrow. But for today, I am ok with all of it. All that happened. all that made me who I am at this very moment. Its nice. Its a light feeling.
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The brain spotting which seems to be similar ot the emdr seems to be helping, but it does bring up all sorts of things I have to be ready to deal with.
I don't seem as strung out and think I am a bit more centered. Will keep you all posted. Jet, glad things seem to be getting a bit better for you! Princess, thank you! What a powerful affirmation...just for today. Like Reiki. Andrew, you all of us, I hope all those scars can at least become infection free :) Liam, thank you for posting, I will read up. May we all have a peaceful, healthy week! :lips: |
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