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'I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date but unfortunately she’d popped her clogs.
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candy corny jokes ;)
Why wouldn't the skeleton cross the street?
He didn't have any guts. Why aren't ghost good liars? You can see right through them. Why are ghost good cheerleaders? They have spirit. What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman? Frostbite. Why can't ghosts have babies? They have hollow weenies! HAPPY HALLOWEEN ALL! ~W |
HO HO HO
What do you get if you deep fry Santa?
Krisp Kringle Why are Santa's helpers depressed? They have low elf esteem. What do you call people that are afraid of Santa? Claustrophobic Why doesn't Santa have any children? He only comes once a year and that's down the chimney. ;) ~W |
Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance?
He had no body to dance with Where do Santa's helpers go when they're sick? The National Elf Service |
Why couldn't the bicycle stand on its own?
It was TWO TIRED! |
Did you hear the one about the corduroy pillow?!
It made headlines! |
What did the blonde say when she gave birth?
"Is it mine"? ps. I have nothing against blondes, this is a joke. Only. |
told to me by a resident yesterday...
bus driver opens the door and sees a 3 eyed, armless, one legged person wanting to get on.
he says: eye, eye, eye. you look armless enough, hop on! |
Quote:
I say, Tell the same joke, but replace 'blond' with 'black'. How does it sound now? |
guy jumps off Empire State Bldg..On each floor as he goes by, people can hear him say " So far so good."
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Birthday Jokes for Mopsie
What has wings, a long tail, and wears a bow?
A birthday pheasant! What did one candle say to the other? Don't birthdays burn you up? What does a cat like to eat on his birthday? Mice cream and cake! Happy Birthday Mopsie! ~W |
Cornier and cornier
What is black and white and red all over?
A newspaper! To Chancie: I promise no more 'dumb blonde' jokes...:sorry: |
Do you know why you shouldn’t tell jokes to kleptomaniacs?
They always take things- literally ;D |
Two cannibals were eating a clown. One says to the other,
"Does this taste funny to you?" |
There was a person who sent 20 different puns to her friends, with the hope that at least 10 of the puns would make them laugh.
No pun in ten did. |
<3
What do you call a very small Valentine?
A valentiny! What did the farmer get his wife for Valentine's Day? Hogs and kisses. Do skunks celebrate Valentine's Day? Yes, they're very scent-imental! |
What is orange and doesn't belong to you?
Nacho cheese!
http://i1306.photobucket.com/albums/...psca7072cb.jpg lmao, the joke cracked me up and when I saw the picture I died all over again! It's all just so ridiculous. |
What does a mermaid who likes math wear?
An algae-bra! |
Someone stole the toilet from the police station.
The cops have nothing to go on. |
Why does a seagull fly over the sea?
Because if it flew over the bay it would be called a bagel! |
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