Butch Femme Planet - If You Could Turn Back Time, What Would You Do Differently?

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*with the notion that change is good:

To have found such vigor for learning sooner in life would have been super! Who knows what doors may have opened, presuming they would have led to something "good", some degree of self actualization or invited insanity.

And a new beginning awaits...

...so it is quite possible that I may have ended up right here, where I am now, and I'd rather be no other place.

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If I could do some of this mess over the one thing I would do is listen to wiser people,my life would havebeen so much better.

Take my time. Slow down. It all goes too fast anyhow and hurrying things along, well you miss so much & you make too many quick mistakes. I probably wouldn't really change any one thing perse as I am an avid believer in the butterfly effect, but I would def take things much slower if I could have a do over.

I would have been more careful in my decisions.

~ I would have left my ex years b4 I did ~
~ I would never have been as generous with my money ~
~ I would never have let anyone walk all over me ~
~ I would have never bought this beast of a house ~
~ I would not be in this place at this time ~

man up. walk the walk and talk the talk.

Not date women 20 to 30 years younger than me!

Finished college the first time I went (right out of high school)
Not married my son's father (but I probably would have had to find him and have a one-nighter just so I could still have my son ;) )
Come out MUCH sooner
Not wasted so much time and energy on those not worth the effort
Learned to play the cello
Realized my own worth much sooner

Found my soon to be wife :blueheels: years ago, done some military time and called my mom way more often.

I would have stayed in college
I would have taken a bigger interest in computers back then
I would have spent a lot more time with people, who are gone now.
Funny how you think of all sorts of questions you wish you had ask them after they are gone.

not leave Shenandoah valley ...I promised a very special person that as years went on, I'd be there to take care of her like she did me. I'd turn back time to get the past 14 years back...I'd never move away for the sake of chasing a paycheck. She was worth so much more.

I would be a little older, do my homework and study a little more, and have gone to work for and dive with Jacques Cousteau.

But this has all worked out very nicely...

I would have gone to college first and then entered the military.

I would have torn down the wall before it was too late.

I would have stayed in college the first time. Or the second. Or the third.

I would stop My nephew from getting on that motorcycle... :(

Quote:

Originally Posted by ~ocean (Post 788873)

I couldn't have said it any better. These exact things happened to me in my last relationship. I would just add

~take time to get to know the next one (if there is even going to be a next one) before I jump headlong into a relationship.

OR - to do it again, I would do my math and go into some sort of how our brains work kind of science...next time, as I said, this is very good.

I would take back words said in anger.

There is ONE pivitol moment in time I would give almost anything in my life to go back to. I was young and didn't use the right words to say what I needed to say. Not expressing what I needed to changed my life~forever! I wish I could go back to that moment, took a deep breath, cleared my head and used my brain. That was the first and last time I was speechless and stammering. I have chosen my words more wisely since.

I would have thought things through in my head and took a breath before I let the energy take over

I would have gotten her address and full name or whatever would help me find her.

I should have found a way.

Everything and nothing? If I can play around with time then everything is possible isn't it? I could try out every scenario of every situation. I could follow every dream, even the fleeting waking dreams. Then when I'd done it all I could come back to where I am now. The people I love now would still be here because I didn't wish them away.

Yes that is what I'd do. Everything and nothing.

I wouldn't do anything differently. I'm in the place of my life because of the paths I've chosen to take. I have no regrets, however I have learned many lessons. Without those lessons, I'd make the same mistakes... Keep taking chances or you'll miss great opportunities.

Turn back time..I would have chosen better methods for pain management. I would have sought out NA sooner.

I would have worked more on intimacy issues instead of letting my careers consume me. I would realize being a breadwinner is not a laurel to rest on.

I will listen more. It is not all about me.
I will:praying: pay attention to the memory making aspect of every moment.

I should have confronted her instead of turning away. Then maybe things would have turned out differently. Even now, the saying keeps going through my mind: The saddest words of voice and pen are simply these, "What might have been..."

The only thing, and I mean only, I would have done differently would have been to have bypassed a few women. Other than that, I have no regrets. I consider myself very lucky and I would rather be lucky than smart any day!

I would be more careful with my bagel this morning! I branded my finger on the still hot coils when it got stuck this morning. (At least I remembered to unplug it!)

take back words i've said to people that probably hurt them

I would have better recollection of the 80's and would not have hurt those I love with all my heart.

if i could go back 10 yrs i would.i have learned so many lessons the hard way.sometimes they sink into my noggin sometimes i have to be hit over the head with them..
i would of spent more time with my mother, more loving time with my mother although she smoked like a chimney and drank like a fish i am so glad my oldest doesn't not remember her grandmother that way.
i would have not listened to the family friend that said go look at your mother after she has passed away she will look so peaceful.. yup not so much
i would of managed my money better, left it all in investments had a full time job to live off of instead..although having the money did afford me to stay home and raise my youngest and i was able to make a lot of great memories with my kids and their great grandmother..
i wish i had been raised with better family values, better eating habits.

if i was able to turn the clock back 5 yrs i would do things different. i would of taken it slower, if the fires of 08 didn't happen i would of not needed to be "saved". i would of gotten therapy long before i did i would of not falling into the dark deep hole that consumes me to this day. i isolate myself big time i push people away i crawl inside myself wish people would of just been a little more understanding bi polar sucks and i am bettering myself daily, am i 100%? nope..is anyone ever 100%? i read a really great book on bi polar called the unquiet mind if you love someone who has bi polar plz read this.

if i could turn back time 3 yrs ago to the reunion i would of come way out of my shell and met all you fine folks that were there but i did not i kept myself tucked away.
if i could turn back the clock 2 yrs ago i would..i would change ever having to wear orange and been forced to drink sweet tea <blech> although it was something i will never forget.you being so worried bout me over in my pod me worried about you,seeing you first thing in the morning at med time, me not knowing what was going on..thank goodness all the girls were awesome..

if i could turn the clock back a yr i would do so i would communicate more,loved harder,fought harder,thought before i spoke, and believed more. i would of worked instead of being on call whenever you wanted me to be..i think money comes between people, sickness,rage, addiction comes between people, distance does as well..i wish my ex would of moved over here, to have someone you love close to you, so you can have dinner together, run errands together, to go to the city together spend sometime together.. the every day companionship is what i want..i NEED someone who will be there no matter what cause my ass falls a lot.i can honestly say i have never cheated on anyone i was in a relationship with.
now would i take anything back? sure lots of it. i have gotten to experience a lot of great things,people and places in the past 5 yrs.

i am lucky enough to have had 3 true loves in my lifetime,2 continue to be rocks in my life no matter what i know i can count on them.

all of these lessons make me who i am, i am learning that shit happens for a reason. what doesn't kill you makes you stronger right? :byebye:

If I could turn back time, so many things I would change. From childhood to adult.
But I can't so I won't even start to think about it.

I only wish the Lesson of " I can not change anyone, I can only change myself. I am not the fixer", would have presented its self sooner in my life.

There are very few major things I would have done differently. I might have talked a little less and listened a little more, definitely. But I don't regret the people I have loved - they helped to shape who I am. And the people I have lost - mostly, they knew how much they meant to me. Yes, I stick my foot in my mouth a lot, but those who love me tend to forgive me.

I think the thing I would have done most differently is stop looking to someone else to guide me and start looking for more answers from within. It opened the door for a lot of people to manipulate me, and I still fall into those habits from time to time. I would have spent less time exploring the submissive side of myself and started exploring the power I have within instead. Rather than looking for someone to control me, perhaps I should have learned to control myself.

If I could turn back time, I would have a harsh talk with myself about my own self-worth. I would tell the younger me that I am fully deserving of all good things, and I would refuse to accept the way I allowed a lot of people treat me over the course of my lifetime, particularly when I was very young.

The last few years have been pretty phenomenal - they have forced me to grow and learn a lot about myself, some of it I needed, but didn't want, to know. I have actively made sure the people in my life, be they friend or lover (or some mix of both), were good people, to the core of their being. These people will never know the value of their companionship - they collectively have helped me to feel worthwhile for the first time in my life. With their help, I will not repeat the mistakes of my past. I will spend the next 30 years making up for the last 30, and I'll be good to myself. :)

But after all that, I thought of one decision I would totally take back.... I would have never bought that Chevy Aveo!

i would have not made major financial decisions after Katrina.

As I'm reading these posts, one thing seems to stand out for me. I would have given myself more credit and more self worth.
I think that was the one thing that really controls much of it, was that I didn't give myself enough worth. I would have gone to school and done better for myself. If I had given myself the strength within, I wouldn't have taken the abuse that I did. I would have kicked the asshole to the ground.

I would have to say that changing my eating habits would have been a good choice and my spending habits too.

But I think the one biggest thing that I would change in the past is that I would have listened to my kids more. It's not that I didn't appreciate them, but that being a single mom (my exhusband and I worked opposite shifts) made it difficult to get the rest that I needed to give that energy. I should have gotten them out and exercising. It would have made for a better emotional connection between my kids and my connection with them.
And I would have done far more family trips. Even small trips count.

I'd have paid a lot more attention to family recipes and the importance of buying a house with a large kitchen.

I would of rounded up the minutes into something a little more odd.