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"You were looking good from afar.. now you’re far from looking good."
"Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence." "Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian, any more than standing in a garage makes you a car." "I’m impressed, I’ve never met such a small mind inside such a big head before." |
I'm not ignoring you, I am simply giving you time to reflect on what a idiot you are being
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I can name 6 great kings who have brought people immense happiness..... DRIN-KING..... ..FUC-KING.... . LIC-KING.....SUC-KING.... SPAN-KING...&. .. WAN-KING!!!
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Feeling a bit Snarky today
Looks like your 5 squares short of a Bingo
Gas, Ass or Grass no one rides for free Don't write a check with your mouth, that your ass can't cover |
Oh look a thread made just for me......
because.... When I check out, if spent shell casings aren't littered around my feet, I didn't check out right.
We have more to fear from the bungling of the incompetent than from the machinations of the wicked. :jester: Every cloud has a silver lining (except for the mushroom shaped ones, which have a lining of Iridium & Strontium 90). Get your mind out of the gutter - it's blocking my view. Wine is the answer. I don't remember the question. If you can't say anything nice, then at least have the decency to be vague. |
Sometimes, you just have to choose between a sarcastic smile or a middle finger. Today, I choose both! At the same time!
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Why yes...... yes I do piss glitter and shit rainbows. Thanks for asking!
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Thanks for the laugh
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You would look so much better with some duct tape over your mouth...
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According to WebMD, my symptoms mean I died 3 years ago
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Here, put these floaties on your ankles ..
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On a conference call yesterday...
Moderator to new caller: So how's the world treating you? Caller: The world's been great...some of the people on it are pissing me off though. |
I stop my car so you can walk across the street, I better see some hustle out of you! Knees to chest dammit! KNEES TO CHEST!
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My life is so exciting I could shit pink Twinkies...
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Out of all the dinosaurs in the world to go extinct, Barney HAD to be the last one?
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Because I am sweetness & light.... http://i130.photobucket.com/albums/p...ic/sarcasm.jpg Merry Hanukkah, Diwali, Kwanzaa & Christmas. |
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. Were you saying anything I needed to respond to? |
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"When one door closes another one opens", what sounds like optimism to most people, sounds like Maximum security to me...
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"If us poor slobs can't stick together and help each other, then we ain't worth the gun powder to blow our brains out."- (My General)-Granny
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So! Which one of you is the mother?
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» Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.
- Ashleigh Brilliant ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ » I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here - Stephen Bishop |
~~A dress makes no sense unless it inspires butches to want to take it off you.
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• A girl's legs are her best friends...but even the best of friends must part.
-Redd Foxx OK, I'll stop now:) |
There's nothing better than sitting on the couch in your underwear. I'm going to enjoy this until the department store security guys show up.
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~A pessimist is a butch who thinks all women are bad~
~An optimist is a butch who hopes that they are~ *snicker* |
I was going to give you a nasty look, but I see you already have one.
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I'm multi-talented: I can talk and piss you off at the same time
Honesty is the best policy but insanity is the best defense. A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort. Love your enemies.. it pisses them off. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me. |
You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, smarter than you think, and loved more than you know...
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If you ever need an outfit to match that stick up your ass, give me a call.
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Were you high on crack or something when you bought that outfit?
Why Babydoll, where did you get those shoes, do you need a foot transplant? |
"An over-inflated ego wrapped in an undeserved sense of entitlement earns a first class ticket to the back of the queue."
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Take your life in your own hands and what happens? A terrible thing: no one to blame.
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• Brevity is the soul of lingerie
• Heterosexuality is not normal, it's just common • She runs the gamut of emotions from A to B • I like to have a martini, Two at the very most. After three I'm under the table, after four I'm under my hostess Quotes are from Dorothy Parker, a founder of the Algonquin Round Table and was known for her brainy, verbal wit and satire (my apologies to dearly-departed Dorothy for changing host to hostess) |
Be careful of bull sharks, they swim in shallow water. Be careful of bullshit too, it swims in shallow people
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It's always an awkward moment when you are standing around in your superhero costume waiting for crime to happen..
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Sex is like mud boggin... the deeper you go the wilder it gets!
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