Because for years you've let them "walk" all over you!

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

Home Run for Santa!!!
 

Naturally, it has always been Santa Claus.

Santa is the undefeated champion in all the world. :blush:

Because of this fact alone, bread is second only to Santa Claus. *LOL* :eyebat:

:awww:

Where is the stupid question?

If 55 is "fifty-five" and 44 is "forty-four," shouldn't 11 be "onety-one?"

:canadian:

Yes it should be, blame it on that "new math"!

When a cow laughs really hard why doesn't milk come out of its nose?

*lol*

I have no idea, but maybe the cow is too busy cutting the cheese. :|

Q: Why does it take longer to run from second base to third base than it does to run from first base to second base?

Because the runner ALWAYS stops to get a hot-dog and some peanuts...........

If croutons are stale bread, why do they come in airtight packages?

A) So no water can get in or condensation form inside the package changing the contents back to bread; thereby, causing product liability lawsuits for not being the product identified as being inside said package.



Q) Why are there two different ocean dwelling creatures called "dolphins?" One is a marine mammal and one a fish. One is good eatin', but consumption of the other is politically incorrect unless you're shipwrecked.

......:deepthoughts:.. I may have to consult with Chad on this!

Dolphin is a common name. The scientific classification for the fish is Coryphaena a genus of marine ray-finned fishes known as the dolphinfishes. That may be the reason it is commonly called Dolphin also known as Mahi-mahi. The fish is delicious food but the mammal is not. Keep your blow hole off my plate! Haha!

Question: What should your air conditioner temperature be set at inside the house when it is 100 degrees outside?

Well I would have to say the answer all depends if you're alone or have someone in the house with you! If you have someone with you, that's twice the body heat where as if you're all alone it's just one's body heat!

To be on the safe side, I'd set the temperature right around 65 and hope for the best.....

Why is there a light in the refrigerator but not in the freezer?

Because the frozen black-eyed peas, with their 20-20 vision, don't need any light to see.

Did dinosaurs buy fossil fuel by the gallon or liter?

I think this is a trick question......dinosaurs had no money

If all the worlds a stage, why isn't everyone an actor or actress?

We MAY be inferior BUT we're damn CUTE:hangloose:

The seamstress was WAY pass due for an eye examination when she completed that garment.....come to find out, she was suffering from DOUBLE VISION :seeingstars:

I could make up some BS about the velocity at which matter exits the atmosphere and reaches earth BUT the truth is ......

Rain is a femme and Snow is masculine

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Because shirts love to converse with socks, that also are placed in the suitcase, about what happens to the other mate when they go thru the dryer...


If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

Well no doubt its still a people trap but now the mouse has retired and is living a life of luxury and in cheese up to his ears........

At a movie theater which arm rest is yours?

A: oh Dear :blush: ... your arm is the arm to rest upon. :eyebat:

Q: why is it that a really good book called a 'page turner' ??? :giggle:

You get a message on your iphone from Office Depost........

What disease did cured ham actually have?

Yes and the SWAT team is called in.............

Why does round pizza come in a square box?

No, we don't want them to get a big head.........

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ?

No...........

Why is it when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Momentary Sunday Derail....
 

Why is a fire truck red?

"Because they have eight wheels and four people on them, and four plus eight is twelve. And there are twelve inches in a foot, and one foot is a ruler. And Queen Elizabeth was a ruler, and Queen Elizabeth was also a ship. And the ship sailed across the seas. And, in the seas are fish, and fish have fins. And the Finns fought the Russians, and the Russians are red. And fire trucks are always "russian" around (according to the Monty Pythonesque application of principles of logic and etymology)."

-----☆-----☆-----☆-----☆-----☆-----☆-----☆-----

The random "stupid" question above is provided courtesy of my bff's daughter who got the comical "stupid answer" by asking S-voice, an application available on most smart phones, about the color of fire trucks. :)

Maybe for similar reason that,,,, if someone would bad breath might recoil and seek fresh air???

Why do lifeguards perform mouth to mouth instead of face to face??? :giggle:

...............:deepthoughts:....

Oh, it might have something to do with the notion of the antiquated idiom which suffers from the idea of .... "Finder's, Keeper's." Not that anything was ever lost or undiscovered.

Why are soda malts topped with cherries???

By spending time at the soda fountain, you can imagine her giving you her cherry. Was done as a tease and advertising ploy.

Why did teens always go parking in a place where it would be easy to have the car plunge to great depths if the occupants weren't careful?

The liked living on the 'edge' pun intended..............


Why do rich people get to be labeled eccentric, but poor people crazy?

I'm still trying to figure out what the hell a soda malt is! I've heard of a ice cream soda float and I know what malts are as well as shakes but what pray tell is a soda malt:|