~~~Chasing paper...:greendollar:

I have an application in through the city for a good job and it is one of those that you have to jump through hoops to get. I have to "self schedule" the next step and nothing is showing up on my application yet to do so. I can't help but sit here and bight my nails in fear I checked a box wrong here or didn't check a box there. Whether they will ever tell me if I checked a box wrong here or didn't check a box there. Or if the fact we got a little "inclement weather" and the human resources person down town just didn't show up for work today to post the scheduling or something. I hate that my life is kind of balancing on wether I get this job or not (even though @ will tell me it's not) and just waiting. Or that the wrongs in my past will for ever interfere with my future. ugh.

OK so I just checked on my application status and it let me "jump through the next hoop" and schedule the next step.

OMG I need a drink...

I so relate-the only thing the same in my life from the last two years is that I survived the changes clean and sober.
Everything else has been rearranged, changed and lost but I guess the good part is the deep amazing lessons that i suppose could not come any other way

Its really insane. Hang in there-

Is not what's on my mind; its what isn't...........

Knowing that good things lie ahead for me and my health.

in my mind..
 

plainand simple she is..just her...

What is on my mind right now is money. I hate that stuff. You have to have it for rent, electricity, water, garbage pick up, food, clothing, heat, a vehicle, gas for the vehicle... All of these things I just can't live without. I don't mind not having a lot... I am perfectly content actually without most things... but why is everything I HAVE to have becoming SO DARN EXPENSIVE...

every day on facebook I see so many wonderful animals up for adoption or ready to be destroyed. It breaks my heart. Last week I gave 100.00 to help move a dog from a kill shelter to a rescue knowing that she was older and may spend the rest of her life in that shelter or worse. I'm so fucking sick of the irresponsibility of humans. The idiot who decides its ok to go get a puppy with a new relationship and then they break up and the dog goes to the pound. So sick of the puppy seekers and assholes who give a dog up because they move or use the fucking excuse "I just don't have time." Well you should have thought about that when you took a living thing into your life.

I am heartbroken lately over the vast amount of neglect I see towards animals. I wish I would win the lotto because i'd damn sure take a major chunk out of this stupid shit.

The tears I have cried tonight. For what? I don't know. I wish I had the answer to that. Nerves? Being tired? Wishing? I don't know if I can cry anymore tonight. I will make a pot of tea and wait for this to pass.

sorry your hurting..:(

Thanks. I don't know what this is. I don't want to sound cliche and say cramps but I am thinking there's just a lot coming out tonight, a change in energy. I am hoping it's a cleanse because this came out of nowhere. I will be alright, I just need to allow myself to come back together.

you can sound anyway you like- if you hurt you hurt the cause is irrelevant
shifting in energy is always hard - I wish you the best at coming back to your center

I keep going further and further into myself and pulling out things that I didn't know were sitting there. My temper may also be flaring and it's probably completely invalid as to why.

I have a lot in my head but at the same time I am fluttering with relaxing energy. All good things! There are some good people in there too ;)