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-   Fine Wine: Folks Over 50 (http://www.butchfemmeplanet.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=88)
-   -   What do you feel "too old" for? (http://www.butchfemmeplanet.com/forum/showthread.php?t=3692)

TheDreadPirateRoberts 01-05-2012 02:46 PM

drama....everyone has it...but im not going to sink to an immature level....ill just remove it from my life

tapu 01-05-2012 03:43 PM

Yeah. Pass the scalpel.

Honey 01-05-2012 03:45 PM

Dating the twenty something's...Its like Relationship 101...Uggh !!!!

theblueone 01-05-2012 03:57 PM

relationship 101? Or you just can't keep up with them?

SweetJane 01-05-2012 04:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AtLast (Post 498655)
I know, Greyson- maybe we need a definition of dating thread!

It's a regional thing, I think, and maybe a sign of the times. People don't date like they did when I was young. When my daughter was a teenager in ND, you were a slut if you dated. You had to "go with" someone, one at a time. I just thought that would lead to trouble....and it probably did. Her cousin in Cali who was her same age did date like I did as a young woman.

I dated several at a time, and it was interesting getting to know each one. It helps sort out what you want in a relationship. And, when you're young, it helps you learn how to behave with someone.

Now that I'm in this community, I'd like to date more for that very reason, to get to know other people and to explore what relating is about.

AtLast 01-06-2012 07:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SweetJane (Post 498750)
It's a regional thing, I think, and maybe a sign of the times. People don't date like they did when I was young. When my daughter was a teenager in ND, you were a slut if you dated. You had to "go with" someone, one at a time. I just thought that would lead to trouble....and it probably did. Her cousin in Cali who was her same age did date like I did as a young woman.

I dated several at a time, and it was interesting getting to know each one. It helps sort out what you want in a relationship. And, when you're young, it helps you learn how to behave with someone.

Now that I'm in this community, I'd like to date more for that very reason, to get to know other people and to explore what relating is about.

I agree- and getting to know someone is important. I guess since I have spent 27 years "relating," and am now 60, I think I get relating (and am quite relational). I also think that in my age cohort (and I don't date much younger or much older women), it is also more limited- but I also find that there are many other things I want to do other than date with my time. And I honestly do like getting to know someone on many levels which, for me, takes time as well as experiencing how things go through the curve life throws me and what may be a major event in the life of who I am dating.

When I was young, the "going together" thing was more true also when I was heterosexual. This changed after realizing that my heart and soul was at peace with a woman. Although, by age 30, I wanted a monogamous "marriage." Prior to that I went through poly relationships and was also bisexual. I was rather experimental, now that I think about it.

Aging has also brough more of a need to savor what I am experiencing- the "the less time you have, the more you don't want to waste" phenomenon, I believe. So many things that I used to be able to cope with and compromise about, I just want to anymore. The "need" for a relationship/marriage has transformed into being about what I "desire and want" really.

I really enjoy dates full of conversation in which I feel listened to and want to return this to my date. Being able to laugh easily with someone I am dating is important as well as both of us not being afraid to let our faults show. We all have them- might as well get them out there and see if any are non-negotiables. And of course, I get anxious about all of this because I don't date anyone that I don't have a romantic and yes, physical "tug" for. Who likes rejection! But, it is part of life. Have to deal with it.

I also think that so much changes with aging and losing someone via death- a partner and also several loved ones.

Gemme 01-07-2012 10:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Honey (Post 498728)
Dating the twenty something's...Its like Relationship 101...Uggh !!!!

Quote:

Originally Posted by theblueone (Post 498736)
relationship 101? Or you just can't keep up with them?

I am certainly not Honey and can't speak for her, but I do know what it's like to date someone that's several years one's junior.

It's going through the same growth and crises and angst that you went through years ago but through your partner's eyes.

And it's freakin' draining.

I'm no one's trainer in my personal relationships. If they aren't where I am psychologically and emotionally and in general, then they are not with me.

P.S.~ Your question to her sounded a bit personal and catty to me. Just an observation.

AtLast 01-08-2012 12:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gemme (Post 500162)
I am certainly not Honey and can't speak for her, but I do know what it's like to date someone that's several years one's junior.

It's going through the same growth and crises and angst that you went through years ago but through your partner's eyes.

And it's freakin' draining.

I'm no one's trainer in my personal relationships. If they aren't where I am psychologically and emotionally and in general, then they are not with me.

P.S.~ Your question to her sounded a bit personal and catty to me. Just an observation.

What I bolded is one of the clearest statements about going through this situation I have ever read. And why more often than not (there are exceptions, but I always wonder about the developmental age of the more senior member in these), a large age difference doesn't work.

I also agree with your observation about some cattiness to the question and that it was a personal shot. I could be wrong- don't know either party, but keeping the personal out of the forums/threads is really appreciated.

RockOn 01-08-2012 12:54 AM

Contact sports. I do not think my nose could take another breaking or another deviated septum surgery.

Kenna 01-08-2012 05:36 AM

I am learning that I can no longer move furniture or lift appliances or do most kinds of tough work like I used to without "feeling the burn " for days. My muscles seem to produce too much of that "after exercise " acid that my old, Lupus ridden body can't process and flush out correctly. I really miss my younger, VERY ACTIVE, VERY STRONG, able years and body. I miss muscles that work and kidneys that process toxins correctly. BUT.... none of what I feel today can take away my feeling of accomplishment and contentment from yesterday. I feel good emotionally even if the old body can no longer keep up.

jac 01-08-2012 05:42 AM

I really don't feel too old for anything, but my body totally doesn't agree with my mind when I'm on my knees! *smirk*

morningstar55 01-08-2012 08:34 AM

................... nothing..................
* eg*


ok wait i take that back... anyone under 25 is way to young but anyone above that is fair game...
wait .... i cant believe im saying that... lol

dark_crystal 01-08-2012 08:36 AM

moving my own crap. or asking my friends and family to help me move my crap.

i hire guys* to do that

* not trying to be sexist. it's literally always guys

Gemme 01-08-2012 09:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dark_crystal (Post 500287)
moving my own crap. or asking my friends and family to help me move my crap.

i hire guys* to do that

* not trying to be sexist. it's literally always guys

They have more upper body strength. That's just physics. Now, if you needed someone for a purpose that required a lower center of gravity....dancing can, for example....females have that in the bag.

msW8ing 03-15-2012 11:36 AM

Dating two Butches at once..it's exhausting..but oh soooooooooo much fun. This dating without promises is something i should have done in my 30's lmao

Amber2010 03-15-2012 11:47 AM

I can not longer keep working when I get sick. I use to work right through it and just deal. Now I am so tired and can't keep my eyes open all day or even sit at a computer or talk on a phone. Yikes it stinks getting older sometimes. LOL

kittygrrl 03-15-2012 04:17 PM

at the moment..
 
bullshit..........and all that, that implies

deb_U_taunt 03-16-2012 08:43 PM

I am too old to be naive enough to believe that 'just a drink at your place ' really is 'just a drink at your place'.

I am too old to be in a relationship that would deserve the facebook status 'it's complicated'.

I am too old to believe you only get to love once.

wetfromashower 03-29-2012 11:42 PM

Too Old For....
 
Mind Games...

~ocean 03-30-2012 12:58 AM

i'm too old to wait while someone who chases their own tail.
i'm too old for someone not to understand.. knowing..
i'm too old to be with someone that is a young soul
i'm too old to be treated insignificant.


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