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no idea what this thread is about because I am about to go out for break but I love my curves....and all of yours too. xoxo
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Camryn Manheim. If you havent read her book "Wake Up, I'm Fat" you should. Great book funny as heck. She talks about what she went through because of her size in Hollywood etc very candid
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I really like this thread. I am all for celebration of, and acceptance of self....no matter what shape or size. And its good to see lots of folks with healthy body images who don't feel the need to conform to society's idea that beauty only comes in a size 2.
There are a few posts that are kinda troubling me though....and maybe its none of my business (but when has that ever kept my mouth shut before? lol) I read a post by Ol' Jet...and I found it very sad. The end of a relationship is never easy...and that ending sounded particularly painful. There is one thing I have to say though...there seems to be a rush of judgement about how Jet conducted himself. That the woman he was seeing ended the relationship because of how he felt, or how he couldn't "accept" her. I know neither party involved, and I have no idea why the relationship ended...however, I read the post as him telling his side of it in hindsight. We have no idea what the woman felt, or did not feel. From what I read, this person was, at best, dishonest. I am not a small girl, and as a mother and a 42-year-old I will never again look the way I did at 21 (nor would I want to really), but I have never lied about how I look, or what size I wear. How can you build a relationship based on a lie? Look, no matter what we say, relationships are usually begun based on attraction. And no matter what kind of intellectual, or emotional attachment one feels for another....if there is no physical attraction, then the relationship will not really get off the ground. Who knows if the relationship discussed in the post would have started or lasted had the woman been honest from the beginning....the point is, she wasn't. And, from what I read, despite the initial reaction...he wanted it to work because of the person he believed she was. I really don't see the fault in that. And, no matter why the relationship ended....I think any human being deserves to be told in person that their relationship is over. Email just doesn't cut it. I also find the circumstances a little odd....the woman disappears and then sends an email saying that they don't "fit". Come on...I just think that's wrong. Whatever the reason that it ended, he at least deserved to be told to his face. That's just a matter of respect. Sigh....ok...off the soapbox. I'm tired and probably not making much sense anyway. G'night thread. |
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However, I see your point that, even though it's a good thing (above), our viewpoint of what is and is not obese or normal or plus-size is very distorted. I'm not someone who may be 'qualified' per se to discuss my personal body issues here (though I LOVED what June said about body issues coming in all sizes), but those who are struggling, please know that, no matter what you see around you, you are not alone. |
Ok...so maybe "dishonest" is a little harsh. Maybe misrepresentation is a better word.
I just think that if you are going to take the time to send a picture...and describe yourself to someone differently then you actually appear..then there are other issues going on. As you said, it shouldn't matter....so why hide it? Let it all hang out and let the chips fall where they may...that's my policy. If someone doesn't like the way I look, or judges me based on my size, hair color, etc...then good for em. Less of my time wasted. psst...by the way...I've seen a pic of your wife...and I think she is beautiful! :) |
Loved this thought I would share!
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hi Gemme-a-roo! i think Whitney is drop dead gorgeous! i should be so plus sized! i'm glad that she won ANTM at a size 10 but i hate that she's called a "plus sized model" when she's 2 sizes smaller than the average american woman (who is typically a size 14. (i hear 12 to 14 is the median). the words posted under her photo arent mine. (hence the quotes) having worked in high end fashion i've watched the sizes assigned to women's clothing fluctuate into something almost unrecognizable. some time in the early tomid-90s the fit standard we were used to downsized...in other words a size 12 became a size 10, a size 6 became a size 4 and etc. the sizing shift didnt take place globally by any means. so if you're a size 8 in the US you may not be a size 8 elsewhere. there is no single standard for women's clothing. men's clothing has something close to stability with regard to sizing because much of what they wear is based on waist and chest size in inches (in the US anyway) and sized that way (i.e.: jeans come in waist/length denominations like 36/34 and so on, jackets & suits are measured and/or tailored based on actual measurements rather than on random numbers like "size 8"). ~~~~~~~~~ on other fronts....why fat? why is THAT so important? it's the same as having brown hair. or being short. or whatever. it's superficial. it has absolutely nothing to do with the worth of a person any more than gender, race, culture of origin, sexuality has. so what's the scoop? are we so pathetic a species that we feel better about dragging others down in order to pull ourselves up than we do about tending to the cultivation of our own characters and leaving that of others alone? really? :hippie: |
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Of course, this is a generalization and I realize that there are completely respectable people out there who don't make a practice out of putting others down or stepping onto the bent backs of others, but damn near everyone I know.....myself included....has done that to someone at least once. We may have thought it was justified at the time or maybe just didn't care, but that is how many function on a regular basis. How they evaluate themselves is based solely on their place in the hierarchy of wherever they are...work, home, church (the irony, right?)...and the appearance of someone who doesn't fit in that individual's world just so sticks out and attracts their negative attention like blood in the water for sharks. That person may be brilliant (a heart surgeon, maybe) or honorable (Purple Heart recipient, perhaps) or beautiful (Miss USA, 1989, possibly) but if that person is super curvy, then that is all they see. So many people don't see past the exterior. Or maybe it's that they see a reflection of themself somehow and attack the other person because of their self-loathing in a twisted effort to eliminate or shrink whatever it is about them that they hate....or maybe I need to put down the psych book and stop thinking about what's in someone else's head. *shrug* |
Jack,
You are one very lucky guy to have Medusa for a wife! :tease: I am a very heavy guy. I used to be very thin, but I took steroids for a couple of years for pneum. and bronch., and the after effects of that. I gained all my weight then. I was always called fat. I know how demeaning it is. I know what it's like to be pointed at in public, or staired at. Not only am I fat, but a ftm and I'm slow, and it is very obvious to the public. Society sucks when it comes to weight issues. So does the medical community. Personally, I like women with curves. They rock my world! :boxers: :cheer: :devil: |
becuase I'm (Ph)at (Ph)abulous and Phenomenal......
Phenomenal Woman ~Maya Angelou~ Pretty women wonder where my secret lies. I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size But when I start to tell them, They think I'm telling lies. I say, It's in the reach of my arms The span of my hips, The stride of my step, The curl of my lips. I'm a woman Phenomenally. Phenomenal woman, That's me. I walk into a room Just as cool as you please, And to a man, The fellows stand or Fall down on their knees. Then they swarm around me, A hive of honey bees. I say, It's the fire in my eyes, And the flash of my teeth, The swing in my waist, And the joy in my feet. I'm a woman Phenomenally. Phenomenal woman, That's me. Men themselves have wondered What they see in me. They try so much But they can't touch My inner mystery. When I try to show them They say they still can't see. I say, It's in the arch of my back, The sun of my smile, The ride of my breasts, The grace of my style. I'm a woman Phenomenally. Phenomenal woman, That's me. Now you understand Just why my head's not bowed. I don't shout or jump about Or have to talk real loud. When you see me passing It ought to make you proud. I say, It's in the click of my heels, The bend of my hair, the palm of my hand, The need of my care, 'Cause I'm a woman Phenomenally. Phenomenal woman, That's me. :bowdown: Peace and Love :sparklyheart: |
PREACH!
Every time I read this poem, I hear it being read back to me in Janet Jackson's voice in my head from the time I saw the movie "Poetic Justice". :) One of my favorites! |
I just came in tonight to show My love for bigger women :)
To all the beautiful BBW ladies that rawk our world, thank you for simply being you :rose: |
I just have a couple of disparate thoughts after reading the thread and looking at some others, too.
1. This discussion is, for me, about self-image and self-validation. Someone who is "only" ten or twenty pounds overweight (or pick a number) shouldn't be maligned or dismissed for seeing themselves in this discussion. I don't think it's really about a number, per se, as much as a broader discussion of self-perception and how that affects how we are seen in the world. At 5'ish tall, I'd personally be quite pleased to be in a size 12, even though that would likely mean that, by all accounts, I'd still be significantly overweight. How big does big have to be to qualify to be able to relate to feeling self-hatred and experiencing the derision of others? 2. I haven't quite reconciled these two beliefs: -We should not be criticized for having sexual and romantic preferences. Attraction is a personal thing and I have no right to judge others as I believe they have no business judging me. -The inability or unwillingness to view me for who I am, not what I look like, is hateful and unacceptable. 3. As much as I think (in my brain) that it's very nice that some butches are posting things about how wonderful big femmes are, my guts tend to churn. Not sure why. Maybe something to do with the idea that this reinforces the idea that women are supposed to be shored up from the outside, by the validation and acceptance of others, rather than learning how to do this for themselves, from the inside out. I'd rather be engaged in an intelligent discussion about something I share with another person than to be told, kind of wholesale, that I am one of the rockin' big, beautiful women. Sorry. It makes me go "ewww," which I own as my problem. |
To come back to what I said in an earlier post:
It was not my intention to hurt anyone's feelings, and if I did, I apologize. It not easy for me to express my feelings and to write what I really mean, what I actually want to say sometimes and it comes to misunderstandings and hurt feelings. I should have taken the time to explain, but I didn't, I felt intimidated instead. From the reactions, I have learned to be either more precise in choosing my words or not say anything at all. A few last words: Personality, is what counts for me, what makes me feel attracted to that person, and it has nothing to do with size. I think it's sad, how people in general, automatically put over size woman in a 'box', meaning because they're fat (I really don't like that word) they don't have anything much / else to 'offer' either. Kat |
Hello My Friends!
I am just dropping by to give my love and support to all the BBW here! You ladies rock my world! :bunchflowers: :bouquet:
:gimmehug: Andrew :bowdown: :pipe: :cigar: :dogwalking: :football: :waterski: |
Help me with this Jack - it may help others too
Jack,
I don't understand why airplanes require you to buy 2 seats. I just don't understand this at all. But yet they allow you to bring on a small dog/cat in a carrier to put under your seat. I am so confused on this. I always ask for seat extenders. I have yet to be given a positive response by the plane waitress or whatever they call themselves nowadays. It is usually thrown at me or Rosie or whoever is sitting next to me. It is like I am imposing on them. I don't get it. Andrew |
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