Originally Posted by Bootsandheels (Post 435867)

Originally Posted by ScandalAndy (Post 377300)

But how did you know what to expect if not all stone identities encompass the same things? What kind of questions do you ask? Do you ask any questions at all? How could you tell you had addressed their desires, how could they tell they had addressed yours? This may sound dumb, but I'm not sure how to accomplish any of that without at least some dialogue.

Originally Posted by chai~ (Post 473145)

Originally Posted by StoneOne (Post 473214)

if we took a poll how many Stone Butches feel the need to work out at least 5 days a week, can't get enough ink and have more leather then ur local mall.......

Originally Posted by chai~ (Post 473283)

Originally Posted by StoneOne (Post 473287)

Poll via pictures or just yes or no....

Originally Posted by cuddlyfemme (Post 250363)

Originally Posted by Cajun_dee (Post 473892)

Originally Posted by chai~ (Post 474569)

Originally Posted by chrisbutch (Post 474762)

when you mention you are stone...some women just head for the hills....:(

Originally Posted by DapperButch (Post 474779)

But, the alternative is doing/allowing something that doesn't fit for you, right? I say it is much better that a woman be with me if she is stone, as well, not someone who tolerates my stoneness. Ya know?

Originally Posted by CherylNYC (Post 474811)

I wish we all weren't so conditioned to rejection that we're grateful for "someone who tolerates my stoneness". I wish we could all do better than mere tolerance.

Originally Posted by CherylNYC (Post 474811)

I wish we all weren't so conditioned to rejection that we're grateful for "someone who tolerates my stoneness". I wish we could all do better than mere tolerance.

Originally Posted by DapperButch (Post 474779)

But, the alternative is doing/allowing something that doesn't fit for you, right? I say it is much better that a woman be with me if she is stone, as well, not someone who tolerates my stoneness. Ya know?

Originally Posted by cuddlyfemme (Post 475439)

Originally Posted by DapperButch (Post 474779)

But, the alternative is doing/allowing something that doesn't fit for you, right? I say it is much better that a woman be with me if she is stone, as well, not someone who tolerates my stoneness. Ya know?

Originally Posted by LaneyDoll (Post 475579)

Ok, I am curious now. And I want to get a few thoughts on this (please be nice, I am simply curious-not trying to start anything).

I am femme but not stone femme. I have never had a problem with dating a stone butch and have dated more than one. I do not mind that someone identifes as stone and has personal preferences about how/if/where they are touched. I have always been of the mindset that if my needs are met then I am happy; it is actually a good fit because I tend to "crash" if those needs are met well. However, if I am dating someone that enjoys being touched, I am good there too. I think I am flexible based on my partner. I believe that if everything is good out of the bedroom and I get what I need in it, then the rest (ie, their personal choices) is 100% negotiable.

So, I want to know, does this make me seem that I "tolerate" someone's stoneness or does it show that I "accept" it?

:sparklyheart:

Originally Posted by LaneyDoll (Post 475579)

Ok, I am curious now. And I want to get a few thoughts on this (please be nice, I am simply curious-not trying to start anything).

I am femme but not stone femme. I have never had a problem with dating a stone butch and have dated more than one. I do not mind that someone identifes as stone and has personal preferences about how/if/where they are touched. I have always been of the mindset that if my needs are met then I am happy; it is actually a good fit because I tend to "crash" if those needs are met well. However, if I am dating someone that enjoys being touched, I am good there too. I think I am flexible based on my partner. I believe that if everything is good out of the bedroom and I get what I need in it, then the rest (ie, their personal choices) is 100% negotiable.

So, I want to know, does this make me seem that I "tolerate" someone's stoneness or does it show that I "accept" it?

:sparklyheart:

Originally Posted by DapperButch (Post 478221)

Good point. I am glad you asked because it gives me the opportunity to clarify. I think that if someone feels completely satisfied with either a stone or non-stone partner, than acceptance would be a better word.

For me, in thinking about it, if I was with someone who could go either way, I think there would be a part of me that would always wonder if they were getting their needs met...or if they could get their needs met long term.

Granted, I am a "no touch", stone butch. Maybe if I were a "no penetration, but everything else is fine", stone butch, or a "don't touch me up top, but touch me everywhere else", stone butch, I would struggle less with understanding how one could go either way. Get what I am saying? If one enjoys touching/licking/sucking female genitals/breasts, then how could they possibly be able to get all of their sexual needs met without being able to have at least some contact with their partner's breasts/genitals? Is it analogous to the bisexual person who can be satisfied with only dating one sex (rather than the bisexual person who needs to have both sexes in order to be satisfied)?

Interesting subject, thanks for raising it. :)

Originally Posted by cuddlyfemme (Post 230294)

Originally Posted by stone4play (Post 474572)

Let's see... the best way for me to explain <<< this stone butch is that I'm a giver, not a receiver. I totally enjoy the cuddles and the loving and the affection but I have no desire whatsoever to be touched or perceived in a feminizing manner. This means anything below the waist. I get complete and total pleasure when the femme I am with is satisfied. By this I mean, I orgasm when she orgasms. It's the idea... the thought... it's a deep soulful thing to know that I am the one satisfying her needs that completely takes me over the top.
I have been in relationships where I was told that she understood my needs but six months, several years later, they asked for the unaskable. It changed things after that with each of them. I never really felt comfortable after that because I never knew if I would be asked again or if they were really okay with the arrangements we had talked about from the beginning. It's a trust and respect thing. It would be no different for a femme to tell me from the beginning that she does not like the idea of fisting or anal sex and then asking her later in the relationship if I could do that to her. Now if she changed her mind and not by my persuasion... then I would, but only at her request. Hope this helped... :koolaid:

Originally Posted by NIGHTrambler (Post 494313)

___Oh...we stone butches are out there...(single ones) ... just waiting...and searching...for that one femme who will appreciate us for all that we are and can be.... thanks for your post!

Originally Posted by LaneyDoll (Post 475579)

Ok, I am curious now. And I want to get a few thoughts on this (please be nice, I am simply curious-not trying to start anything).

I am femme but not stone femme. I have never had a problem with dating a stone butch and have dated more than one. I do not mind that someone identifes as stone and has personal preferences about how/if/where they are touched. I have always been of the mindset that if my needs are met then I am happy; it is actually a good fit because I tend to "crash" if those needs are met well. However, if I am dating someone that enjoys being touched, I am good there too. I think I am flexible based on my partner. I believe that if everything is good out of the bedroom and I get what I need in it, then the rest (ie, their personal choices) is 100% negotiable.

So, I want to know, does this make me seem that I "tolerate" someone's stoneness or does it show that I "accept" it?

:sparklyheart:

Originally Posted by Converse (Post 230756)

Its interesting that you should write that there is an energy that is particular to Stones- of course I have heard of those who prefer to partner with Stones but I had always considered that a preference for a certain type of dynamic but had never contemplated that there was a “Stone energy”. Elsewhere in an attempt to clarify what is meant by a “feminizing touch” in the context of a Stone I wrote… self fulfillment comes from being externally focused, by that I do not refer to my external self- but to my sexual partner. Being inside her both physically and mentally is where I find my “on” switch.

The musician reaches that other place when hy brings the instrument alive- together each is able to experience their potential- realize what they were made for. I was not made to have another take me in hand; I was made to be with someone who does not simply allow, but wants, needs to surrender. And in that surrender she allows me to be who I truly am.

While some will equate Stone to simply having personal limits, for me it is far more encompassing- Stone isn’t about sex with restrictions, it is about everything- it is how we perceive the world, but more importantly it is about how we relate, understand, communicate, and connect to another.

A Stone Butch is a Stone Butch- regardless if they are partnered- but without the one who “gets it”, they are not a musician, simply a person who knows how to play a musical instrument.