I'm a lonesome polecat
 

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YLcVhPrZFPI"]YouTube- Lonesome Polecat Seven Brides For Seven Brothers OST[/ame]

http://www.xtra.ca/public/National/a...%20Coyote.aspx

I enjoy Ivan Coyote's articles on xtra . com, and this new one about "getting over the ex butch style" was no exception. Anyone else have any sure fire ways for getting over her and getting back out there? Any stories to tell?

see? femmes understand, too!
 

1. get drunk
2. sleep with her bestfriend
3. call her (while you're still drunk) and confess
4. borrow your friend's big truck and drive all over her lawn
5. call her and cry
6. ask to be just friends
7. send her 40 text messages in one day
8. show up where you think she'll be
9. try to become her mom's/sister's/dad's new bestfriend.
10. record yourself singing a sad song and send it to her email
11. send her a dedication on the 'quiet storm'
12. get her name tattooed on your arm and then send her a picture of it
13. kidnap her dog and then help her suddenly, miraculously *find* said dog.
14. if she lives alone, send her a scary letter from anonymous and hope that she'll look to you for comfort
15. bake her a cake and give her a sketch that you've made of her face
16. if you have something that she's gave you, break it and send her the pieces.
17. write, '*her name* is a SLUT' on the side of a building that you know she'll see
18. sleep with her mom
19. sign her up for strange catalogues
20. ice cream

i have this super amazingly long chore list, feel me bros?

-a super butchy dress :farmshotgun:

i have to clean my room! and i have to re-pot a mint that Ez bought me! and i have to do the dishes that i made (cuz i promised i would)!

I'm starting to think it's all in the mindset of how we think and possibly do things? Here's an example:

This morning my lovely Kat had just woken up and we sit in the living room and have coffee and talk, etc. before we start our day. She keeps a box of kleenex on the end table in which I used the last one before she got there this morning. When she went to reach for one, there was just an empty box.

I immediately got up and offered to go to the bathroom to get her some toilet paper to blow her nose with. She corrected me by saying that there were kleenex in the bedroom. I went in there and saw the silver, metal box that holds the kleenex and decided to bring the whole thing. She laughs as I hand it to her and says... 'typical guy'.

I'm confused, I don't know what I've done, what's she talking about? She points out that a femme would have brought another femme 3 or 4 of the tissues through the midair to her. I thinking - 'really, they would have?' To transport the kleenex this way just didn't occur to me. And, I guess the more feminine mind would not have thought to blow their nose on the toilet paper to begin with?

I find the differences amusing.

Here's another example: I decided to help Kat with the laundry yesterday since I'm laundry spastic and figured I fold some towels, couldn't screw up too badly there? We keep them on an open shelf outside the shower and naturally, we have big and smaller ones.

I folded what I thought was all the big ones to put on the bottom of the stack... and then folded the smaller ones... I put them on the shelf - then, a big another big towel popped up from somewhere... I thought about re-arranging all of them to make it correct but since it was a reach and they looked so nice - I didn't want to disturb them... so I put the big towel on top of the smaller ones. It looked pretty precarious, like a tower of towels about to fall... but, I figured I'd be taking a shower soon and take care of that big one on top.

Kat walks into the bathroom today and starts laughing out loud... I say, 'What now?'... I'd already forgotten about it... lol I'm thinking she's lucky that she didn't find all the towels on the floor.

Oh those wacky "ladieeeees"....
 

Need a tissue?
http://toiletpapercovers.com/images/offer4.jpg

thank you for bringing me the whole box--'butch' way! ;)

bake her a cake=========Vote for Pedro

I have been reading this thread and I wanted to mention a previous thread right in the beginning. Ol'Jet you said something about being de- masculinized.. ( forgive me if I am saying it wrong) I noticed quite a few people who felt that that was more or less a male ID'd problem. I wanted to mention , that many years ago I was in a relationship with this woman , ( who first represented herself as a femme but really wasnt ,anyways that's another story ) This woman was something else, the butch- femme dynamic in the relationship pretty much flew outthe window the day I moved in with her. that day, I left my home and friends, traveled over 600 miles,had no sleep for days, unloaded a 18 foot truck full of my stuff and my kids into a garage! plus the whole 9 hour drive in a uhaul ( on my birthday) well I just sat down after all that , and I cried.She walked in the bedroom and looked at me and said ' HOPE YOU KNOW k how much you are turnin me off right now, I dont think Ill ever feel the same about you. Some fuckin butch! If I wanted a femme I would have stayed with my ex.( even though I am female Identified I have felt that pain , maybe not the same way but It was a huge blow for some reason, and i was effected by those words deeply. I was always having to prove my " butchiness" with her .

the relationship was very short lived after that day

It messed with my head a long time after that relationship ended. and for a long time every time I cried, her words would resurface.

now I am who I am, I cry, I laugh , I Burp( alot and very well I might add)

now it seems crazy that I let those words hurt me so much and question my very being.. but I definitely had a different mind set back then.

hope this relates,

always enjoy your posts Ol' Jet!

Stoney

Now, see, I would have brought her the box because I thought that this is what one is supposed to do because it is more sanitary than touching a person's tissues. At least I have always assumed that this is the reason why I have seen people bring other people the whole box instead of just a few. :confused: Plus, how am I to know how many she will need?

However, I will also say that I am pretty certain that I have only ever offered a woman some toilet paper to blow her nose when they have been in my house (I live alone). The reason? I never buy tissues...seems like a waste of money if you have toilet paper! And if someone is crying...I have been known to bring them the whole roll!

those differences are nothing to sneeze at

now see dapper, i keep kleenex on hand for guests—kind of like serving real butter at dinner. i live alone and if some woman fell into my lap crying i'd offer kleenex instead of toilet paper so she wouldn;'t think i was an ass wipe. lol

This is quite funny.

Now do ya not think that I always end up wishing I had real tissues when I see any guest needing one in my home? Yeah, I know, obviously it doesn't impact me enough or I would be sure to have some on hand! I gots to remember this one...

My goodness, next time I'll just use toilet paper to blow my nose and put the towels up myself, huh? It's not about id's, feeling insulted, non-respected or what ever or how to present a box of Kleenex. It's the different way we think/act what amuses us and as some would say, having typical male or female traits which lets us feel more butch or femme.

And the way my GUY and I feel comfortable with this or not, is between us.

Please, excuse me for 'infiltrating' your butch thread. I don't need this...really.

Kat

I don't go into threads that are specifically intended for femme discussion, although sometimes i do read them sometimes. I wouldn't comment about which mascara to use or what kind of purse or high heels they're discussing because it's not relevant to my life. I suppose I could make some smartass comments and ridicule those things just to see my words and try to get a reaction, but it would be a negative reaction.

By the same token, some threads such as this, which says "only another butch would understand", has a title that's a little vague. Maybe it should say "only a MALE *ID'd* BUTCH WOULD UNDERSTAND". Because now there's divisiveness about this type of butch might, and another type of butch might in fact NOT understand.

Then you may get a femme who does a drive-by that is purely designed to ridicule the thread and the people posting in it. That may get picked up by a butch who is not of the "understanding" persuasion, and it can get to be a free-for-all.

Maybe the name of the thread could be changed. Or, maybe people who can't identify with the topic could refrain from commenting and inciting others to continue in that divisive vein. But that's just my opinion, which IT, and 5 dollars, will get you a cafe mocha grande.

Kat, you did not infiltrate. I think have a right to have your say if you feel you are being maligned, in any thread.

I am so sorry you experienced this, Stoney. I don't know what causes some people to flip the switch like this. I will never get it after building up a trust, and thinking there is a very clear understanding about sexual-orientation and IDs. For me, the blow was that someone I loved, and who I never thought would stoop so low, did very much the same thing as we were breaking up. In that moment, it was as though I didn't even know her. Even though I went through this, it hasn't changed who i am. What has changed now is my complete lack of trust in getting involved. I will never—and i mean never—put trust in anyone again. The prospect of going it alone at 53, is not fun. But it is what it is.

i've only been hospitalized a couple of times in a couple of years, and they always give me boxes of tissues to take home (cuz one you touch them, they're yours). I do keep them for special guests. It just wouldn't occur to me to buy boxes of kleenex with special holders and stuff, because i just blow my nose on an old sock or a pair of boxers or whatever's handy. {JUST KIDDING} I use TP. Save the tissues for guests.

I have a female relative who's fairly femme. In her bathroom she has a special designer tissue holder but it's always empty. The holder itself is the decor. Maybe she blows on TP or the old standby, a dirty washrag. LOL.

why's Kat get to come in here and i don't?

i ain't ridiculing nothin'! i was getting in touch with my only-a-butch-would-understand side! u ain't dean thoreau, this ain't your thread to bar me from!

have your dumb thread!

lol.

well you are right about that. i got the general impression by the words she wrote, that somethin had blowed up that shouldn'ta. dean rarely stops by to tends his fires. nobody said you couldn't come in, there isn't a sign that says "NO GURLZ ALOWD" on it. but if you do, just know that some of the butches who don't even understand each other too well, sometimes don't understand the femmes who come drivin-by.

next time i get in touch with my femme side i'll be sure and stop over on one of those femme threads and ... well... see it's just exactly the opposite. if i were to do that, i would be ridiculed for it. so how come it's okay to come in with your butch side, obviously failing to understand? let me expound...

i don't know about the other butches here, whether male id'd or not, who use a shotgun to clean their room. they left that part of my manual out. so either you are doing something wrong, or the rest of us have been using a technique never mentioned before.

do you blow a shell into the pot, and then plant the mint?

which came first -- the women being allowed to drive, or the women being allowed to vote?

ah. that explains everything.

come to think of it, the easiest way to do the dishes is blow them to smithereens and go buy new ones. i might try that myself.

amending section 4, item C, subsection 2a, the manual now reads: shotgun and shells are handy for cleaning room, potting plant, and cleaning dishes.

please circulate in triplicate

I do need to say that some of this stuff can be funny, and even endearing between partners. This is not lost on me at all. I have a sensitivity to gender stereotypes as well as how they get placed upon both butches and femmes, but this doesn't mean I don't get the closeness that comes from our personal interactions and processes.

I know I can get as upset with stereotypes of men/males as much as with female/women and that goes for the horrible assumptions I see about my male-identified, trans/FtM/MtF/IG brothers & sisters along with what female-identified butches get thrown at them (us). Sometimes when I see it in our own (all of us) space, it just makes me mad. There is so much of it in the real-time world for each and every one of us on countless levels.

I do want to make certain that my previous comments were not really about identifications here, but simply stereotypes of men and masculinity which I actually don't like being thrown at non-female-identified butches as much as men/males of every part of our diverse (and proud) community of butches.

:seconddoh:

I agree, and disagree, and agree all over again. The topic was never well defined, the OP started on a rocky road and it's never come up right again. Because I couldn't even find it after it fell to the bottom of the nether-pit, I thought it had been, um "archived" and no longer accessible. I'm not here every day, don't see it and so this is the first to catch my eye again. And the first page I looked at was the last, which was a veritable stew with every ingredient available thrown in.

Now I find myself posting purely as humorously as possible, because it's gone beyond any point of intention. It is an equal-opportunity-offending thread, so it will be a long way before it ever redeems itself (if it ever does).

What I object to is when someone gets hurt. Butch OR femme. Because what one considers light banter, another may take very personally. So I sit and wait to see if anyone is going to say anything about the latest turn, but no one does. So i open my fool fingers, and bam, i'm in the thick of something I don't want any part of. I am pretty adept at discerning those who can take a little ribbing, like Ezee and pretty, and others who do not take it so well. I try not to be an equal opportunity offender, and I don't get offended that easily either unless you are truly trying to shank me.

Interesting. See, I didn't think about it being a butch thread either, I just chuckled at Kam's experience with hyes partner and thought about how I, as a person (not as a butch) also handed the whole box to people. And then I was chuckling at the fact that I (as a person), never have tissues to begin with.

I very much doubt that if there was a poll regarding how a butch vs. how a femme hands tissues to a person that we would see a trend one way or the other.

I get what you are saying about how the start of the thread went...I was working from the current topic where I didn't see any stereotyping (I really wasn't thinking about what happened prior to Kam's post, since the bulk of the thread was back in December).

Anyway...that was what was happening inside me during the time I chose to post...

ETA: It makes more sense to me now why people were reacting. I was confused at first. I had forgotten where the thread had started and how it had impacted people...

Maybe laaaaaaadieeeezzzzzz buy tissues 'cuz they ain't got no sleeves on their purdy dresses and such?


Dylan...doesn't put nails in the wall with the heels of shoes

the gun's an extension of my masculinity ;) :farmshotgun:

truthfully, i used the gun b/c my indifference to gun-ownership drives EZ crazy, plus it's there and i like the subversive little icons, i wish there was a purse-size pistol, but what can you do.

we're bros-4-ever, now--your response to me cracked me up.

(maybe i spoke too soon, EZ is questioning my need for a bro, bro) :P

hahaha well yep bro i guess so i needed another brother anyway, the only one i got speaks only to me through his spokesperson. you at least dialog direct. maybe ezee could be YOUR spokesperson then i'd have two bro's with spokespeople.

as long as you're here, got any special butch laundry tips? please don't pull out the scissors tool, or a gun, can't afford a new wardrobe.

I do have one...

I am always at a loss when a woman I am seeing wants to know what the attire is for the date. Once, I just described what I was going to wear and she emailed me back and siad - So, what does your wearing a Superman tie tell me? Do you want me to wear something I can fly around on your shoulders in? Or, bring a typewriter? Signed, Lois

:cheesy:

1. don't use too much soap! separate lights and darks and wash whites in their own load with a small amount of bleach. please never wash a white with a dark. (this is something that *some* of us have trouble remembering/caring about)

2. if you have something you want to stay nice, wash it on the gentle cycle and use a gentle soap like woolite. you can either let it dry for a couple of minutes on low and then take it out and air dry it or you can skip the dryer altogether and let it air dry--this will save the fabric feel and color. (this is also good if you have a pair of tighter jeans, you can wash them and stretch them while they're damp and let air dry)

3. iron with a spray bottle of water, if it's a cotton shirt do the front and collar last--it won't re-wrinkle as you manipulate the fabric around the ironing board.

4. iron wool pants on the coolest setting (the iron-setting) between trips to the dry cleaner--and turned inside-out will be more kind to the fabric, too--but experts say that using a pressing cloth between the iron and the fabric to avoid those horrible shiny-iron-marks example: http://www.sewingplace.com/browsepro...ess-Cloth.HTML

5. also, i avoid washing towels of any sort (rugs, too) with anything that i'll be wearing--those little bits of fuzz never seem to come off the clothes and it's one of those things that just bug me (additionally, i like to buy only white towels/sheets so i can, like a hotel, bleach them all to super white when they get a little dirty). what's nicer than a crisp white cotton 500+ thread count sheet set? not much i say.

lastly, wash nicer things in cold, blacks will stay black in cold... i get a little weird about faded blacks/blacks that don't match.

*now i may lose my bro card!

LOL She sounds great!

I use cotton handkerchiefs. Always keep a clean extra in my back pocket in case someone is in need.

excellent. i like your film noire style