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Feelin' this one today
"Don't fuck with me, fellas! This ain't my first time at the rodeo."
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I hate it when strangers say "I don't bite"..... cause the first thing I think when I meet a person is HOLY SHIT the bitch is gonna bite me! :seconddoh:
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Hey, the thought of a Prison daddy is a big redeeming factor for me if I ever have to go-just sayin' :) |
The number of ways I could care less is astounding!
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some people are plugged in but the switch just isn't turned on
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Is practicing being positive today. For example, I'm Positive you're F*king stupid. See it's working..
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I enjoy a glass of red wine each night for its health benefits. The other glasses are for my exceptionally witty comebacks, sarcasm, and flawless dance moves.
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You're never too old to learn something stupid.
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Sorry! I Can Only Please One Person Per Day Today Is Not Your Day Tomorrow Isn't Looking Too Good Either! |
oooohhh, the handles on the mattress are to MOVE it!! I have been totally misusing them this whole time!
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I hear somebody screaming for help... Apparently my trunk is not sound proof.
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A week ago, I really hated people...today I just found out I was cooking them wrong !
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Have you ever taken a second look at your ex and thought quietly to yourself, "Was I drunk our entire relationship??"
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OMG! Did you hear that? It was the sound of me not caring!
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I used to think you took my breath away...
then I realized I was just suffocated by your bullshit. |
Let's share........ You'll take the grenade, I'll take the pin
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Ever get the feeling somebody doesnt like you? wonder if they get the feeling you dont care?
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Age truly doesn't matter. Maturity, however, does.
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Before diagnosing yourself with depression or low self esteem...
look around to confirm that you are not, in fact, merely surrounded by assholes. |
No darling, I don't think insanity runs in your family.
I think it strolls through, and takes time to get to know everyone personally. |
*looking away and listening keenly, whispering* ...I hear stupid people...
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I don't have 'pet' peeves,
I have entire kennels of irritation. |
I hate when cashiers ask "Is that everything?" - Uh no, I'd also like all this invisible shit..
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OOC : scorpio side
OK, I am usually all flowery and stuff, but I just have to say : sometimes this IS the right response!!! ain't that some shit??? |
" I will take 'Same Shit / Different Day' category for $200.00, Alex."
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Saw a sign at a fire station and it says "If we can't see your address, how can we find you?" WTF! Hello? Just look for the smoke
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Bought my ex a chair....... but the state won't let me plug it in.
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From a bumper sticker that SNH saw:
"I'm one bad relationship away from having 40 cats." |
(hee, hee, holly)
I had a friend who, when he wasn't in favor of something you were telling him or suggesting to him, would put his hands out palms down and with alarm say, This is not happening. |
"I'm multi-talented: I can talk and piss you off at the same time"
"Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun." "Sex on television can't hurt you unless you fall off." |
I'm just here to establish an alibi . . .
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Hi! My parole officer sent me....?
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Whenever someone asks "you look familiar, where do I know you from?"......I like to respond with "well, do you watch porn...?" :sunglass:
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