I am very sorry for your loss Jesse(f)

My Ragdoll...
 

[I]Who ingested some "Frontline plus", early this morning..and is at the the local animal E.R..:olive:


And hopefully, his seizures will stop, soon./I]

I want to shave my hair...buzzzzz cut!! So tired of this mess

on my mind...
 

...the moon...
....the quiet stars...
...sitting on my private second floor deck...
...the cold night air kissing my bare skin....
...a New Year's celebration and what it previously meant to me....

Well... where to start.

... I need $3200 for a custody lawyer.
... We have to move in 3 weeks.... to I have no idea where.
... Someone needs to approve me for a home loan.
... First week of school went ok. But, how the hell do I balance everything now that the shit hit the fan?
... OH, and theres always the teaching program I need to start... that I am postponing now, again.
... Good things on my mind, too. Like the amazing woman I have been seeing for a little under a month.
... I need xanax...

OMG!!! It's 3AM!! ...it felt more like midnight...

A heavy heart for my partner....
 

My new doctor requesting a spinal tap and a few other tests...I hate spinal taps so much that when I gave birth twice, I refused to have the spinal block.

dream homes and disappointment
 

I found my dream home. A geodesic dome on 5 acres. Not far from my mom, same commute to work as I have now (just from a different direction) and with in the price range.
Called up the realtor, she gave me the skinny on the history and that it needs some repairs (excitement because I'm a DIY kind of girl)
I went up to peek in the windows today. And by "peek" I mean I climbed through one of the windows and went in. Hey, it was unlocked!....
"Some" repairs means total water damage, mold, no floors and the list goes on. This would go way out of my price range and know how.
Disappointed.

My mom...Hoping she recovers from surgery soon.

people....some I expected to step up didnt. some I had no expectation of did.

perhaps I havent made the right choices for priorities.

I will pray for you and your Mom. I hope she gets better really soon!

What is on my mind?

The fact that my own birthmother acts the way she does, same goes with my half sister's. I am so beyond pissed at how they are acting about certain things, where the hell is the love?:blink:

And I need some chocolate!:eatinghersheybar:

Hurry up September 17th....

- An insistent urge to distract myself with chocolate from...
- Preoccupation with whether or not it's realistic to dream of a single, compatible femme wandering into my life and welcoming my attention
- and Mental nagging that I should be working and not pontificating in a thread on Butch/Femme planet

What is on my mind?

Well, damien rice has a new album out in like two months! Its been 8 years since his last album. Its like the best news ever!! Happy queenie!

Bling Teeth
 

I avoid getting lettuce between my teeth when eating in public by swallowing it whole.

Lately I've been thinking a lot about death and passing over. I think the holidays coming up reminds me how many people I've lost and I can't speak to them (In the sense they can reply) and it gets to me. I have a firm belief in my faith that pain and suffering ends, and those left behind are to learn something from it. That's the hard part, finding a silver lining after someone leaves. Especially for those of us left behind.