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I've been doing a lot of thinking about how I kinda wasted most of my younger years drinking and partying, job-hopping, not thinking at all about the future and what I needed to do to prepare myself. My spouse and I both partied and danced and lived it up, and never planned for the NOW. Here I am 47 yrs old with no 401k, making good money as a CNA Team Leader but would rather just clean up after dogs and do commercial cleaning, but knowing that won't pay the mortgage. I'm going through a mid-life crisis, according to my family doctor, because of my hormones as I'm starting menopause. I look back and say damned why didn't I go to school, learn a trade, do something?????? Why did we wait so long to buy the house?? Why didn't I stick with the job closer to home???? All this coulda, shoulda, woulda crap is what's on my mind right now. Oh and the grandkids and all their drama, and my stepson's pending divorce, blah, blah, blah. I just wanna run away to the islands for a few months!!!!:|
Anybody care to join me??????? LOL!:jester::jester::jester::jester::jester::jeste r: |
Quote:
Hang in there, you will get it all figured out. Take things one piece at a time. Definitely get a 401 or other retirement plan as soon as you can. Chad |
The news alert that just came to my phone - 3 Baton Rouge police officers dead - 3 injured - in an ambush mirroring Dallas as it happened right outside police HQ as well.
Sad but true, this will not stop - until the policemen that are killing unarmed black human beings are brought to justice - as they should be - as they should have been LONG before they were caught on cell phones, etc. This is not something that just happened overnight. Wake up, America. |
I'm terrified for the future that is being created for my grandchildren....
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How can a transman be a misogynist?? I was driving along with a friend who is trans and he was displaying a bit of road rage. Whenever a bad driver got in front of him he would speed up to check and then sneer 'yup, figured it was a woman.' Is that not sheer craziness....? I would say so!
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My friend who had a stroke is finally home from the hospital. I will soon be traveling to see them after my doctor appts are over. Wish I could go now. She and her daughter called me asking for my help. I feel guilty for having to postpone.
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Paying my bills.
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Apparently I've become the talkative southerner that northerners can't wait to get away from...
Fine.. Not fine. Meh |
Every time I see a racist, homophobic, pro-Trump, or sexist post pop up on my news feed as posted by my supervisor (happens quite often), I harken back to the time that I intended to text a fellow colleague and instead sent a text to my supervisor that read "(Supervisor's Name) is such a damned ignorant prude!"...as she was sitting in the room directly across from me loudly complaining about her child being exposed to a family-oriented LGBT television show.
At the time I was M-O-R-T-I-F-I-E-D. Nowadays the memory just brings a smile to my face. :) |
Part of Yesterday and today have been rough for me. For reasons that I do know, I have been emotionally all over the map. Easily aggravated and irritable. (And no it's not hormone related lol). Hoping a little thinking followed by sleep will help.
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Sometimes it seems the things placed upon our hearts, that we want to do or feel we ought to do.....are beyond our ability to do.....frustrating...and yet, I feel compelled to ask myself why would it be on my heart if it is not for me to do? Which then quickly leads to more questions......Who placed it there? What purpose would (if I could act) it serve for me? others? Not just on the surface, but digging deeper...
to get to the heart of it.....and there yes, there it is....the answers. The why.... and.... what glorious freedom can be found in the answers..... |
...that having two days off in a row always makes me want to have a third.
:blink: |
On my mind
My lunch, that leftover conference sandwich looked a little sketchy. Good thing that I only took a couple of bites.
:doh: |
The appointment I had for tomorrow was rescheduled. And it was about 24 hours within the appointed time. What's the rule for discount vs the charge for a no show?
But hey...it will only be a half day on a Friday! |
Right now I am thoroughly confused. :|
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Work. Getting ready to start another marathon weekend.
Gonna eat my Wheaties, paint my face, put my shoulder to the wheel, and get this party going. :bow: |
This coming weekend and not being able to sleep more than a couple hours at a time.
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It's supposed to be hot, like hot hot today. And humid. Ugh. Weather like this just seeps the energy from my bones. Hopefully, we won't have to do too much outside today.
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My lil dachsie.....Heidi Grilla
Last week my lil baby started to have seizures (had 3 in 2 days). Started her on Phenobarb Fri PM...so none since. BUT she wasn't acting quite right....so was a watch & wait game.
Needless to say I have been on alert, watching her closely. She got worse first of this week, by Wednesday I had resigned myself that I was going to have to put her down. I made an appointment with our old vet to be seen tomorrow for evaluation & possibly having to say goodbye. Many sleepless hours & tears later, yesterday, she did a 360 degree turn. So I talked with our vet this am, cancelled the appointment I had for tomorrow, and said..I want to give her every chance now, and this could well be the "calm before the storm" scenario. At any rate, I am just going to wait & see what transpires. If need be, I will take her in to see the vet & go from there. With a pet & as several of you here know, it is a roller coaster sometimes...with any kind of neurological issues going on...you can just never know what/where/when. There is a suspicion she has a brain tumor...and their little brains are wired so funny, it is impossible to "predict" any given set of circumstances. So she had never stopped eating, pottying.....she would engage in social interactions with us. She did have lots of trouble keeping her hind legs under her...I have a mobility cart coming today, should we need it. So, I have breathed a small, ever so small sigh of relief in this positive turn of events. It isn't far from the recesses of my mind to know things can change in a heartbeat. I do have options & I will give her every.single.opportunity I can...so long as she isn't in any despair & has quality of life in her..which she does. Thanks for the texts, user reps, & PM's asking about my baby!! Your words & concern mean so much to us. I am certain I am again rambling...it has been such a difficult & heartbreaking week for us, esp. for Heidi. Keep her in good thoughts please...thanks...clay & Heidi........ |
My mind?
I hate when I second guess myself. It is like I say or do something and then think -- should I have? I get inside my head so much about it that it ends up making me feel foolish and from that --out of sorts. Bah. I guess I also need to work on having expectations --which is not always a good thing--sometimes it is like setting yourself up for a letdown. Bah, again.
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