| justanolecowboy |
01-22-2013 12:18 AM |
Ramblings from just an ole cowboy
________THIS January night finds me – cold and weary on the outside – but warm on the inside….my work for at least these moments that I write is quiet…which I am thankful for…and as I wait for what might come next … I reflect on the one who holds my heart…and everything in my life that hasn’t made sense up to this point – is now perfectly clear – and my heart can scarcely contain the love that I feel – the depth of my devotion I have for this woman (that holds my heart) – I never knew it could be possible. I mean I would hear my grandfather speak of it – and I saw it in his eyes – each and every time he would look at my grandmother – even if he had just seen her five minutes previously – he always had this sort of sheepish grin on his face around her or if he spoke of her…I would marvel at what seemed the absolute and concrete enormity of his love for my grandmother -
I understand now…because I probably have that same sheepish grin (as a matter of fact I know I do) – I now understand the “enormity” of heart and love and devotion and how indeed you can cherish and love one single woman – like no other and to know that you would give your life without a moment’s hesitation for her… I know – because it has happened to me…it hit me (this love for (this) woman) – like a thunderbolt out of the sky – and yes – I post silly and sappy love songs – and I post what made me smile today – and it is ALL for her – and yet – somehow – it never seems enough – so – I keep trying to get it right … (or) better because sometimes…saying I love you – just doesn’t seem enough – but then again – and it’s true – there are no more three powerful words on the face of the earth– when spoken with depth of heart than “I Love You” – but … in thinking of her this night – there is so much more to love than “just” loving – and as cliché as it may sound – she really does make me want to be a better man – each and every day…and I pray (yes – pray) – How do I show her everyday – how cherished and adored she is – how do I make her feel safe and secure and protected – how do I… (a million different things) … and I feel helpless at times…because how can just an ole cowboy – ever be worthy of such beauty and grace – and out pouring of love – so unconditionally…she is with no doubts the single most incredible and amazing woman I have ever know – and she has my heart completely – no hesitation – no reservation. She smiles and there is no more beautiful sight in this world and if I had to give my entire life for one day of love from her - it still would not be an even trade – and she fills my heart – to overflowing – and I think “my God” … what have I ever done to deserve such love…and just when I think I can’t love her any deeper…I do…because my heart expands (from her love) every single day…
I want to encourage – I want to help her know that all her dreams can come true – I want to love – and care and protect and hold her – in heart and mind and body and spirit…for her to know that she is the single most cherished and adored woman in the entire world – that no other woman can compare to her…in my eyes (ever). For her to know with no doubts – that I am hers completely – for her to know if I make a promise I will keep it – that she can depend on me always – for anything – that I will stand strong before her and let the winds and rains hit me before I would ever let them touch her…that in my arms is the safest place she could (ever) be – for her to know there is absolutely nothing on this earth that I wouldn’t do for her…gladly – without hesitation – for she is the blood that pulses through my veins – and what keeps me moving forward – on cold January nights – when I have no energy and no strength – I feel her in my heart – I hear her in my head – I feel her in my arms – and her whispers in my ear – and her smile before me as she walks toward me in my waking dreams… and my strength is renewed – and the blood races through my veins with every thought of her…and surely I am the single most blessed man on the face of the earth – for this woman’s love in my heart.
______MY greatest honor would be for her to be able to tell her father – these words that Carrie Underwood sings to her mother as she gets married about her husband…
“And he is good, so good. He treats your little girl, like a man should. He is good, SO good. He makes promises he keeps. No, he’s never gonna leave. So don’t worry about me. Don’t you worry about me.
SO – as I end this rambling – let me say to those who wait for a love such as I have…have faith – and patience – and God blesses. How do I know? Well…I know because he blessed me – with the one who now holds my heart – and it is amazing – each and every day she amazes me – and there simply really is no other way to say it. – and I say it to (her) – I love you.
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