| justanolecowboy |
03-04-2013 08:08 PM |
THOUGHTFUL words
(Disclaimer here: same one I always write – I speak only for myself – my beliefs and thoughts – are only mine – I just write – because well…I write).
______________I’ve been thinking the past weeks about words…the words we say to people we know…how they affect them – how they might be hurtful…there is that very familiar quote that says:
“Oh the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all right out, just as they are—chaff and grain together-certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and with the breath of kindness blow the rest away.”
________I think that quote – gets used as an “excuse” sometimes for people to think they can just say anything they want to say to friends or loved ones or partners or wives or husbands – because they think – well – I can say what I feel (because) I love them or (because) I’ve know them so long – they will understand – or they won’t take it the wrong way – or gosh – even if I do upset them – it’s okay – (because) well…they should know “how” I meant it – or it shouldn’t upset them – because well...it just shouldn’t …because I’ve known them so long or I love them…so that gives me “license” to just say whatever I want – because it makes (me) feel better. Well, I’m sorry – but no – (wrong answer).
If I have known you for so long – (or) if I love you…I should give (more) weight to my words or thoughts (because) I love you or have been friends with you so long … I should care (more) about how my words might affect you (or) hurt or upset you. Just because I am “comfortable” with you – doesn’t give me license to say anything to you I want without thought to the consequence of how my words might affect you…if I love you and am your friend – I should care (more)…I shouldn’t just get to say anything I want – and expect you to keep what is worth saying and “blow the rest away” … to (my) way of thinking – I should care enough (and) be responsible enough to say things (not) in a hurtful way – and not make (you) responsible for my lack of not being able to think before I speak.
I think the quote was intended as a way of saying I am “comfortable” enough in being brave enough to “talk to” or “discuss” with you (after giving thoughtful care of how and when and where to do that)…but not just “say whatever I want – whenever I want” and you will understand because we are friends or because I love you.
For me – and again, for me only … BECAUSE I care about my long-time friends or even acquaintances and especially to the one I love – I absolutely want to “take care” in how I speak and how I say things – and what I say – or how they might “take or rather understand” what I am saying or writing – why should I want them to have sift through “bad or crappy” things I might say – just because I think I “can” and they will just “blow” it away as if the lack of respect I might have for them in (not) taking care of how I speak will have no effect on them whatsoever…
As always – just my two cents worth…
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