Butch Femme Planet - Femme Led Relationships and Trans/Butch/Femme Bottoms

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- - Femme Led Relationships and Trans/Butch/Femme Bottoms (http://www.butchfemmeplanet.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1377)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Martina

<snip>

i like seeing boys exposed and hungry and afraid and adoring their Tops.

<snip>

Aw, have you met my Pete? :stillheart:

It's not about you. i just get tired of all these sideways swipes at Tops, as if that's OK. It happens a lot.

Quote:

Originally Posted by June (Post 109796)

Martina? What are you going on about? Did I say that ALL Tops don't have a lot of expertise? Were you inferring that ALL Tops do? Neither of those statements would be true. And, I didn't say anything about ALL Tops.

And yes, it does take a lot of personal knowledge and self-control to run a good scene. You seem to be taking all of my personal point of view and personal experiences very personally. I was not speaking for you.

And I really don't appreciate you taking a tiny piece of my post and responding to it out of context. I further said *I* do not trust a Top that has not bottomed. You can feel free to trust anyone you like.

If you are having a personal issue with me as a member expressing my opinions, please feel free to PM me. Otherwise, what we're doing is going to start looking like a derail.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Random (Post 109812)

For me... My partner is getting to know me, is peeling me like an onion and I her... That is part of any heathy relationship...

For me that has nothing to do with submission and dominance..

No, it doesn't necessarily. It's part of any relationship as you say. But for some people it does have to do with D/s. It does for me, for example, because i am 24/7.

All relationships are about energy exchange, not necessarily about "power" exchange, but I don't know a relationship that has lasted longer then a couple years that does not at some point deal with balance of "power". Especially since, in my understanding, this is not a BDSM thread and therefore BDSM and D/S relationships have a unique form of power exchange.

My grandmother ran the household. She was bossy. My grandfather adored her and his always strove to make her happy. She led fearlessly. He followed willingly. They, as far as I know, were not a BDSM couple.

My Great Aunt Laura thew her abusive father out of the house when she was 16 and with her brother George (a year older then her) supported and raised her 8 younger brother and sisters and she ran her husband the same way. Mr. Ward did everything she asked and loved her.

I am bossy. I like to be in control until I don't want to be. Heh. I boss Hawk around and have for years (going on 22). It is innate. I do not have a D/s relationship with Hawk. Hawk is not my bottom/boi. Hawk is my spousal unit we have very clear understandings of how our energy is exchanged. Heh.

Now I remember hearing my Grandpa's younger brother once say that my Grandfather was "hen pecked" but I never ever in years of being with them heard him complain or do anything but agree with her. Except when he would slip me money when she was not around. *soft smile* Sometimes outside observations of people's relationships is assumptive and annulling.

I think this is where I get confused when taking/co-opting/borrowing/re-defining D/s leather language (i.e. bottom) and using it in vanilla or other flavors of relationships. I see common language as a feature of a "culture" and when I see it out of cultural contest, I have to be the "hanged man" and look from upside down to see from a different point of view. Everyone does that at a different angle and sometimes no matter how many ways I look at it, it just doesn't work for me. But I always try to look.

So, my point is relationships, are like snowflakes, each one unique and beautiful or disgusting in its own little way.

I missed this post Isadora, but wanted to say that I found it quite powerful and lovely :)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Isadora (Post 110224)

You have such a beautifully articulate and yet simple way of saying things. Sometimes I struggle with words, finding definitions that dont fit just so I can communicate without being misunderstood. How I am, like you bossy etc, on a day to day is not part of the Goddess Femdom Diva in me. That aspect of me looks for magic, a connection way beyond words that leaves me breathless.

I was speaking to a boi that is wanting my attention trying to describe who i am and the type of connection I'm looking for. Aside from my day to day, a strong bossy independent woman, the Mistress in me needs a constant tempo and exchange of adoration and worship. This can only be met by one who truly has a need and desire to give this. It won't work if you're giving it just to win me. They need to give as much as I need to take or in some cases receive what I project.

I will be the first one to say "I'm a bitch with double standards." I think its great when hy says "I love that about you."

*Saturday Night Bump*

Leave it to Snow to whore around for conversation. ;)

xo Snowy.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Waldo (Post 274623)

Leave it to Snow to whore around for conversation. ;)

xo Snowy.

Well it is Saturday night, it's how it rolls...

;)

Quote:

Originally Posted by The_Lady_Snow (Post 274624)

Well it is Saturday night, it's how it rolls...

;)

Uh huh. There is clearly not enough of the chatty around these parts tonight.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Waldo (Post 274634)

Uh huh. There is clearly not enough of the chatty around these parts tonight.

Not when it comes to this particular dynamic!

Ah well, missed the chance to chat. i am in a Femme-led relationship, but i am not butch/trans. Don't know if i should chime in anyway.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Martina (Post 274687)

Ah well, missed the chance to chat. i am in a Femme-led relationship, but i am not butch/trans. Don't know if i should chime in anyway.

hey Martina!!!
your opinion is always welcome in here, so please feel free!!!
i would also be willing to ask admin to change the title of the thread...i feel the femme led dynamic is so small it might be to our advantage. what do you think?:mohawk:

i am a lucky guy that gets to do this!!!:mohawk:

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_kYuPyOLtvi...y-Jill-Off.jpg

Thanks!! :)

Great graphic! Yum.

i am so so so so so into giving footrubs. My Queen loves them. My Sir too, actually.

i am trying to learn how to do a pedicure, but i am bad. Even though i am femme, i have never done my own nails (and hardly ever had them done). Ma'am bought me a lovely kit, but it took FOREVER the first time and was a mess. :( i know boys who can do better pedis than this girl. god. lol.

Being at Her feet, for whatever reason, is one of the joys of life.

Re changing the title of the thread, i don't know how many new folks it would bring in. Nice to feel welcome though. :)

hey Martina!!!

i have become very fond of styling Ms's hair for Her. She has been very patient while i have learned to use the Chi. i have often thought about teaching myself how to give Her a pedicure. when She allows me to rub Her feet i use this

http://img.walgreens.com/dbimagecach..._450x450_a.jpg

i also wanted to add that i have never in my life styled hair or anything in the beauty/style related in service before...i was really nervous using that Chi...it is hot!!! burning Her does not feel good and makes me want to crawl in a hole when i have. my point is She is super forgiving and patient and i am lucky to have a Ms that allows me the space to gain value in giving up something. it makes me trust in her direction of Our/our relationship so my acts come to Her more willingly. hope that makes sense.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Isadora (Post 110224)

This thread is not a place that I thought to view. I believed that there was nothing for me here. However, one doesn't learn anything by avoiding ...

Your post, Isadora, certainly changed my thinking. What you have is deep and powerful and interrogates the binary traps in which we have a tendency to set for ourselves ... and others. You've planted fertile soil in which to grow. I have learned much from it ... and sense there are things ... yes, for me ... within in which I need to consider. A week's worth of reflection at least ... I'm slow, what can I say? :)

Thanks for eloquent way of saying it, and thanks to WB for starting this thread ...

Quote:

Originally Posted by weatherboi (Post 274949)

Thank You. i will mention the product to Her. She is a lover of essential oils, and we use those a lot, depending on the mood. There is also a balm, whose name i have forgotten. :( i will let You know.

There is a lot to be said for a bare handed rub though, i think. i love that transition from a tight foot to something soft, warm and relaxed.

That's awesome about learning how to do hair. That's a valuable skill! Yes, my Ma'am is patient too. She has to be -- to be my Dominant. i want to learn more about massage, but the classes are so expensive.

i love caring for and worshipping Her feet. Something extra special in that with a Femme Dominant.

A former Femme Dominant had me shave her pussy. Now THAT was scary the first couple of times. But fun! ;)

Performing body service for a Femme IS intoxicating.

This is def our house and our dynamic....wanted to bump this up a while ago....I know that this type of dynamic is unusual in that it is not in the majority but i suspect its more common then we know....

my Ms and I are going to deeper levels in exploring our boundaries and our wiring so to speak and it feels very liberating for me....