I didn't really do anything to deserve all the thanks for the thread. There are other trans threads...and anyone of us could have done it.Plus, i had help from others here in starting it. Linus did more than i did really.

I haven't had time to read all of this...but, man do i have similar and different experiences going on inside my head while reading about all of you guys's. And the really thoughtful threads... i want to delve more into myself again and analyze and reflect more and go there...(need more self time hugh?) but, i have to save some energy. Don't have a whole lot of extra time. Some really thoughtful posts.

The one "ISSUE" that really disturbs me about the laws in our society... when it comes to being FTM or MTF...is how dangerous it can be for some of us who don't have the correct gender marker on our ID's.
i.e. One that reflects the sex in which people perceive us as... is really the safest.Personally, My gender marker on my ID is Male. I am lucky. But, for those of us who don't have that security...God that makes my skin boil! Seriously, society needs to understand how dangerous this is for trans people...and others and the laws should be changed in order to give each person the ability to CHOOSE what suits them. Burning precious energy...

LOL. Sorry about that!

I chose this one cause I love monkeys and I wear glasses. :blink:



Four Eyed Monkey Lover,
Brute.


P.S. I love monkeys so much I even have a tatt of one. /End Derail.

I think that is funnier than hell Brute....I have been called that before....
Monkey

Keepin' it light is nice

I hope you are safe on the road out there...where are you Brute?

You guys are makin' me laugh reading your stories. The TSA...uh huh..
Another thing that cracks me up...I call trans - friendly toilets ...(TFT's)....
This is a good tool to have and use in public with others...depending on the situation.

I love goin' into the mens room to piss and there are just urinals or no doors....
Lovin' that especially when i am about to whizz my pants and my bladder is bursting...and screamin' at me and me EYE balls are just about to pop out of me HEAD....OY(sarcasm).
That right there is a great feeling and very healthy for our bladders....can anyone say
dehydration? So, important to drink enough water. I do.
I am comfortable in the men's room majority of the time. Just not lovin it when there isn't a door.
A lot more comfortable in the men's than i ever was in the women's restroom. I never really was
comfortable there...i was shy and felt like an intruder. but, i was a gentleman
(when i used to have to go in there) ...you know? Even as a child growing up it felt so wrong.
So confusing.
just don't look at anything. But, embarrassing to go in there. Scary even!
Gonna go try and watch the TV...I hope Obama wins...

I know you had it first - I thought it went well with "Hominid" - but I'm way more into aliens than chimps - you win! Except they didn't have an alien with glasses ...

I have a Jack avatar for you Hominid.
They are out there in cyber space.
You should check them out.

DMW

Some sucker agreed to a date ...
 

Now what?

We met on OKC, apparently she had been "looking" at me for several months - but has been moving, changing jobs, etc. and wasn't actively reaching out to anyone. She was one of my "mandatory" few that I send a message to a week. We met for breakfast - have talked on the phone a few times, and now we're going to the movies and dinner Saturday (not very original, but neither of us has been in a while and it's kind of retro).

Anyway, she is straight. Well, not really - well - she defines as straight but was with a few women over 8 years ago. She's never been with anyone trans, doesn't know anyone trans. She told me tonight she gets a little wobbly in the knees when we talk and has said nothing about my being trans or made no references to it ... which I admit is kind of nice.

That said, if we get that far (which won't be this week), how does one deal with sex? My ex and I had sex pretty much the same way after transition as before - and I was with a woman last year sexually who had been with butch lesbians so the "hardware" thing was just a given (hearkening to my comment about it being a little easier to date queer women). So, I mean, you're making out ... one thing leads to another ... then you excuse yourself? Do I talk about this very thing so when the time comes she's like "go upstairs honey, I'll be up in a minute" so I can be in bed already?

I plan to take my time, not rush into sex, but I'm curious about others' experiences with this delicate, embarrassing (to me) issue.

Exactly my question from earlier
 

I'm not worried about the "outing" myself...it's sex with a straight wamon that makes me question the "how to do it" the easiest & most comfortable way...NOT talking about positions here guys.....LOL.....just fyi.....

I'll be interested in the answers....thanks Hominid ! & Good luck when it happens & enjoy your date !!!

BTw...what's OKC ? a dating site ?

OK Cupid (dating site).

And I think in regards to the "how to" I think this will be largely dependent on the individual you are with. And what you both agree to what excites you or turns you on. And what things either you do not feel comfortable with. I don't know if any of us can suggest that it be one way or another. I've used toys (I like to say that I can come in any color, shape or size -- pun intended), my hands, my mouth and sometimes other things (amazing what a simple feather and a blindfold can cause).

Just fill her in about your situation and ask her what she likes

Ditto. :koolaid:

I'm not sure how best to put this but I would prefer that this thread be FTM only. It's not that we do not value or appreciate input from other gender IDs but sometimes we have to figure out things for ourselves by ourselves for ourselves. Threads like Ask a Trans or What attracts you to FTMs may be more appropriate for comments, questions, etc.


As DMW stated at the start:

Welcome to butchfemme planet Purple, i completely agree with your answer to the question that you replied to....Smile.

I see that you are new here. Just to fill you in regarding what i have asked for
from the community.

I have made this thread a thread for FTM's to share a space. It isn't exactly private for us but, it is the best we got.

You did remind me that another thread needs to be made though.


Have a good day and please don't take my request personally...I am sure there will be more people ...to drop by unaware... I myself, have messed up plenty,so no need to feel badly or to apologize.

There are a lot of good people here and there is room for everyone of all colors,shapes and sizes....
have fun, and welcome again.


DMW

Gentlemen, thank you for this thread, and for your openness and honesty. There are things I want to post and say but I can't do it right now. I can't get the words right in my thoughts right now. But I am a very appreciative reader.

Just a note...i believe there is more risk involved for those who love trans people...more risk for loss. (friends or lovers or mates) even family sometimes.

We change, in different ways..some subtle, some big...Physical for sure. and our lives become different....so to...do the lives of the one's that love us.

Sometimes our change makes the lives of the one's we love(our Parners especially)... really invisible...there is so much fear for them. It is a lot to ask of someone to take on the journey of life with a transman.

and for some... misunderstanding...
it is up to me to give them time, space, acceptance (because they are NOT trans) and the willingness... to be available to explain myself and answer questions when needed.
If i am expecting them to reciprocate ...in kind... i must give of myself in order to receive
understanding.
It is called respecting the one's I love. And respecting myself.

The people that love me are forced to accept and change...in their own way... and love me...because...i am trans. I make a move and take action...there is a reaction...of course...
And i must say, I am a very lucky man.

In addition, i am not alone and my story is not unusual....so, keep your heads up transmen...the people who really love you and accept your change... will do the same for you... as you do for them. I am not the only lucky one.

And sometimes...people love me...but it is too much...to stay on the journey... and that is ok...
i can love them back...in kind...

See, there is the risk of loss. It takes a brave woman to take on that risk. I know that.
I have seen it and lived it and watched her love and loved her back...with me on the journey or not...she loved me back....and ditto i for her.

DMV,

There was a lot to this that I can relate to. Realizing that there are some of my own family members that are going to have a really really hard time with it especially when the time comes that I start T. They say they support me but I also know the physical changes will be a shock for them. There are some too who have literally just disappeared into thin air when they found out. Lol. No worries though, they're cousins who I'd rather not hang out with anyway. Yet I know they ALL love me, it's just a matter of how much they can deal with because whether they like it or not, the change will happen. So regardless if they hang around or not, I'm okay with it because like I said, I know they do love me.

As far as being with someone and having her go through this with me. Yea, I can see how it can be really hard for her but I am lucky in that she supports me and understands that everyone should just be who they feel they are. She's one of those who wants to beat her head on a wall when she meets someone who feels they can't be who they truly are for whatever reason. Lol. Kinda cute actually. If she had her way, every one would be free to live as they see themselves. As far as her feeling invisible. I think it's more she feels femme invisibility then anything else. Does being with me, a FTM, compound that? I dunno. Maybe. But she looks at it as her invisibility, not mine. Hope that makes sense, at least it does in my head. Lol. I could see how it could be harder if I were a FTM that wanted to denounce any part of my female past once I fully transitioned and live as a heterosexual male. Luckily for myself and her, I don't want to live that way.

Yea, I reckon we are pretty damn lucky, DMW, for having women in our lives who understand the risks but also know there are joys as well to being with one of our kind. At least that's what I hope anyways. She's still with me so must be some joy in there somewhere. Lol. I do know that I try my best to make sure that she is comfortable with what's happening (although I can be self absorbed most the time) because as I transition, it's not just me but us. Our lives change with each step I take. My transitioning will affect her family because they don't fully understand or know yet. It was our choice. Right now it's the best choice. It's a choice I am okay with because I want life for her to be as uncomplicated as possible and believe me, while her parents are truly great people....calling them up to tell them that I'm really a man trapped in a female body would earn us a few candles at mass I'm sure! Again, love them to death and they love me to death. Just not something I would want to put on them or on her.

She knows the risks and for that I'm grateful. So we'll take it one day at a time and see what each day brings. :)


Yep I Am Lucky,
Brute.

Yep
 

I can totally relate DMV....it takes a very special person to love & stay alongside us sometimes. I had a woman who did that, & omg did/do I love her for that. That's what's hardest about the divorce is my best friend, the woman I felt safest with, the woman who loved me even though I changed...she's not with me anymore but, the love we shared is still there & I will be forever grateful to her for her love & emotional support the last 10 years. She's a gem...I hope I will be blessed enough to find another like her in those ways....I wish us ALL the best in that !

Jonathan

Well ... yeah - I'm not really asking HOW to have sex ... just how to deal with the topic of "okay, I have to strap on to do that part" - although I'm quite sure she'll be happier with the things I'll do and the parts I'll pay attention to compared to most cis-guys, there's "that" part that I'm worried about.