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Totally. I love little things. Personable and individual. Things just for me.
My exwife used to carry the bags home on the bike after grocery shopping, not because she wanted to be a gentleman, but because she didn't want my front tire to wobble and thus possibly get smucked by a car. She would find me a seat at an event 30 min in not because that's the chiverlrous thing to do, but because she knew 30 min was the time limit of my sore feet in heels. Probably the most romantic thing she ever did was when I had food poisoning in her sisters bed in the middle of the night. On a brand new super expensive mattress. I knew how freaked out and upset her sister would be. I was in a state. What did she do? She woke up her sister and told her she had done it because she drank too much. Even though she caught the wrath of her sister for three days over it. That's love. That is romance. Someone taking the shit for you because they can't bare seeing you sick and upset. Fuck flowers and poetry. Cleaning up my puke while I'm crying, lying to your own family and going out to get carpet cleaner to wash the mattress with is stellar romance. |
This got me thinking as I don't do any of the usual romantic things like leaving notes, though, once, I had a bunch of flowers delivered to a special friend on her birthday - she lived in another country and I ordered a floral arrangement online of I-don't-know-what flowers they were (they looked pretty).
I agree with what I've read so far about not trying too hard. But I'll open doors for you if you don't beat me to it. And I'll bring a small cooler of ice cold beer when I pick you up from the airport. Save some for me. |
Love Romance
I am absolutely a romantic. I feel that romance is best when both parties are on the same page. I enjoy being romanced and also I also love to do some romancing.
The fastest way to my heart is to hold my door, gently touch my hand, planning little outings, or numerous other thoughtful, romantic moves. A little creativity will carry you a long ways. :rrose: |
I used to think that I was not very romantic. Then I had two long term relationships in a row with people who weren't romantic at all (after getting used to dating people who would be romantic once in a blue moon) and I came to realize that no, actually, I really am and it's something that's important to me in a relationship... After voicing my desires to no avail, in the end those relationships made me feel like I just wasn't worth the effort. I won't ever allow that to happen again.
Maybe it's not very hip to admit to wanting flowers and poetry and the whole nine yards (at least in certain circles), but damn it, I do, and I'm so sick of being made to feel somehow defective, a bad feminist, or hopelessly old fashioned for wanting it (not by anyone here - just generally). For me personally, it used to be something I would deny about myself and try desperately to ignore or downplay (along with most of the traditionally "feminine" aspects of my personality) and now it's something I embrace after years of struggling with it. Some of the stuff we derisively peg as romantic or Hallmark-y, I think it's because it's just really overdone or it's because it's done insincerely or indiscriminately. I don't think that there is anything inherently cheesy or impersonal about flowers, poetry, or any of the things we sometimes roll our eyes at. I think the key is the intent, sincerity of the persons involved, and communication. If you bring me red roses on a date because that's "just something you do" as opposed to putting thought into it and finding out what I actually like (or if I like them at all), then yeah, kinda formulaic, though I would still find it sweet and appreciate the effort (and also the novelty of it as it would be a first for me). If, however, you make the effort to discover that I like white roses, lilacs, and pink carnations (don't judge me :p) and whip out one of those, to me that is super romantic. Likewise, if I invite you over for a home cooked meal and some snuggling while we watch a movie, it could be considered formulaic and impersonal if I just put something together like pasta or lasagna, light a few candles, and have a random recent release ready for you. Instead, maybe you prefer Indian food and would appreciate a dish of roghan josh, incense over candles, and maybe you have a thing for retro kung-fu movies or really obscure and slightly depressing French films. :p I think most anything can be romantic, even the things that seem overplayed at first glance, if done right. Romance is also important for me to just keep the relationship alive and sparking and so that I don't end up feeling like I have a glorified roommate who I also sleep with when the mood strikes. I want to be with someone who wants to lay out on the grass in a field and look at the stars. I want to be with someone who enjoys reading poetry/prose/whatever out loud to each other while snuggled up in bed. I want to be with someone who thinks little love notes and surprises "just because" are sweet and not corny. I want to be with someone who understands the importance of physical affection outside of the bedroom and the sweetness of an unexpectedly gentle touch. I want to be swept off my feet just once so I can know what it feels like. I want to be with someone who is comfortable with both receiving and giving romantic gestures and who understands it doesn't diminish them or their masculinity in any way to be "caught" doing so. Basically, I want someone who speaks the same "language" and understands that in a relationship this stuff is the good stuff. :) :heartbeat: |
This is one of my most favourite threads on BFP. I love reading how others perceive and welcome romance into their relationships. It's such a special effort that means so much and lingers forever. I remember each and every romantic notion ever showered upon me.
That birthday you played Happy Birthday on your harmonica to me naked. The midnight picnic in an empty field under the stars as well as all of the floor picnics in your apt. When you learned to play Imagine on your keyboard because you knew I loved it. The love letters mailed to me when you lived in the same city & all the creative romance they said to me [including the sexy drawings!]. Writing me poetry. All of the hours you worked to buy me that puppy. Serenading me on my balcony, with your guitar from the lawn. Kissing me in the parking lot in the rain. Taking my photo with you so faraway after we had just met. Getting into the bath with me in your clothes. Handmade gifts from your heart, working overtime to earn the money to come see me, going through all kinds of drama & hell to come see me, and the poetry. All of the poetry. When you dug up an entire rose bush & left it on my door. When you left a candy bar & greeting card on my car windshield. When you walked on the streetside of the sidewalk to protect me. These are just a few of the things that have sent my heart and head into a spinning whirlwind of romance over the years and in those alone moments when I feel a little 'less than' - I remember them and remember when I was 'more than'. Mhmm, romance is very important and that one gesture, that one handpicked wildflower, that one mix tape will mean more and linger longer than you can ever imagine. Do it. Love. |
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Holy shit. That's super romantic (and maybe a bit illegal depending on where the bush originally came from, hahaha). What a great twist on a traditional idea. Love it! What a lucky lady! :awww: :heartbeat: |
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I'm a back-rubbing, massaging all over her body, kind of romantic.
I am a take a shower with her, wash her hair, wash her back and her other important parts kind of romantic. I'm a take off the mattress pad and wash and dry it and the sheets and remake the bed, leaving a romantic card propped up against her pillow; kind of romantic. I'm a sexy negligee-wearing femme, because it is a turn-on for her and it also feels romantic to me. She will be home in two days from her trip...she has not yet seen the raspberry-pink baby doll nighty that I will be wearing to greet her at the door. Is it hot in here or is it just me? |
I was feeling down, so Kasey took me and our dessert to the patio, put on some dreamy music, and danced with me in the moonlight.
Sighhhhhhh |
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there is absolutely NOTHING about wanting a mate who will make you swoon and feel romanced that could ever possibly make you a bad feminist. I solemnly promise. *crosses my heart* oh, and I'm a will-make-sure-to-grab- you-choclate-before-you-even- think-to-ask kind of romantic ;) |
How romantic am I?
Very with the right woman. ;) |
I never knew I was very romantic till my last relationship,when I fell head over heals in love,I sent flowers from Sydney to the States,A ticket to Australia,we danced to Etta James "at last"on the steps of the opera house,the happiest moment in my life was seeing here at the airport for the first time,and her beauty took my breathe away,I recorded songs for her,and for the first time,I gave my heart to her.
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I love when someone bumps this thread and it's active again. It's one of my favourites on BFP.
So as anyone and everyone who knows me, knows how incredibly stupid romantic I am but I find as I age, romance becomes less and less a part of my life and I'm really not okay with that. I'm actually very sad about that. And I wonder if it has something to do with aging and that we get jaded with our years of romantic experience and just don't have the energy for the effort anymore or.... if it's me and I don't inspire that kind of romance anymore. Either of those answers are unacceptable to me. When I look at my post to this thread above^ a few ago, I wonder even moreso if those moments and gestures are gone forever now. With all my heart and soul, I hope not. |
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I give flowers,back/neck//hand/feet rubs..rubs,all kinds are good.Cooking for her..although eating out is better.Taking her out in the woods and..well.I won't get too mushy.
Miss you,baby :popcorn: |
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I can be pretty mushy.. Love long walks by the water, surprise picnics, cooking for my partner, slow dancing just because, little texts throughout the day to let them know they are on my mind. Just some of that...
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The lipstick kisses I left on the bathroom mirror and on the refrigerator door, months ago....are still there.
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I like the idea of romance but I don't subscribe to motions of romantic endeavors most people consider romantic.
And I guess I will leave it at that for now because I keep things of that nature fairly private, nowadays. But I do enjoy romance, I really do. : ) |
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