| Femmadian |
11-26-2014 11:09 AM |
Veering off course a bit
I didn't know where to put this one but I know a lot of people are dreading spending time with family over the holidays, or at least holding their breath and then hoping for the best.
With that in mind, I wanted to share what I've personally found to be a helpful list with a roundup of links designed to help those with difficult or otherwise complicated families try to enjoy their time together or to at least minimize the potential for harm and hurt feelings (both for themselves and others). The list covers things like dealing with racist relatives, fat shaming, sensitive dinner topics, food, maintaining your personal boundaries, and practicing self care.
I also wanted to share this advice post (particularly for the comments) from Captain Awkward with anyone who may be interested, especially those coming from supportive and close-knit families who may not quite understand it first hand. It gives some different tips and ways to frame conversations about family around the holidays if you're not close to them when you're asked by (mostly) well meaning people or, as the case may be, how to be a more supportive friend to the people in your life who may not have the same family background you do.
Finally, I've seen some variations of this float about for the past two years around this time and found it a helpful reminder to me as I head into the holiday season:
Quote:
Stop.
Take a moment.
Breathe.
This holiday, too, shall pass.
You are not your weight, your age, the amount of money you make, or the car you drive.
You are not your job or your lack of a job.
You are not your father’s idea of you, or your mother’s, or your grandmother’s, or your great-aunt’s.
You are not the person you were in high school and you are not the person you will be at the end of your life.
You are not your failed relationships, your addictions, your public and private pain.
You are infinite and beautiful and it is impossible for any one person to see or appreciate your totality.
Know that you have more potential for goodness and love in the cuticle of your pinky fingernail than your family bully, abuser, naysayer or shit-talker has in his or her entire person.
You are different.
You are special.
You are not your abuser and you are not your abuse.
You are not your scars.
I don’t know if God is real, but I know you are real, and this world is better for it.
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Good luck.
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