I get tongue-tied often and seem to excel at stumbling my way through voice messages.

Today I was leaving a voicemail message for someone when a colleague stepped into my office to ask something. As I was leaving the message, I stated that the "patient had presented with shortness of breasts." When I tried to correct myself and say breath, I said breasts again. My buddy started cracking up at me which got me tickled, and I managed to laugh my way through the rest of the message. Unfortunately it was not one where you could re-record your message!

When he returned my call, I apologized for the awkwardness, and we both got a good laugh out of it. :simplelaugh:

Apparently I have breasts on the brain today. :blush:

While returning from my Dr appt this morning, my phone rings
On the other end is my seemingly out of breath and shakeing voice roomie

She says where are you, I said on the way home. What's wrong?
I thought she found one of the animals down or dead.

She says there was a snake beside the AC unit. I was turning on the water and he about scared me to death, he was right beside my foot before I saw him.....I'm still listening.

"I ran in the house and got your gun and shot him and missed him, then shot him again (blowing a hole in the middle of him lol)
Then I thought he was coming after me, so I shot him again and got him in the head.
Then shot him again in the neck . You can see the blue dots. I killed him quicker than I did the other one with the sledge hammer.

I'm like umm well ok I'll be home in a bit.

Whole story cracked me up her first experience with killimg a snake with a pistol. I was just proud of her for not being scared to try it.

.LMAO!!! I didn't know it sounded so funny until I read this! ...in my defense, I missed the first time because I didn't aim correctly...I was more worried that it was too close to my feet, since I had sandals and a dress on...but I made sure I didn't miss the second time.

This is the 4th monster size snake I've killed this year....I don't know which is more funny??.... Me swinging a huge sledgehammer to hit it several times (gotta make sure it's DEAD), at the same time trying to jump backwards to keep from getting bit??.... Or me dressed in an ankle length skirt, trying to handle that big ass pistol like I was Annie Oakley Junior??...
:quickdraw: :quickdraw: :quickdraw:

Practice makes perfect. *laughing


https://i.imgur.com/mfXcPn2.gif?noredirect


My heart grew 2 sizes.

That's too funny! Are your snake killing services for hire? Cuz seeing all that would have me rolling. :superfunny::superfunny:

No mercy for snakes. If you hire me, I won't be wearing sandals next time....instead, I'll wear snake boots under my long skirt. :-P

No sandals? Aw ok.... Still too funny. It's a deal! :D

Cracking up with my roommate today as we were going on a town trip to tour several Restores and a famous, old hardware store.

We are natural at joking and being silly, always having a great time.

But right now, I can't recall what was said that made me laugh so hard my ribs hurt.... Damn I'm getting old! I swear we need a GoPro camera to keep rolling video of our funny crack ups!

the cat finally got fed up and tried to hump the dog...i suspect that may be the end of it.

Cracked me up
 

Actually yesterday. I was getting a hair cut when the song What Is Love by Hiddaway came on and I wanted to jump up grab the stylist by the hand and dance. By the end of the song I had worked out a salon dance sequence in my head. Haha!
https://youtu.be/HEXWRTEbj1I

Just another fun day in my head.

:party:

My roommate telling me he will spank me if I mess with his newly baked peach cobbler before we leave for the picnic....

I had to chuckle and remind him that he hasn't spanked me since we met, he ain't gonna do it now ;) ;)

My best friends 3 yr old grand daughter... She got out of the pool came over and sat down in my lap was just talking up a storm.. She looks at me says your hot... We busted out laughing and said what did you say she turned and looked at me said your hot .. Me and her grand mother was rolling I said where in the hell did she learn that shit from... The shit that comes out of kids mouths.😂😂😂

Mom has never bought a boston butt, they went on sale yesterday. So she text me a bit ago telling me she just got home from the grocery store. She didn't get a boston butt because they were all 19-21 pounds. She could hardly pick it up and didn't think it would fit in her crock pot.

A 20 POUND BOSTON BUTT.......REALLY?
I said Mom that was not a butt! They don't come that big. They are normally 7 to 10 pounds. A 20 pound butt would have had to come off of a cow. SMH yeah Ima get her one when I go get mine.

My crazy roommate...
 

"That would make me as dizzy as a one legged duck!"

We have reached the point of summer vacation that my daughter is correcting the grammar on the info packet she got from a theater gig she starts on Monday, and when I flip her off she just gives me the tally of how many times I've done so for the day.

Mom did. We have done nothing but laugh for the last four hours

While trying to scrub the goo from elastic joint tape from my knee, my phone rings. It's Mom, she is hysterical and out of breath. Huffing and puffing she says. "I am in heart attack mode, there is a snake in my house." all in the same breath.

I have to laugh here, because I remember showing a picture of a huge snake that got in my house a few yrs ago to my Aunt and she said if I ever see a snake like that in my house he can have it I'm moving out. ROFL

So anyway went to Mom's never found the snake and came home. I'm sure she will be calling me back.

Me.

Happens often.