Everything I did or didn't do led me to where I am and that is the best place I've ever been. Red is my soulmate and we crossed paths many times in our early years and never once spoke. We had mutal friends but were never together with them at the same time. We were at several events at the same time and never met. It's funny how our lives crossed so many times back then yet we never met. I'm pretty sure it's because she was not yet prepared to put up with me :-).

...that I would not have caused hurt or pain to anyone that I loved due to thoughtless words or my own insecurities.

The past can not be undone but hopefully I learned from it and grew as a human being.

Everything that has ever happened, has brought me to this place and time.

I do not want to turn back time.

Well, maybe 10-years younger would be pretty cool.

Turn Back
 

Im cool where im at.

I would have had more self confidence growing up.

I would have treated myself better. I would have loved myself more.

I would have learned how to eat right and exercise much earlier.

I would have taken more chances.

I wouldn't have spent money on stupid things.

I would have learned what my gender identity is much earlier than I have.

But... things that have happened may not have happened if things were different. I've learned these lessons, some the hard way, and can apply them to the future...

cook a ham for Thanksgiving ~

I would have left home at 16 and not been guilted into returning.

I would have said "yes" to something in 1990 and a firm "no" to something in 1992.

I would have stopped punishing myself for the actions and harm caused by others a lot earlier than I have.

I would have told my good friend not to pick up her mail at the embassy 8/7/98.

I would never have returned stateside in 2002.

Most of all I would go back in time and tell that little blonde ponytailed girl that "you are smart, you are kind, you are important" and sometimes parents do not have your best interest at heart. Sometimes they are too damaged to parent well and take things out on an innocent child. But one day you will have enough strength to not only have closure but to realize the door between you needs to be closed, for good.

Most of all I would tell her to trust your journey. You got this.

Katniss~~(Dorothy and Toto can keep home. I'll stay a stray. :dog: )

If I could turn back time I would...

-have not walked down the aisle...
- Come out to my family sooner
-Not listened to my parents and attended Berklee College of Music in Boston
- left sooner from a hurtful situation

it's too overwhelming. seriously. there's so much i'd do different, ... i wouldn't be the same person LOL. just too freakin' much to think about.

If I could turn back time, I wouldn't have answered that PM. Although I have come to love Seattle, I wouldn't have moved and would still be living on 26th Street in NYC--possibly even in love with an east coast Butch that I never got to meet.

But I did answer that PM. And perhaps something amazing is in store for me here on the left coast that will make me glad I answered it.

I would do 16 over. The whole freaking year. I wouldn't change the end result, but it could have been done much better. Less collateral damage and all that.

If i could turn back time i would spend precious time with my grandpa. I grew up in the south and my family is in the north. As a young adult i didnt travel to see my family as much as i could have and my grandpa suddenly passed in 2005. It was a learning experience that i took to heart. Since i have made ever effort to close the gap by visiting my family , especially my grandma, as much as i possibly can.

Re-Do! Re-Do!!
 

Remember as kids playing in the front yard (like kick ball) we would call a "RE-DO?"!! Well, there are sure times where I wish I could have done that immediately after i said or did something because I did not think it through. Luckily with age and experience, I have learned to think before I let someone hook up that Uhaul..LOL I have had many high points in life and many low points as I'm sure many have..But few regrets. The regrets I do have..Pray about them and move on. :byebye:

If I turned back time, would I even still be the same person?

I struggle with this concept a lot because while there are certainly things I would have done different now that I know the result, every action and every thought provided me with a new lesson and a new chance.

As much as I would like to change some of the experiences I have had, I wouldn't want to compromise what I have now and what I think I may have in the near future because of following my travelling barber business dream.

this is hard because the path i have walked on the good and the bad made me who i am and lead me to desd the love of my life and all the happiness i have now,, but i would go back to a 9 year old me and tell my mom i love her that last time i saw her before her accident.. i would go back and tell my dumb head to listen to my heart and admit how very much i loved desd from the start.. she was then and is now everything i could have ever wanted in a lover a partner and a best friend.. lastly i would have cut my losses with a former friend but we live and learn.. i have a amazing life a wonderful daughter and a wife who takes my breath away

If I could turn back time..

I would have left an emotionally abusive relationship sooner, and on my own grounds, face to face. With that said, I would not have tried a second time to repair it.

I would take back the things I said to her in fear to push you away.

I would not sacrifice my home, family, and job for what turned out to be nothing but another notch in her belt.

I never would have gone to her house over spring break, thus meaning I never would of ODed and ended in the ER.

I would tell my newly outed gay self that I did not have to save every 'damsel in distress', and that my happiness was important just as much as my partner's. I did not have to change to be loved, that no one was worth the hurt of any temporary changes attempted.

I would tell my younger self that communication is important. I grew up in a household where looks and thinly veiled threats communicated feelings, especially anger, and to this day there are days where all my cues are physical, none verbal.