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-   -   Neurodiversity (http://www.butchfemmeplanet.com/forum/showthread.php?t=630)

Andrew, Jr. 03-02-2010 09:13 AM


Jen - That is the perfect example! :runforhills:

Now I have a revolving front door it seems. Once someone comes in, another person leaves. Sometimes this is fun, and sometimes it is too much for me. I just need my space. When someone unannounced shows up, who I have never met in real time before, nor has Rosie, then it is another issue. I think people who don't have neurological disorders or diseases really do not understand this at all. They just don't grasp the concept of routines, and personal/public business. It is a fine line. Everyone has that line, but it is harder for those of us who are disabled to function and to express ourselves that others don't negate.

I am the one person that the kids in the neighborhood trust. So, I was "elected" to be the house that they go to if they get in trouble or if they needed help fast. I have no issues with that at all. In fact, I find it quite a gift that I was asked to do this for the children. :present: I think that my late dog, Lil, would walk the kids to the bus stop, wait with them until they got on the bus, and then come home. And then like clockwork, at 3pm would walk down the street and sit and wait for the kids to come home from the school bus. I never saw anything like it to this very day. I got Lil when she was a few weeks old. I have no clue where she picked this up from. None at all.

Apocalipstic 03-02-2010 09:16 AM

I never even answer the door :)

Andrew, Jr. 03-02-2010 09:20 AM

I have learned.

christie 03-02-2010 09:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by apocalipstic (Post 59558)
I never even answer the door :)


Having a 120lb dog who looks like a bear is a GOOD thing... it keeps the neighbors at bay!

We are probably gonna hit town on Thursday the 1st. My mom's 75th bday is the 31st but there is NO way we can make it there on Wed.

Maybe Saturday we can do coffee - you know my folks arent too awfully far from your house? I usually drive Jess thru Edgefield, Shelby Park and over by Stratford reliving my glory days...

I'm hoping to be over the pneumonia thing by then - I went back to the doc yesterday and was met with, "How do you feel about MCV? (our equilivent to Vandy) I responded that I hated to park there using valet because they lose your car. HA!!! The PA didnt realize that I knew he was talking about admitting me, but I am NOT a good patient and the last place I wanna be is inpatient - it would not bode well for my social skills (or lack thereof).

Anyway, we are hoping to take bratboy to the Autism Conference on Friday the 2nd while we are in town - he is interested in hearing Temple Grandin speak.

Hope ya'll all have a grand day - I'm hiding in my office, door closed and a note on it that warns all to enter at own risk. :hanging:

Apocalipstic 03-02-2010 09:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by christie0918 (Post 59564)
Having a 120lb dog who looks like a bear is a GOOD thing... it keeps the neighbors at bay!

We are probably gonna hit town on Thursday the 1st. My mom's 75th bday is the 31st but there is NO way we can make it there on Wed.

Maybe Saturday we can do coffee - you know my folks arent too awfully far from your house? I usually drive Jess thru Edgefield, Shelby Park and over by Stratford reliving my glory days...

I'm hoping to be over the pneumonia thing by then - I went back to the doc yesterday and was met with, "How do you feel about MCV? (our equilivent to Vandy) I responded that I hated to park there using valet because they lose your car. HA!!! The PA didnt realize that I knew he was talking about admitting me, but I am NOT a good patient and the last place I wanna be is inpatient - it would not bode well for my social skills (or lack thereof).

Anyway, we are hoping to take bratboy to the Autism Conference on Friday the 2nd while we are in town - he is interested in hearing Temple Grandin speak.

Hope ya'll all have a grand day - I'm hiding in my office, door closed and a note on it that warns all to enter at own risk. :hanging:

Saturday sounds perfect, there are cute new coffee places in East Nashville I have been dying to try :)

I hope you feel better, I have been sick for weeks too....UGH. The steroids makes me pretty crazy.

Inpatient sucks, I hate it too and hope you are avoiding it!

Apocalipstic 03-02-2010 09:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by christie0918 (Post 59564)
Having a 120lb dog who looks like a bear is a GOOD thing... it keeps the neighbors at bay!

We are probably gonna hit town on Thursday the 1st. My mom's 75th bday is the 31st but there is NO way we can make it there on Wed.

Maybe Saturday we can do coffee - you know my folks arent too awfully far from your house? I usually drive Jess thru Edgefield, Shelby Park and over by Stratford reliving my glory days...

I'm hoping to be over the pneumonia thing by then - I went back to the doc yesterday and was met with, "How do you feel about MCV? (our equilivent to Vandy) I responded that I hated to park there using valet because they lose your car. HA!!! The PA didnt realize that I knew he was talking about admitting me, but I am NOT a good patient and the last place I wanna be is inpatient - it would not bode well for my social skills (or lack thereof).

Anyway, we are hoping to take bratboy to the Autism Conference on Friday the 2nd while we are in town - he is interested in hearing Temple Grandin speak.

Hope ya'll all have a grand day - I'm hiding in my office, door closed and a note on it that warns all to enter at own risk. :hanging:

Oh and yes, huge dogs are a plus for keeping people away. :)
Mine looks like a 100lb wolf :)

Apocalipstic 03-02-2010 10:29 AM

Would someone with some time to spare, who is better at interpreting what is an is no OK socially take a look at the PTSD thread and let me know if it is OK to have such a thread and if I am being unreasonable?

I don't want to have to have a secret password to get to discuss PTSD. I really am not hung up on secrecy, should I be?

Liam 03-02-2010 10:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by apocalipstic (Post 59587)
Would someone with some time to spare, who is better at interpreting what is an is no OK socially take a look at the PTSD thread and let me know if it is OK to have such a thread and if I am being unreasonable?

I don't want to have to have a secret password to get to discuss PTSD. I really am not hung up on secrecy, should I be?

Confidentiality is one of the key aspects of any support group—basically what is said in group, stays in group. I suppose having a password protected room for support group meetings prevents someone from blundering into a meeting.

A password is not needed to discuss PTSD issues in your thread, I think many folks have discovered that they are not alone in dealing with this issue, in their lives. I appreciate the presence of your thread here.

Cyclopea 03-02-2010 11:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by apocalipstic (Post 59587)
Would someone with some time to spare, who is better at interpreting what is an is no OK socially take a look at the PTSD thread and let me know if it is OK to have such a thread and if I am being unreasonable?

I don't want to have to have a secret password to get to discuss PTSD. I really am not hung up on secrecy, should I be?

I'm not a better judge than you of what is or is not socially acceptable but I did have a few thoughts so I thought I would offer them.
Of course it is perfectly acceptable to have an open thread on PTSD where members can post whatever thoughts they have on the topic without editing themselves. If some would feel more comfortable in a discussion with clearly outlined rules of engagement where certain types of discussion which don't feel safe to them are forbidden, that sounds good too. There's always room for two threads. I wonder if it might be a good idea to have an area of the forum that is kind of the opposite of the "Red Zone" - like a "Safe Zone" for threads that are limited in the ways posters are to interact. Not that they would be heavily moderated by official moderators, but by members or the thread creator. Not sure how that would work but it's a thought.
I hope your need to share and have fellowship around what you want to discuss is respected.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Liam (Post 59592)
Confidentiality is one of the key aspects of any support group—basically what is said in group, stays in group. I suppose having a password protected room for support group meetings prevents someone from blundering into a meeting.

This is what I thought the purpose was of the password system for directed chat as well. Not exclusion. I suppose the mere existence of a password would suffice, not a secret one, since the act of entering a specific password to enter a specific chat discussion implies that one is acting purposefully.
A password is not needed to discuss PTSD issues in your thread, I think many folks have discovered that they are not alone in dealing with this issue, in their lives. I appreciate the presence of your thread here.

Thank you for allowing me to share my thoughts, hope everyone dealing with PTSD or trauma is able to get their needs met and facilitate coping and healing.
:cheer:

Apocalipstic 03-02-2010 01:50 PM

I guess for me secrets are what caused most of my problems and it is important to me to be able to share openly. I think telling our truth is important.

I certainly get the need to have therapy and AA type groups with facilitators and the promise of anonymity....for those who feel the need to keep things hidden. I have been though so much, I genuinely do not care any more.

I think having the closed PTSD group, when when you click it asks you for a password, but you can see who is in there seems exclusive and hurtful to those who have not rated an invitation to said PTSD group, which I think would be further triggering.

I want people to blunder in and feel free to say or not say what they want to.

I am just saying NO to secrets. :)

Andrew, Jr. 03-02-2010 03:01 PM

Now that is one of my issues...the secrecy issue is a main issue of PTSD. So, how do we do this? :batman:

Apocalipstic 03-02-2010 03:05 PM

I refuse to be shamed into hiding any more.

Apocalipstic 03-04-2010 09:28 AM

I wonder sometimes if I were neurotypical I would see things the same way and the same things would seem blaringly obvious.

I have a difficult time with what feelings are and how they differ from thoughts.


Cyclopea, I really like the idea of a Safe Zone as long as everyone is welcome. :) Then, people who might be triggered by certain types of discussions could just avoid the Safe Zone?

Andrew, Jr. 03-04-2010 10:31 AM

To me, right now, I am in a place where I feel like my favorite show, "The Sopranos". They conspired against anyone who stood in their way. I am that man who stood in their way.

Apocalipstic 03-04-2010 10:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Andrew, Jr. (Post 60739)
To me, right now, I am in a place where I feel like my favorite show, "The Sopranos". They conspired against anyone who stood in their way. I am that man who stood in their way.

Read what I posted in the PTSD thread to you.

Everything is OK, really!

The PTSD is kicked in for you. Maybe spend the day with your babies and really notice petting them and how much they love you.

That is what is important, not a group.

I promise.

Andrew, Jr. 03-04-2010 10:51 AM

Jen,

Yes, I am. I think a day away will do wonders for me. My twich is back, and I had night terrors last night. It is going full force. :twitch:

Thanks.

:bouquet:

Apocalipstic 03-04-2010 12:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Andrew, Jr. (Post 60754)
Jen,

Yes, I am. I think a day away will do wonders for me. My twich is back, and I had night terrors last night. It is going full force. :twitch:

Thanks.

:bouquet:

Yeah, take a day off for you! I do that often.

Hell, recently I took a week off from everyone. :)

violaine 03-10-2010 09:23 AM

[QUOTE=apocalipstic;60705]I wonder sometimes if I were neurotypical I would see things the same way and the same things would seem blaringly obvious.

what seems blaringly obvious to me is when NT's possess some odd sense of 'loyalty' to one another - even if all of the facts are not there , or even when another model is readily available to them. thinking outside of the box is not something i have experienced with many NT's.

i am writing about various family dynamics, friendships, and work environments - Sticking Together Policy- on unhealthy levels, for the sake of sticking together! like that is more important than opening up a mind to potential growth - or at least not ruling it out.












I have a difficult time with what feelings are and how they differ from thoughts.


Cyclopea, I really like the idea of a Safe Zone as long as everyone is welcome. :) Then, people who might be triggered by certain types of discussions could just avoid the Safe Zone?

Apocalipstic 03-10-2010 09:57 AM

[quote=violaine;64174]
Quote:

Originally Posted by apocalipstic (Post 60705)
I wonder sometimes if I were neurotypical I would see things the same way and the same things would seem blaringly obvious.

what seems blaringly obvious to me is when NT's possess some odd sense of 'loyalty' to one another - even if all of the facts are not there , or even when another model is readily available to them. thinking outside of the box is not something i have experienced with many NT's.

i am writing about various family dynamics, friendships, and work environments - Sticking Together Policy- on unhealthy levels, for the sake of sticking together! like that is more important than opening up a mind to potential growth - or at least not ruling it out.



I have a difficult time with what feelings are and how they differ from thoughts.


Cyclopea, I really like the idea of a Safe Zone as long as everyone is welcome. :) Then, people who might be triggered by certain types of discussions could just avoid the Safe Zone?

Yes, sometimes the loyalty seems to be to those they perceive have power somehow. Even if it is blatantly obvious that said persons are operating in their own toxic self interests.

Maybe it is fear of being perceived as an outcast or feeling alone?

There is the feeling word again. Are "feelings" and "feeling nauseated" or "feeling alone" the same thing?

violaine 03-10-2010 10:13 AM

NT and AT wiring [aspies, for example]- are so different in socialisation/survival areas. if an NT is hard wired for socialisation- peer pressure-being 'normal' and whatever schedule to follow from the Book of Codes for Normals, it makes sense that feeling like an 'outcast' would not be so good for an NT - it might mean that less people [in a group situation of NT's] find forgiveness for being human. making mistakes- and if one NT person turns their back on someone, how many times have you seen others do the same?

there are NT's who are less judgmental, not quick to take sides, or who do not follow the schedule from Book of Codes for Normals, et c. and there are also AT's who do obsess on being 'normal' - but where does that come from?


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