A few people have stated something along these lines, but I will add to the do not list..

Do not scream and rage at me in public and expect a reaction.. I shut down and if you think that means that I don't care or am not a Top, frankly, fuck you, I'm gone.

Do not scream at me and expect the same in return, again, I shut down and I'm confused and hurting at this point.

Do not think that just because I'm a switch that I can be pushed around.

Do not expect me to be a role.. I'm a human being and I have feelings and sometimes I just CAN'T be your Dad.

Do not belittle me in public. Not in front of friends and CERTAINLY not in front of or IN my work place.. Show some fucking class.

Do not expect me to be perfect and to be your Knight in shining armor.. Underneath that armor is a human being who can be a Knight but can also be a scared little boy.

That being said.. I still have a lot of hurt and anger going on.. Can you tell? lol

Dont stay up till you have to be at work in 2 hours processing emotions.

Go to bed.

Its ok to say I love you, but Im mad. And I need to sleep to clear my head.

Reapproach it tomorrow. After breakfast. And maybe even after talking it over with someone who can play devils advocate, or at least journal what your thinking

Remember you are on the same "team"


It diffuses the hight of the emotion a bit, for me.

Mind if I add one?
It's not a biggie, No paragraphs, no cynical tone....

Don't LIE

Why? Because eventually, I'll find out...
And when I do, try not to have a "wtf??" expression when I tell you to get fucked, get bent, go to your side of hell and stay the FUCK away me, it insults my intelligence.
:blink:

Or a 'he'. She's a SHE!

DO NOt Start talking to guys without telling your partner that you switched sides lol

Do not tell your partner that your extended family will now be living with you indefinitley and all of the animals that go along with said family tommorow...

yeah thats kinda a dealbreaker......

DO NOT............................. assume or think or presume you are perfect and infallible...and I promise I will try to remember I am not either.
Remember we got involved with each other for the same reason ,,we each saw something, liked something, loved something in each other...Now let us both do each other a favor and remember that when we see all the crap that comes with that something we fell in love with!

We have posted a lot of what not to do,soooo how about a fue of what too do.Hear are a fue of mine...

Understand if I am in a relationship with u it will be the first one that I have been in.Yeah,ive dated and had a fue women friends with benefits over the years,but we both knew what we were geting into cause nither wanted anything else..

My trust and heart are guarded by a gate with an iron lock,for me to open it u will be dificult in many ways because of being used,lied to,made a fool of ect,ect..give me time to realise its ok to let u in.

Understand that I dont do abuse in any way..I will be gone in a flash.

I was the abandond child who was barely part of the family.If it hadnt been for my grand folks and an aunt and uncle who passed way to soon I wouldnt know what a good relationship was

I grew up knowing two sets of rules to live by..theires and mine,in no way were they anywhere the same.

As we get to know each other please realise im going to have to get use to beleaving someone could really care enough to love me.

I havent had many soft places to fall,so if I dont let u in when u think I should have..lets talk it out,I promiss to do better next time.

Well these are a fue,no im not a basket case because of what ive gone thrue
cause over the years I have become who I am and am at peace with all the things life has thrown at me

DO NOT eat ALL the Salt and Vinegar chips!

ANDDD all MY er, I mean...the chocolate-
you will not 'cute' your way outta that.

ADONT be jealous of my femme friends. There are reasons they are my friends. They were in my past, some of them we had it out we made it through were loyal no matter what and made it to my present and will be there in my future. It raises a red flag to me if one is jealous of someones friends just sayin

Dont grose out when...I eat pickled pigs feet or pickled pork hocks,I dont do this much any more but onece in a while i gotta have some.

I love sour pickles and keep them by the galon.

I really dig red wine vinager,by the glas or over lettus

I cook with lots of garlic..if its too much for u let me know and I will cut it back a bit.

Salt and viniger chips are great but I dont eat them so much because of the high salt content

Yes,I have some strange eating habits.But I dont have high bp or colestol either.

dont bring a ouiji board in the house. Nor talk about dark spirits nor treat lightly magic of any kind. I dont want to be around when it bites you in the cosmic ass

I have an eclectic spirituality and my practices are wholesome and from light and love. Dont call me evil or a satanist..or I shall pretend to be one just to scare you as far away from me as possible


dont put on my lipstick...even as a joke. Unless you are dressing up as the Joker...

dont stop opening car doors for me. Even after 8 years. Or more...

When I strap on my cock, dont look at me and say.."what's that for" ?

YAY!
 

thi ha been a very informative thread. Thanks to everyone that has contributed!
i am sure we will have many more stories!

thanks all!
:fastdraq:

Do not belittle me in front of my friends and family. Your job is to always have my back, no matter what.

Do not be afraid of your emotions. I have them, you have them, everyone has them... and the only way we can have a good relationship is if we talk about them.

We are a team and in order to communicate effectively, problem solving will need to come into play. You will need to be a part of that process in order for us to be successful. Do not shut down and refuse to communicate. If you are angry, say so. Frustrated? Speak up.

Don't search through personal items. This is sooo disrespectful. :|

Duchess

dont ask me to compare you to FtMs if you are butch. Dont ask me to compare you to butches if you are FtMs. Dont question how I can call myself a lesbian if I have been with and could enjoy sex with CIS men.

dont chase the Golden O like its YOUR prize. Its MINE and I like the journey there as much, if not more than, the Golden O.

dont tell me to dye my hair. And dont tell me my silver makes me look old. It might make YOU look old but it doesnt make me look old...

OH those golden O's....they are a gift from the goddess and should be persued with sweet loveing care,truly the journey is as good as geting there.

Not related to a relationship, but I've got folks that will continue to call our girl pups 'he' long after I have repeatedly corrected them.

Don't make me repeat myself a thousand times (and wonder why I get more and more irritated with each repeat).

My mom was a big ppf fan. It grossed me out but she wasn't a fan of some of the things I ate either, so we let each off the hook. :)

I. Love. Pickles. :blink:

Unless of course one is referring to PAST relationships and not the current one.

Dont hash out the things your annoyed at me about-
with another femme.
Especially not a femme who thinks your the greatest thing since sliced bread



I will, of course, refrain from whining complaining and kvetching about YOU, to any butch who may be attractive, or has made it plain that you could be replaced.

One caveat to this~
I may hash my part of it out with my sponsor, and since hes an old queen, I dont think there will be any drama comming out of that, except for some perspective. I will, however, let you know Im working through stuff so you are not blind sighted when I have suddenly converted to reason and am no longer harping on whatever it is that Im processing.

Dont ask me to trust you with everything about my hopes and dreams and then when I tell you belittle them or me because of them. After all you did ask. Support me, as I do you. Doesnt matter how small you think they are.

Communicate with me about everything We are partners. Your opinion matters to me just as much as mine.

Dont lie. I dont care if its a white lie. Its still a lie. And it ruins relationships of all kinds. If you cant be honest with me your partner, theres a serious problem.

Dont push buttons that you know I have. I dont push on your insecurities dont push on mine.

Dont cheat. If Im not the man of your dreams fine tell me, and we can end it as friends as grown adults. Dont cheat.

Dont try and change me. If you think Im not enough for you move on. Dont be little who I am to try and mold me into who YOU think I should be.

Just because I will pamper you and love you unconditionally and be nothing but a mushy teddy bear when it concerns you, dont take it for my weakness.

Do NOT make me an option and expect me to make you my priority...

Dont tell me I look fat in anything. I am fat. I will look fat. If you are going to critique my clothing, talk about IT, not ME. Tell me it doesnt flatter me. Tell me the pleats are too much. Maybe you cant ID what it is you dont like. Tell me that! Dont tell me that there is something wrong with me when its the outfit you are commenting on

now, if you are going to critique me and tell me I am fat, you best qualify that. Too fat than when we first dated? Too fat to introduce your buddies to? Too fat for your exes to see and make comments about? Too fat for you to want to bring me home little candy treats anymore? What?

Dont expect me to like what you say if you are going to call me fat. But if you are serious and not just being mean, I will listen. I might not do a damn thing about it..but maybe I will. Maybe you are worried about my health or wondering why I gained that 10 lbs over xmas (forgetting the dozens of cookies I baked that you ate too) If its a kindness, i will indeed listen, but you need to know, I am never not going to be fat. I like my fat old self. I was skinny once, and damned near killed myself to be like that. Now I am 53, silver haired, ample bodied, sharp minded and smart as a whip...the least of your worries about me should not be that I am fat...lol...

Ms Softness if any butch doesnt recognize the beauty of who you are and is abusive to you in that light. They arent worthy of you. And that goes for all femmes... I could never imagine telling a femme she was fat. Or not introducing her to my friends. :) You know only best for you my sweet friend. :)

Mistie..I love ya! Its an old story and its over now...lol. LONG over, long time ago. But it still pertains to this thread, so I included it.

I dont think there will be another butch to ever make me sad again, honey. I would kiss you if I could....for the love you gave me here tonight...

and by the way, I look damn good fat...lol...

Like everyone else dont compare me to your exes. I am nothing like them. Im my own man and a damn good one. I can promise you that

Dont expect me to be superman 24/7 a week. Im human and I have my down time.