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Stones
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We can label subset ourselves all the way down till we can finally say there is no one else on the planet that exactly fits this label except me. But why? Even Mendel wanted some sort of outcome from all that segregating and assorting.:reader:
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wow its been a long time since i been in here.. heh ....
will read some more.... |
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Which ID are you taking issue with and why? These are ID's in common currency. Stone and transensual. I really don't follow your point. |
I feel like the context makes it pretty clear who I'm referring to, actually. I think people are intelligent enough to extrapolate from context without a zillion caveats and qualifications.
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response to fatallyblonde
Excellent post and extremely well-stated!
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hope you take this as impersonally and harmlessly as I intend it:
It just seems to me that if these IDs were in as common currency as suggested, there'd be a lot less confusion about them, as many of these threads indicate. We accept prima face that something useful is accomplished by all these labels being broken down into ever smaller subsets.. maybe there are diminishing returns in terms of confusion and the obliteration of our commonality. I'm just not so sure how useful it is to stick new prefixes on every noun in our vocabulary rather than just describing behaviours. Lately there has been a tendency to segregate and label just about all human behaviours so we can conveniently move on to the next label-able behaviour. I'm just not so sure this is useful. |
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I've tried to express my thoughts as best I can. Seems I've fallen short and for that I apologise. Thank you for your attention but I believe I've exhausted my abilities. Maybe next time. Thank you again.(w)
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Stone
I know who I am and what I feel. I came up with no words to call anything. I acted on what I felt and learned along the way. I grew up in a world where almost everything I liked was perverse in the mainstream. I went through the angst of wondering wtf was wrong with me. I went to therapy to try and fix this 'wrong'. I lost a lot of partners because I went through the motions and ended up feeling invisible and empty. There was no stone label in my day.
I know who I am and what I like. I remember clearly the day and time I said NO MORE to denying my self. I finally felt free. I am stone and I've heard a lot of feedback on my behaviors and feelings, not on the label. There is nothing wrong with me. I see posts about confidence, hard won or otherwise. My truth is that we all come into our own, and whatever that is, whatever we choose to call it, and however we got here, when you can own yourself and love who you are that freedom to just 'be' beats all! I love my stne self! just sayin' :hangloose: |
Hey
Your post is complex! R u a stone butch or r u looking for a stone butch??? There is a huge difference in the contest. Just letting u know. From vida!
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Vida, if you look under the person's name you can see how they ID :)
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A Beautiful and profound post in relation to Stone Butches |
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...... who has read the ever so popular "Stone Butch Blues " yes ?? no ??? here is a link to download a free copy of the whole book. Merry Christmas .. :byebye: http://www.lesliefeinberg.net |
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RIP Leslie Feinberg |
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I remember starting to read this to someone years ago, but I never got a chance to finish it. Thank you for posting the link. |
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I am working on it right now actually! |
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I never read it and always intended to get around to it. Now I will. :moonstars: |
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I am glad that I read it. |
Seems like a lifetime ago when I read it. It was like reading a foreign language. It didn't become more clear until many years later when I began exploring my butch side.
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I am an old stone butch. Back in the day, as they say, I was told by other stones in my area that stone meant the butch had no desire to be penetrated and the femme had no desire to penetrate anyone. There could be any varying degree of what boundary the butch or femme had as to touching the butch in any other way and they needed to state their boundaries to each other..but it was generally true that a stone butch did not want their junk touched at all..no touching below the waist. Some of us wanted no touching of any female part on our bodies. The butch usually looked a bit more masculine physically, i.e more narrow hips, masculine dress, but it was not always the case, and the femmes...well they just looked like str8 women pretty much.
The same was true for the mentality , with butches having a more masculine way of thinking, but not necessarily just like biological males, and femmes just, well, thinking like girls. Everything seems to be a bit more fluid these days and I am no longer sure what exactly stone can be defined as, or even if sexuality can be defined and labeled at all. All I know is I have always identified as stone,and still qualify by the old definition easily, so stone I am lol |
You're not kidding! Seems like... back in the day... titles / labels / whatever ... had pretty discrete definitions. Now... if you offer up a title / label / whatever it becomes a whole discussion. lol <-- not a bad thing but ya know... :|
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Sexuality has definitely become UBER fluid! :phonegab: Quote:
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Stone
I totally agree with Stoyc .
I read Stone Butch Blues and also met Leslie in Buffalo at one of her meets. My book is signed by her "In memory of Stonewall". She was a wonderful speaker and had quite a crowd. She is sorely missed by all that were touched by her words. RIP Leslie. |
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I was told that that was difference between a Stone Femme and a Stonefemme. |
For me stone means constant so relating fluid to stone doesn't resonate with me at all, but to each their own.
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Wait... what??? So... "Touch me!" and "Don't touch me!" are separated by a wee lil space??? lol :blush:
Okay... so... if I meet I gal who's femme and stone ... I'll be sure to have her write it out.... so I'll know which one she means. :p I'm not laughing in your direction Gemme! I'm just laughing us... humans... we're so complicated and funny! Particularly when it comes to sex! ;) Quote:
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I think the distinction between Stone Femme and Stonefemme could be useful, but it doesn't seem to me that everyone uses them and/or distinguishes between them in the same way. I've seen both used by femmes who partner with stone butches.
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Example: Let's eat, Grandma! or Let's eat Grandma! |
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I am a stone femme ~ I love penetration , I don't have a desire to penetrate my lover. Everyone is different. We all just have different desires.~
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You are so right! ;)
My thought was ... it's two very different meanings with (essentially) the same name... when spoken. Which is why I said I'd have to have the gal write down her preference. Iol Written down... then I'd know if she was with a space or without a space femme. :p Quote:
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I am a STONE DADDY and exit only please.lol love a Stone Femme who is all about penetrationbut recieving only.. communication is key.. likes dislikes hard limits.. that sort of thing..
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Oh...well in my area in the old days we called a stone femme who didn't like to be penetrated a Diamond Femme, and a stone butch who liked to remain fully clothed at all times (strapped on outside of clothing) was a Granite Butch.
I neither the butch nor the femme wanted to penetrate/be penetrated, well, we just called them lesbians. That is no longer appropriate, I think, because their are just so many different aspects to how people identify and you can't really throw a single blanket term out there and have it truly mean anything to the younger generations. I guess we were just woefully under informed about our sexuality and even the nature of it when I was young. |
I think that these days, labels are a general "alert" ( probably the wrong word) as to what a person feels comfortable with, to narrow the dating pool down a tad.
The only way to really know, is to discuss. Even then, for some, it depends on the person and the situation. By the time you are ready to have sex of any type, a clear and open discussion should have already been had. I do training at my job (one of my hats) about HIV/AIDS and it still amazes me the number of people that tell me that they have sex first and ask the questions after or tell me "but he or she looked clean". I have straight men/straight women/transfolk/lesbians and gays; so it is everyone not always having those open and honest discussions. By that point, uh oh. Yes, there are many different sexual identities and desires for lesbians, too. |
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You have two cans of food. One has a label and one doesn't. The one without the label could be anything, good or bad or a combination of both, but at least you have an idea of what might be in the other can, even if the label is faded and worn or half torn off. You at least have a clue of what you might be in for. I get what you are saying about an 'alert'. Labels give me a general idea of what someone's likes/dislikes/limits might be but without a good conversation filled with hard and honest questions, one will not know for sure. Never make assumptions, though. |
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