Feeling
 

I feel better now that I am home and facing a 4 day weekend. I need the rest.

Somewhat shitty...but a hopeful shitty. :)

I'm feeling like a part of my heart is gone. We buried Brandy Rebecca today and I have not stopped crying yet. Thank you to everyone for their kind words! It means a lot to me.

A feeling of accomplishment today
And I'm feeling full, about ate to much

I am so sorry friend.

I feel a little giddy...

Feeling
 

I really hope that I am having an allergy attack and did not catch a cold from my coworker.

Good and will be even better if I can get my chores done by 10am.

Energetic... And going to go do something about it. :byebye:

When somebody told me I lived in the fantasy land I nearly fell of my unicorn! lol ;)

Hopeful - I'm making good progress on my final paper
Excited - 5 more weeks til World Series of Poker trip to Vegas!
Anxious - 1 more week until I start my new job, and take on the task of studying for 3 licenses, on top of my regular school work! Eeeeek!

Today has been a great day...am feeling very content.

I just want to cry....... There's a 5 years old inside me.... a 5 year old holding a gun... hidden in the pantry watching through the key hole.... listening for the approaching horror.... waiting on the edge of the utter hell that is about to swallow us all....a 5 year old that grew up over night and became an adult, a fighter, a thinker, an overachieve, an impossible you say - let me prove you wrong- free rock climber of life without safety ropes....

I haven't cried for ages, decades at the time... I was trained well... push it down, shut it off, run, run for your life... don't let them get you....RUN, don't let them touch you... Run, run, run, run, save yourself, run... and don't look back.... for g-d sake don't look back.... hold them, comfort them, burry them, get up... shake it off...run...run, run, run, until you're safe....

Is there such thing as a safe place under the skies of this universe?

Once a refugee, always a refugee. Is that how this shit works?

I am not sure I know how to do this anymore.... Will it ever get better... will the wounds ever stop bleeding... will I ever have a shot at being blessed with ignorance of "normal" life?

What is normal after all, who knows? I have numbed my soul, shut off my heart, all that's left to do is to rip the bitch the fuck out and destroy any last particles of it once and for all destroy it all for good.

When the first war happened my father said, "remember the only thing they can never take away from you is what you got in your head and in your heart"..... What is I simply no longer what what's in my heart??? What is I no longer want to feel anything that humans feel? What is I just want IT to STOP?

Is there a way to keep breathing beyond this point?

a little like a top... spinning fast...

Feeling
 

I feel sick with an achy body, stuffed up, coughing, and sore throat. I ate breakfast and now I am having hot tea.

Yuck!

:cough:

Pretty pissed off...

I really hate working first shift. The aides are all trifling bitches. And I saw one yesterday making a coughing man take a drink of water. And heard the kitchen staff being short with one of my favorite ladies. People seriously don't want to test me. I'm in no fucking mood.