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Taken Out Of Context...
The posts coming out of LR 2011 made me think of starting this thread so that some of the fun can continue after the event...
Quotes taken out of context can take on so many different meanings. Here's a space to post the ones that make you laugh the hardest or just leave you shaking your head... One rule: Be kind to each other. Examples: Overheard at work: "Oh my God, I've never heard of one that BIG!" Overheard at the market: "Sometimes they're not as firm as I'd like." |
From my dear friend BillyD moments ago:
"I'm fishing through with my fingers and I couldn't find anything" |
"Sometimes you just have to jump in there and get a little dirty, yanno?"
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Adam Richman...
"I'm leaving, I'm taking my pork and my butterfish with me." |
context unknown
" i've got 3 big ones and they are all smooshy" |
"If he brings it out to me, I'm getting drunk tonight"...
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Quote:
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"you took it out,you can put it back in"
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Oh my you sure had to do some talking, to talk yourself into this one.
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Overheard at Walgreens:
"Honey, that doesn't make it wet enough" |
if its not tight going in you will need to get a bigger one
overheard at work "bitch if i slap it any harder my hand will go thru it" |
"Don't close that! Can't you tell I'm still digging around in there?"
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Why does it have to be so hard?? It hurts
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Something I said today to my Mom that could have been taken out of context:
"Did you put the lotion on her skin?" |
i'll get more on the backside.
its amazing how far it can spread |
In check out line next to the one I was in I heard this,
I sure hope you thought this through, because it's too late to change your mind now. |
No not that one, I like the short ones that wiggle when they shake.
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Overheard at a Moroccan restaurant.....
"We all got our hands wet at the same time!" |
My friend BillyD....
"Dave is rubbing it in and washing it out..." |
Gemme: You should smell the brown. Sometimes it can be root beer but sometimes it can be shit.
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Eeeeww NO WAY! She looks like Alice from the Brady Bunch, only shorter and fatter.
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What's with the matching suspenders and dorky hats?
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Lay still. I'll tell you when i'm done!
she could suck you dry |
From a customer today:
"I'm ready Hollylane...go ahead and give it to me slowly" :| |
overheard at work
OMG Dave was hard, but Dustin was harder! me...what???????? her.......oh no, I meant Dave smacked my butt hard, but Dustin smacked it harder! |
From LMFAO
"The say I look yummy and they want a taste But I'm a human not a sandwhich." |
I guess it's better than nothing. I guess.
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Do you think we could convince them that slapping each others' face is the new high five?
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if u bend over,it will stretch out!
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I tried that soft bendy thing with Glyn two years ago.
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Quote:
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"Dave's Big and Juicy"
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From some Dude in the :| thread:
"so the last 1-3 inches is not such a bitch to dig out of there?" |
Morbid customer comment taken out of context....
"Like Sonny in the sense that I don't want to run into that tree!" |
at work this week
-"ok....open her up nice & slow"
-"Tim likes my nuts" -"did you play with your balls last night?" -"they were out back...trying to find waldo" -"the stripper is dirty again" |
I thought of this thread when I heard this in a meeting: "oh wow! I could have used what I had and stayed in there."
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A thoughtful co-worker shared:
"I just wiped up after the Lumberjack incident." :| |
"Just get in there and fix it!"
AVP on a conference call Me to a BA, "just come over. it won't take long." I needed to show them I could reproduce the defect at will. |
You are so right, my head is really huge.
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What the hell did you do to that chicken?
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