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How do you "come down" from a bad day?
I'm a substitute teacher, while completing my classes for my masters', and needless to say, it's very stressful. I have had near-fights break out in my classroom, trouble with classroom management (I wouldn't frighten a flea), and feeling like I'm not doing any one thing well, professionally and personally.
What I am asking is, how do you transition from work with all its stresses to home life, without breaking out the fudge ripple or snapping at your partner? I feel like I bring too much of work home with me, and then I'm in for a stressful evening with little time for myself. Then it's go to bed in dread of the next day. I need a change. How do you let work stay at work, and then get calmed down for bed? I don't have anyone, so that avenue is out ;). On the plus side, I do enjoy yoga and meditation to "warm up" in the morning. It's worth getting up earlier for that. |
It's a proven fact that petting animals lowers one's blood pressure. So, pet your pet if you have one. Play with it and it give your attention and affection. Focusing on something joyful like tug-a-war or fetch with your pet is a great stress reliever. Besides that love and affection will be returned 100 times over! If you don't have one, you might want to consider getting one :)
Also, a movie or music can be relaxing too. Or, reading a really good novel. That's a great way to escape from your stresses. ~~~shark~~~~~~~ |
Being a substitute is hard work; I commend you for trying. I know you don't get paid to do this, but try it if you're willing...
Get there about 45 minutes early so you have the day's plan down pat; that should keep you from feeling like you're winging it. And then stay as long as you need to get the report written up and everything organized. Don't rush out of there if you don't have to. Again, I know you don't get paid for that extra time; but I really believe it's important to take time in the morning to *know* the day's plan and then take time at the end of the day to put it all in order........and let it go. That's important; once you walk out of that room leave what happened in there *in there*. Maybe physically shut the door to symbolize shutting out the tension of the day??? Not sure how you feel about exercise, but I bet a 10-minute jog or 20-minute vigorous walk would do wonders for releasing a lot of that stress. I spent a lot of years in the classroom, and a lot of those years taking classes as well. I *know* how hard your days are. You definitely need to come up with some strategies to manage the stress and, most importantly, take care of *you*. Best wishes... |
What Thinker said about planning ahead is great advice
I also like to work out with a heavy bag and smack the crap out of it, it really helps release tension. I also do small things to pamper myself on my lunch like listen to great music, look at beautiful things on my computer or phone, have a short meditation I also use my time in the car as cool down and reset time, sometimes I scream in my car if it is really bad. By the time I get home usually the initial cranky ass part is diffused. Good luck |
I worked in health care/mental health for decades. When I took work home with me, it was either because something particularly hideous occurred or, there was something I felt I could have handled better. Either way, for the ride home, my listening pleasure was classical music if I needed to just mellow out, a comedy tape (yes we used tapes back then) if I needed to laugh, or something by Loretta LaRoche if I needed a kick in the butt. Once home, physical activity was a necessity.... a walk on the beach, bike ride, trip to the gym, raquetball game. The activity seemed to expel the excess energy and calm my mind enough for me to relax and be able to process what I needed to. A hot shower or bath as kind of a ritual washing away of the days crap helped. A hearty meal followed by a calming movie or good book helped as well. |
There's a reason I call my home place "Peaceful Ridge".
I wind down by sometimes taking a nap. Also, watching the birds, piddling in the yard, watching the news to remind me others had a lot worse day than I did. I try to keep in mind that life is only 10% what happens to you it's 90% how you react to it. With this in mind, when I walk thru that turn stile at work I hang my work hat and attitude on the inside of the fence and put on my home hat. When I walk in the door at home I'm greeted by a frenzy of crazy puppy love by 3 adorable critters who adore their Daddy and typically all the stress of the workday fades away. |
Alcohol........LoL
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the gym and the jacuzzi
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pets is a awsome idea...... but another idea.....to unwind a bit...... scrabble.. lol |
What works best for me is to take the time to be still and quiet - lets me clear my mind. Whether that means being outside listening to the soothing sounds of nature or at home in my favourite comfy chair. Either way it usually doesn't take long for me to come in for a landing.
Still there are times when my job can get pretty intense, leaving me feeling like my head is going to explode and I can't really talk to anyone about the details of the day because of attorney/client confidentiality. So if it's been particularly heinous day I will sit down, write it all out and then burn or bury the paper. Never tearing it - don't want to scatter that stuff back into my world. As always there is smudging, incense, candles and meditation. |
I'm a full time teacher, and I like my job a lot, but being a sub is very hard.
Thinker's suggestions are great; the more time you have in the classroom to get oriented, the better you'll feel when kids start arriving. It might help to spend a few minutes in the classroom at the end of the day, tidying, leaving a note for the regular teacher, erasing the board. You'll have a sense of closure for the day and that is very difficult when you're a sub. Anyway, you asked us what we do to relax when we get home! While it is very tempting to pull out the Haagen Daz, for me, I usually feel crappy when I use food to soothe me. That doesn't mean I never do it, but I need to feel refreshed when I wake up, very early in the morning. I don't think I have any great ideas to suggest. I always fantasize about taking a nap, but if I don't do that early in the evening, it ruins my night's sleep. I tend to be able to get a lot done, but I'm like a toddler. All of a sudden I crash, and then I can't budge, can't tidy, can't cook. I think there's a better way. |
I am a software engineer. I love my job - it is fun to me. Sometimes people who sit around me get too noisey. This stresses me because it shreds my concentration. I went CUJO (rabid dog) on a friend of mine the Thursday before Christmas. I hated it but his loud mouth worked that last strand of a nerve I had left that morning. Then after Christmas, I called him out to the warehouse in an effort to smooth it over and damn, we almost locked up again. I am always ready to apologize and admit fault when I am able to see it but will not grovel before anyone. I had dropped several hints to this fellow about his noise over the course of a couple of months earlier. It was not like he was clue-free. Thank goodness I said a prayer to the Good Spirit beforehand to help me stay civilized. I am not religious at all but when I ask for help from this entity ("The Good Spirit" that I made up) then it is my responsibility to do my part. This works for me and that is what matters.
At this particular job, it is mainly a male oriented environment. I will not have guys run over me - I am an equal. This does not sit well with some of the guys who have stated computer science is not for women. I just blow it off. Ignorant comments like this do not affect me. I'll bet there were conversations about "the dyke" who went psycho just before Christmas. *chuckling to self* I was one pissed off stone butch that day. What others think of me is really not a concern of mine. I do not "make nice" in order to be liked or get approval. To de-stress, I come home, fix a cup of General Foods International coffee that I keep for special times. I call it my after work toddie. LOL! Then I sit on the floor, hug and play with my dogs. Normally in about 30 minutes to an hour, after much affection from Kelly and Kevin, my head is clear, calm ... I am okay. Swell idea for a topic. :) |
Good sex...even if it's solo :D
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adding on to previous post ...
The apology to the guy at work went like this ...
I told him I was sorry about the way I handled myself that day and that I wished I had behaved differently when I let him know I had had enough. The apology was not about being sorry for getting ruffled at his loudness. |
Watching WEC,,Aldo vs Faber is my favorite!!!http://i900.photobucket.com/albums/a...SMILIES/14.gif
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Usually having a glass of wine while preparing an involving meal helps me relax a lot. If it's been a day from hell, going to the gym works wonders.
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Love this topic...
I work from home, so being able to switch gears is critical for my sanity. Some of my colleagues are firing off emails at 2 a.m. and working 7 days a week. They're also the ones we get the email about... "so and so is pursuing opportunities outside of *company*. Please join us in wishing them well." I multi-task all day long...bouncing between work, online play (like now), household and kid responsibilities...until it's time for work to end. I do that by the clock...and it's 5 p.m. unless I have a critical conference call. Then I will work until the end of that call, period. I will quickly jot down any tasks I'm responsible for or notes I need for the next morning, then I'm done. I never, ever, ever spend more time at work than a normal day...or I'll end up being one of those burned out colleagues. For me, longevity is the most important thing...and work is a marathon, not a sprint. So....when it's time to quit for the day...I flag any emails that haven't been resolved from the day, I add new tasks to my "to do" list, and then I shut down my computer and close the lid. I do not go back to that desk until the next morning. The "dividing" activity for me is always the same...dinner preparation. Whether I'm cooking or running to KFC, the act of getting dinner is the dividing line. Work stays on the other side, in it's own little mental compartment. I don't think about it, or generally talk about it, at all once dinner is underway. Once dinner is being prepared, it's all about home and kids and partner...whether that's helping with homework, watching TV, reading a book, whatever. I'm the same on vacations and weekends. If you talked to me while I'm on a weekend or a vacation...you wouldn't even think I had a job. :) |
I leave work at the door as I exit the building. Always.
After I get into the car, I crank up the music as loud as I can, sing at the top of my lungs, and decompress on the 1/2 hour trip to pick up my daughter from school. I may look like a loon driving down the road, but when I get home there is only happy on my mind. :eatinghersheybar: Oh, and chocolate helps too! |
Your post reminded me of my adventures in substitute teaching in New York. My first day involved an attempted stabbing by a third grader with safety scissors. :|
I have since moved on to different adventures. Now my stress comes from the men in my life. That is, being the only female working amongst 30 or so men. And, having to constantly convince men that yes, this little girl does know what she's talking about, and can drive a stick better than you! Long hot baths with a glass of wine and some reading material help with the cool down. But, I've found that doing my laundry helps me come down too! I hope you find something that sooths you! N |
to ask for a beating. Seems to work....
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Sometimes.... on particularly hard days....
take a "drive" down Route 66; it's a great way to shed some serious tension. Other days.... I love nature and finding a private peaceful place, like a wildlife refuge, to take a long hike with Willy Bear. And lots of cuddles with all the critters. I love their antics and they make me laugh even on the worst of days. Focusing on some hobbies like my photography; working on my scripts for childrens books made from my favorite memories; planning a weekend camping trip or trip to the mountains (I love camping alone where I can find lots of peace and secluded nature)....or cooking an elaborate meal that feels REALLY good (nothing like comfort food!). Late at night, when I can't go for a hike...I love watching documentaries with beautiful cinematography and stunning shots of beautiful places; SciFy movies (and other unusual movies) and MASH reruns. I have the whole collection of MASH and have watched every episode so many times that it's like reading an old favorite book.... it puts me right to sleep. |
I talk on the phone or I play word games here on the planet!
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[nomedia="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=km7aItGwz0I&sns=em"]YouTube - Flea bass solo with Chad[/nomedia] |
I hold substitute teachers WAY UP...just like I do elementary teachers!!
After having taught for a good 25+ years, and did a little substitute work myself, I admire You! First, if I had a planned absence, as their teacher, I would inform the kids I would be gone. I would ALso tell them that I expected a good report. More often than not, I got one. It was like the "wait til your FATHER gets home" thing for me. :) But they knew they would catch hell if I got a bad report from a sub. AS a sub, I would always arrive early to get myself settled in. I would involve one or more kids ~ You can tell which ones are the hellions...and I would always ask them. Also....I would tell them ~ at the end of the day, if you wanna pop back in, I'll be listening to some music before I go home ~ kinda 'shuts down my day here'....if you wanna join me, that'd be great. If they wanted to do that, I'd write them a note so they could get back down at the end of the day. I had as many as 10 kids just sitting with me, listening to music, winding down together. Are you paid to do that. Nope. But did it make a difference? Yep. And that's a better paycheck, if you ask me. |
Currently, I have anywhere from a half hour to an hour commute each way, depending on when I'm hitting the roadways. I listen to the radio and, when feeling sassy, talk back to it and/or sing along with it. It does help some.
Playing online here, in the silly and game threads, makes for a good "zone out" time for me. Time with friends can help. Listening to my MP3 player and bopping about helps sometimes. Sometimes, nothing but a big bowl of ice cream or popcorn and a movie will work. There is not just "one" thing that works for me all of the time. Different situations warrant different approaches. I can leave work happy, exhilerated, sad, defeated, depressed, angry, frustrated and/or numb. Each emotion has a different 'cure'. |
I work in elder care but for the most part my cliants are really good to be around,BUT..,there are a fue who I just have to smile and take a deep dreath to deal with.Those who arent as nice to deal with are mostly men who are rude obnauchas(sp..its 2:00am k)and down right potty mouth.The days I do all I can but still have a bad day I crank the radio up to rattle the windows in my car...I play Jerry Lee Louis to the hilt and sing along ,then I end up at the pool hall.The first fue trables are called rack em and slam em...it dose help.Then I can settle down to some serious pool games wich takes all the stress away cause I can think of anything but the game when im playing.Next I go home and spend some really fun time with my fur kids who always make me feel better no mater what.A nice shower,dinner and im good.
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When I worked a trip with nature on a long walk did the trick most days. A weekend trip to the mountains helped a lot too. And animals, petting them and telling them what was on my mind. And I would listen to NPR on the way home always took my mind off the stress of work.
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I just kick some ass
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♫ music is most definitely my escape ♫
also, time with my children, time with friends, going for a brisk walk or exercise of any kind.. meditation is a must for me, and although i hate admitting it, food makes me feel better lol.. i'm an emotional eater, bigtime.. but i'm striving to find better avenues to deal with my stress haha... reading , or some nice quiet time, to sit and think things through, focus on some positive things that boost me.. usually some deep conversations with friends will help get me to a better place.. oh and nothing like taking in nature, being outdoors, feeling & smelling the fresh air - watching the beauty all around you... being outdoors is something that always picks me up.. but, nothing beats turning my music up nice & loud and sylly dancing all over this place, singing it out like no one's watching!! *smiles* |
definately music! i also like spending time with my kitties and petting them
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martini's and mafia wars
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I never thought...
that I would be posting in a thread like this....but here I am, posting, trying to find some light at the end of the tunnel, trying to get through today without breaking down and crying
when I wake up when I get dressed on my way to work during my workday on my way home when I walk my dogs when I'm talking to friends who are trying to help me get through this when I'm talking to my kids, who try to console and comfort me when I sit here staring blankly at the screen when I try to eat when I get my bath when I get dressed for bed as I fall asleep I'm realizing, even though I'm the one who ended it, it's not easy at all. (Somehow, I've always thought it would be less painful.) It hurts like the dickens. It hurts more than I thought it would. Even knowing all that I know, all the reasons it won't work, all the reasons it could never work - it still hurts, and I still want him, and I still miss him every moment of everyday, every night when I could hear him snoring. I still miss the silly texts, and the corny jokes, and wake up phone calls over his breakfast, I miss him jetting into an office or a hallway, or outside for a quick smoke so he could call me just to tell me he was missing me and needed to hear my voice, to tell me how much he loved about me. Walking away or running away, depending on how you look at it - it's harder than you think. Maybe soon, it will feel liberating. Maybe soon. But will it be soon enough? How do I come down from a bad day? I just want to know how to get up. |
I have the luxury of going outside anytime I want here at work for a little fresh air and sunshine and I did just that as soon as I got here this morning and saw my inbox.
It's amazing what a few deep breaths can do. I will also add that when I am driving home between work and home, I sometimes put my phone on silent and turn off the radio if I'm feeling a sensory overload that day so that I can have 10 minutes of "quiet time" before I get home and start my list of "to do's". |
Music!
Quiet Time A walk A good ol fashion cry, hot shower, & soft wooby :baby: |
A long hot shower.
A nice meal. Quiet. (no telly. no internet. no phone.) Retreat to bed with a good book and a cuppa tea. A long walk with my dog, even when I don't feel like it; its good for both of us and that can be motivation enough. Spending an evening with my best Femmes always lifts my spirits. A mindless film or trashy tv show marathon. Daydreaming online: cruising chi-chi villa rentals in Sicily, "planning" a 'round-the-world trip, looking at pretty shoes... |
When the world is too much, I let K know. I turn off all my gadgets, get a cigar, a cheesy sci-fi novel, a good beer and sit outside watching the world go by with the puglets. On the rare extreme stress day, I grab my bike and just aimless bike around thinking of nothing.
I rarely have issues with stress these days because I've landed in a job that lets me do what I need when I want and that flexibility has done wonders for my stress. Compared to where I was 15 years ago where I worked 6-7 days a week, 12-16 hours a day at a small firm my life and work life is far more relaxing and easier to address. |
I hear a good flogging works wonders for stress management, but I suppose that's for another thread. :whip:
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Painting takes me away.......
Also, gettin' my hands in the earth does it for me, too. I agree with those who have said they turn off their 'gadgets'.........the best "songs" in the world are those the birds are singing right outside my window. |
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laughter is the best medicine!
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