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Mental Illness
I really think we should have a place where we can discuss and get support here. So many people think of this as an excuse when there are some of us who take medication daily and struggle to lead "normal" lives. Even if you just discuss what medication you are on and how it helps you or medication you were on what it did. Or...If you have found a way to cope without the need of medication. I have a feeling that we have more people out there than just me who need support. Even my own parents thought of this as an excuse until I fully explained what I go through in my head just to function.
I seriously hope others come here and back me in this and we can start a thread that really helps others. It is so needed. Giving help and hope to those in need, Jedi |
[QUOTE=June;95105]Jedi - I totally agree, this is a great idea for a thread. Just a couple of things:
1. Please only speak of your own personal experiences, not those who you think might be mentally ill. They get to tell their own stories, or not. 2. Remember, this is a public website, so it's not truly a "safe" space. Keep that in mind when posting about your experiences and disclose only what you feel comfortable sharing with -potentially- the rest of the world. :junesmiley:[/QUOTE June, That was all I intended. I only want to here from those who take may or may not take meds but struggle daily as I do. Jedi] |
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Hey there Jedi! There is another thread on mental Illness that Darth Benkay started, I will try to find it later.
But on the subject of meds I have a long history. I had a bad experience on lithium and several related drugs in my 20's, which I finally stopped taking "cold turkey". I can't even put into works how hard it was and the harm it caused me mentally. For many years I refused meds, but finally after much reading and reflection I started on SSRI's with really good results. When I stop taking my meds I am too anxious and frozen to even leave the house. Yes I do have some side effects, mainly weight gain, but I would rather be fat than too crazy to leave the house. I take Lexapro, Cymbalta and have Ativan for anxiety. I have way cut back on the Ativan though over time, which I am proud of. I go to a therapist and we are working on brain-spotting for my PTSD and removing as many things from my life which make me anxious as I can. Relearning behaviors, setting boundaries and so forth. Great idea for a thread JediMaster. No worries with the spelling! |
Hi Jedi! Good to see you bro! I take multiple meds for various health problems I have (diabetes, heart disease following a heart attack, high blood pressure, etc.), depression, anxiety, and neurological deficits that I have. I don't live a lie, and am very open about my health and how it sudden has gone from good to piss poor. I find it very frustrating when other people gossip about me being a drug user and abuser. Sheesh. No, I am not. It is all under the care of many doctors. Believe you me. I am footing the bill. I find it heart breaking when I think about the psychiatrist who broke the Hippa laws thinking it was ok to discuss my issues openly with my parents (my father is a retired physician). I think of the ol' boys club. And that is what it was like for me. I tried many therapists, but none really helped me. The damage was done. The hurt is greater than the wound if that makes sense. I have limits and boundaries that I have set in place. I have discussed all of this with my current doctors and have legal documents in hand barring my parents from any interference with my healthcare now. I find it interesting that living a life of integrity is more peace-filled than I ever can imagined before. I also will tell you that if you lock onto my name, go do a search of the posts I have done already, and you will find us at the other thread we are on that Apocalipstic told you about. It is very good. Namaste, Andrew |
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I'M SORRY FOR WHAT YOU WENT THROUGH. That being said...I wanna hear from those who also take meds and try to live "normal lives." It never seems to be ok to jusdt be mentally ill anymore. You have to have other illnesses on top of it. Mine don't debilitate me but could if I let them. i fight so hard not to be a statistic. I would love to be recognized for that. I know that isn't really gonna be the case......but I fight nonetheless. Jedi |
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I get up, take my meds and go to work every day! We should be proud that we overcome incredible odds to exist every day! |
Yes we do! We take our meds, and go on living as best we can. We live life fully. It is the other folks who have the issues with us. They think of us as freaks, or wacko. I have heard it all. The negative stigma is overwhelming at times. People always disappoint me. Always. :overreaction: Remember health is a gift. Having exceptional health is something to be treasured. |
Today was a rough day. I did many things I don't normally do. My roommate who is in wheelchair had a rough day where her chair died. i rescued her. Why am I the rescuer for so many....including an ex who really hurt me to my core?
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Mental illness parties with your life and sticks you with the bill...
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As for mental illness itself, most people know me and know what I have been through the last couple years. I've always (as far back as I can remember) struggled with mental illness, eventhough I never really knew that's what my problem was. I just thought I was a bad person who gave in to some promiscuity, drained my bank accounts, lived dangerously and impulsively, and just in general made bad choices. In April of 2008, after being in a "bad" relationship, I had yet another run in with the "s" word. (Suicide.) I ended up in the psych ward for a few weeks. That's where I learned that I had a laundry list of previously undiagnosed mental health issues, the main being Bipolar. I was shocked to learn that this illness had been a major factor in all those "bad" decisions I had made in my life. I was started on medications and thanks to group and individual therapy I began learning how to cope. I returned to work but had to see a therapist and psychologist at least 3 times a week, since I was newly diagnosed. My employer was very generous and understanding in the beginning, or so I thought. A couple months later, I received a call at home from the main optometrist in the office I worked at. I was told this: "We have tried to be understanding of your illness but it just isn't working out. Don't bother coming back to your job, you have already been replaced." Wow.. I had only had one day off that week, so it made me wonder how long they had been looking for my replacement. Losing my job meant losing the excellent insurance benefits that came with it. I was really worried about how I was going to continue treatment. Luckily, I discovered a nonprofit mental health facility in my hometown. I began treatment there, which was really great. They handled my therapy, my medications, and also assigned me an "advocate" who helped me in day to day living, so to speak. Things were looking up. I had a few setbacks, but things were finally evening out. Then the inevitable seemed to happen... I have had no treatment or medication since June of 2009. The nonprofit facility shut its doors due to an employee embezzling all of their funds. I went to my weekly appointment to find a note taped to their door, explaining the situation. No apology. No referrals to other agencies. Nothing. There have been no other services available in my area. (A very rural area.) I have tried as recently as two weeks ago to see if any new services have come available. Two Fridays ago I went to our county's health and social services offices. They were really friendly until I asked about mental health services. I was promptly "shoo'd" out of their offices. I guess mentioning mental health to them equates to "omg, a raving psychotic maniac in our presence". I'm not quite sure what to do now. I've been trying to train my mind with the exercises I learned in the hospital and from tips I've learned while researching online. I admit that I am doing better now than I was this time last year, but I still need help. I have days when I can't get out of bed. I have days when I have "awakened" from a "trance", and felt pain in my arm. I look down at my arm to realize that I had been digging my fingernails down my inner forearm until the skin is hanging, and blood dripping. I have days when I am so manic that I literally want to pull my hair out strand by strand, because I am so anxious and my mind will NOT stop! Luckily, the "s" word hasn't creeped up on me in months. Even that small step is momentous to me, because I have been attempting suicide on different occasions since age 10. (The first attempt that I remember.) I have so many symptoms, so many phobias, so many "hang-ups". And as of this year I can add hallucinations (auditory and visual) to the list. I'm scared. I know what I am capable of if left to my own devices. I know I need help and treatment. But unfortunately, it's just not available for me right now. I am lucky, however, that I have a very good support team made up of friends and family. If it weren't for them, I know this road would be even more challenging. |
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Dixie, Maybe if you feel comfortable posting about where you are (general area?) located, some of the BFP'ers may have some resources in which you can access. Or, perhaps, there are people who know Dixie and or can PM her with some options? I am sorry to hear of the unavailability of resources/treatment at the moment. I am hoping, with this post, some will offer advice/suggestions/options. All the best to you and everyone. |
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Hi, dixielady. I am sorry that the nonprofit agency in your area (I am assuming it was a community mental health center?), closed its doors. The county is responsible for its residents and so the people who were going to that center, must have gone somewhere? I assume that you either have Medicaid, or are uninsured? If you have Medicaid, you can call them/look online, and they will give you a list of providers in your area. Medicaid actually pays better than most private insurances (for outpatient mental health treatment), so you should be able to find private practitioners in your area that do take Medicaid. If you are uninsured, the county/NC has to supply you with something, or approve you going to another county. What did the people at Health and Social Services tell you? If you have a Mental Health and Hygiene Department, check them out. Otherwise, contact Health and social services again and push the issue. Again, the clients from the agency you went to have to be getting services somewhere (otherwise the hospitals would most likely have had a very significant increase in admissions since 6/2009 and you would have heard about it)...many of these people probably receive services from Health and Social Services as well, so that organization must know something. :-( Good luck to you. I'm sorry this has happened. |
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The agency I went to was a private nonprofit. My county doesn't seem to offer any type of mental health program, or none that I can find anyway. At the social services (DSS) offices, they claim they have never heard of such programs. At the actual health department, they claim they don't treat such things. I am uninsured still. When I lost my job my son was able to get NC Healthchoice (which is similar to Medicaid) but for some reason I don't qualify. Or at least, I do qualify but I would have to pay $2000 out-of-pocket before it would pay anything. Kinda seems pointless to me. If I'm going to pay a couple grand on my own, I might as well pay it all, ya know? I will keep searching and keep harassing my county until I figure something out... Thanks to everyone for the help and advice though. I really appreciate it. :) |
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Jedi, I am happy you started this thread. I suffer from schizophrenia...but I am well medicated and attend therapy and a support group once a week. I don't have insurance...but my local mental health clinic provides me with all of it. I was diagnosed 2 years ago after getting clean from a heroin and cocaine addiction. Since my recent group of meds have taken affect I feel stable, and I have not suffered any symptoms like visual and auditory hallucinations. I have been through a fair amount of med changes...and finally I think I have the right combination. I rely on structure to take my meds. I take them the exact same time every day. I also don't feel like a zombie anymore. Meds I took earlier made me feel that way...so I would quit taking them, which made things worse. I was hospitalized 5 times in the past 18 months. I have adjusted to the way I now have to live my life. I am aware of my stressors and triggers...that alone is a big acomplishment for me. I do feel less emotional than I used to be...but I am adjusting to that. I am proof that meds, therapy, and support work. I don't know if I will ever be normal, but I can function very well like this. |
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I looked up Medicaid in your State: http://www.dhhs.state.nc.us/dma/medi...sicmedelig.pdf. If you look at page two it talks about eligibility requirments and the deductible that you speak of, which is based on your income. This should give you an idea as to how they made that determination (and you can check their work!) Check out this link: http://www.dhhs.state.nc.us/mhddsas/lmedirectory.htm It is for North Carolina's Division of Mental Health, Developmental Disabilities, and Substance Abuse Services. Choose your county and make the call. If you cannot find your county on the list, for some reason, call the closest one and ask them who to call. I wish you luck. I know that the "system" can be frustrating and overwhelming. Also, people don't always take the time to explain it all to residents. If you would like, you can PM me and I can make phone calls to find out information for you. Since I am working from a place of general knowledge about how our government entitlement programs work, it would not be too hard for me, and I have no problem "pushing people" to get what others are entitled to/need. I just hate to see you not get what you need due to people not being helpful to you. It makes me angry when I hear of government agencies "shooing people away", when it is their job to do just the opposite. Take care. |
I hate to see this. Another example of how people fall thru the cracks who need help here in America. This is why I am all for universal healthcare coverage. Everyone should have it. I would not mind paying higher taxes to see that everyone was covered. I also would like to see the people who are at the highest income brackets pay a lot more towards this. |
Just another day.....
Well.....to be totally honest, I function but I am not happy.....not usually anyway. I still get calls from my crazy ex. I'm still trying to recover from what she did. It really damaged me.
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Jedi, I am sorry to hear this. I wish you peace from here on out. Andrew |
It's Psych Week on Discovery Health Channel. Starts tonight at 9 pm est.
Here is a preview, I will be tuning in and hoping to learn something all week. |
Hey Jedi,
I like the focus for this thread - the medications we need to live. I live with depression/anxiety. I was diagnosed when I was 15 - I'm 37 now. I've been on a series of meds - every few years have to change because the brain gets used to the current ones. Currently I'm on fluoxetine, lamictal, and xanax. They're doing the trick. Also see a therapist once, sometimes twice a month. Right now maintaining pretty well - course I've had 22 years of practice!!! This seems like a good place to share a frustration of mine. Have you ever been in a conversation talking about someone who appears to be having a bad day, and someone says, "guess they didn't take their prozac today"? I find that horribly offensive, making light of those of us who do take meds and need these meds, not just to try to be in a good mood but to survive. Even worse, if you're having a bad day and someone asks you if you remembered to take your meds (especially folks who know you take meds). I've expressed my frustration when folks make these comments, but on only one instance have I had someone take me seriously. I try to just let it go, but in my mind it's one more way that mental illness is reduced to the "it's all in your head - get over it" mentality. Anyone else experience this??? |
I always get remarks like what you posted Darth. It goes thru me like bullets. Obviously the person making the remark has no clue as to what it is to suffer from anxiety or depression. I wouldn't wish this on anyone. It is pure hell. So, when some jackass makes a remark like that - it shows their lack of respect towards me or whomever, and shows the kind of person they are. It isn't in my head. It was the knife being held at my throat. Or when my sisters (I have 4 older sisters) who came to me for protection from our father. So no, it isn't in my head. Andrew |
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I can soooo relate......BUT.....I'm not defending those who think they are funny. I forget to take my meds sometimes. Even though they are sitting out in plain sight. So...some do have to ask if I took my meds and yes even if I forgot I still get rather offended. Just missing 1 day can mess me up. Not majorly....but enough to be noticed in how I feel. I'm pretty in tune with myself. But I'm human and have my off days. And just because I'm having an off day, doesn't mean I need a med change or extra therapy either. Some people are at such a loss that they suggest the absurd, thinking they are being helpful because they don't know what else to say. My big peeve....is people who think your mental illness is just an excuse. That really upsets me. I mean....you think I really want to hallucinate and show how my thinking and judgement get clouded? Like I don't view it as a weakness sometimes...you know? Like...I don't like it used against me when I strive so hard to overcome it and live as normal as I can.....in spite of the fact it's there. :soapbox: OK...I'll get off my soapbox now. Everyone....thank you for showing me support....I'm going through a rough time right now and have no idea when it will get easier. Jedi |
Today was a good day!!!
I had been feeling increasingly depressed lately. For a number of reasons....
I'm working this temporary job and was sent out of town on business last week. I was given work this week in Delray Beach this week and it's about 17 miles....not far. At my last 45 minutes...I was given this 6 ft section...I asked the project manager to help me set the shelves by moving them with me with the merchandise still on them...it was the quickest way to get the section moved as it was all saline and contact lens cleaner and eye drops (I'm doing a walgreens reset)...well anyway...before I ramble on...long story short...he helped me out and then tonight as I was leaving he told me I was doing really well...and everytime he comes out to me on the floor while I'm working on an area he always says..."Let's set the pace" and things like that. So...I didn't think I was doing so well. I was busting my butt to only touch things once and get stuff moved. And I was stuck with peg hooks again...and was given about 9 ft to do by myself. It took me 6 1/5 hrs. So...the 45 minutes for 6 ft was really unrealistic. And I had an idea that totally gave us a jump for morning shift. And, he said I was really doing good work...that felt good. I was afraid (the way they kept checking on me), that I was moving too slow. And I thought I heard my name mentioned and a "yeah...I'll talk to her" but that could just be my illness. And I hate that kind of stuff. It doesn't happen too often, but when it does...... I kept my mouth shut and my mind on doing the job. And it appears to be nothing. I feel really good that I'm doing much better than what I had been thinking all day. Another thing I hate about the illness...it makes me doubt myself. And it isn't rational...so it doesn't sit well with me. I functioned in spite of it and I think a lot of it is thanks to medication. Which I remembered to take today... So today was a good day. Here's hoping you all had a good day, too... (I try to remember to count my blessings everyday) |
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I hope everyone is doing well. Enjoy your weekend! :peacelove: |
"Depression is not a sign of weakness - it is a sign that you have been trying to be strong for too long."
The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) http://www.nami.org. |
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Has anyone been watching the Discovery Health series on mental illness? I only got to watch 1 show of it. I have been way too busy to catch it when it has been on. |
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This place holds me together on some days. Today is one of those days. |
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i had this same thing sent to me on facebook... never really thought of it that way... *smiles* of course i haven't been thinking right for awhile... but i'm starting to get back on track...
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I've been on disability for depression and panic/anxiety attacks for almost three years now, and despite that I try not to let things get Me down. I'm on wellbutrin now and it seems to be doing the trick; I was on celexa at one point and when that didn't work anymore they tried Me on effexor ...... well, I took that for only a week and it was a disaster. On effexor I was constantly dizzy, weak, shaky and had to sleep ~ I couldn't take it so wellbutrin it's been and for Me its working perfectly fine.
I have to admit that coming out as being FTM has soared My confidence and self-esteem along with the meds, I've noticed a considerable change in Myself in so many ways. I'm thankful for the meds, though some may think it sound weird, without them I don't think I'd be able to function properly. Some days I just wanna throw the pill bottle out the window, but then again as long as they help Me then I will continue to take them. I'm glad that we have threads like this on the Planet because not only does it give those of us with mental health issues a place to vent and talk about stuff with others who know what we are going through, but it also just gives us the knowledge that we're not alone! I'm thankful for all of you :) |
i have a question... how long did it take before the celexa quit working for you?... see... i'm trying to get back on meds... i went back to my old ones because honestly i can't afford the dr. visit or the meds... and the mental health clinic around here says i make to much and they want 100 bucks... anyway... the celexa was NOT slowing my head down... o... btw.. i'm TypeII Bi-Polar with panic disorder and chronic depression... i've been unmedicated idk... about 3 years this time... and i've come to realize i CAN NOT survive without medication anymore... my head just gets WAYYY to far gone... then i become a very bad danger to myself... yeah this was just recent... i want my old med back which was lexapro... i'm workin on doin that once i get moved... after the celexa i've been on ritalin... and its helped some as far as slowing the thought processes... but its not enough... i can tell... to the point i've gone into manics and have been taking as much overtime as i can to exhaust myself enough to not think when i try and go to sleep...
anyway... i digressed... sorry... that's what happens... but please how long did it take before the meds quit working on you... Quote:
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I feel like I am standing at the edge of a cliff ready to fall. That is what my depression is like today. I fight it day in and day out. I am tired of battling it constantly. Braedon, your symptoms and mine are pretty much 100% the same. I too get the anxiety and panic attacks. They are aweful. But I am an Aspi, and don't have bipolar disorder (according to the therapist). I too am grateful for everyone here. |
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Just remember.....no matter how you feel......you are not alone. |
Today I just feel very isolated and depressed. |
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