TMI - Too Much Information
 

The weak of stomache or heart might wanna stay out of this thread, thanks.

I'll go first. Superfemme will go second cuz she promised.

Back when I lost my virginity I did a real good job of it. It wasn't like 5 minutes in the backseat of a volvo, it was in an apartment and basically 7 days straight of screwing. Cuz I am never half-assed about anything, dig?

Anyway, I think that we mighta knocked my urethra out of alignment or something, because starting at about day 4 if I sat on the toilet to pee the stream of urine would actually arc up and over the toilet seat and directly onto my shoes. Each and every time. It CLEARED the toilet seat completely. Totally bizzare. So I had to develop a new pee-strategy wherein I would lean way forward and grab my ankles and squat over the seat so that my bellybutton was parallel with the floor.

It looked dumb, but it helped me to avoid pee-shoes.

When I was 19 I went into a grocery store and stold a steak.. Cooked it up and ate it.. It was so good and I felt no guilt.:vampire:

My urine frequently smells like coffee.

Let's pretend I'm the second post shall we?

I have no good TMI related to the pee. Dammit.

I did once fake fellatio on a big stick popsicle and it broke off in my throat. Like three or four inches of it. Everyone stared blankly while I choked to death.

Then I drank some hot tap water until it shrank enough to swallow.

I have been afraid of big sticks ever since.

Once my mom performed a back yard exorcism on me in front of my whole family, after finding my Doctor's bag in the garage, I hid it there when I had come home around 8 the next day..

That's not what I heard! Bah dum bom shinnk!

Snowy thought her allergy to her Momma's chihuahua was a covert attempt on her life. For like three years or something.

You KNOW that hamster was after my jugular vein. Damn you Heather.

Food thieves unite!

When I was 19, I stole a pound of bacon!!

Um...
:dontfeedmods:

It is not ok for you to TMI about other people Guera...

:sugarglider:

Oh. Damnit. :argue:

My TMI is way way way more TMI than the rest of y'alls TMI. :( I am sad.

:dots:

I like to people watch. A lot.

I like a lot of people.....watch :groupphoto:

My mom took me to a circus once, I hyperventilated cause I got so upset over the animals.. It may have caused a huge ruckus.:lawnmower:

Since Potty needs more TMI:

My Pops and Pappy were over here tonight getting their hair cut and I totally farted SO loud that my 90-year-old Pappy whipped around and started laughing and said "Ah OH!" and then my Pops said, "Is there a giant duck in here?"


TMI enough? :trampoline:

I pooped my pants the first day of kindergarten. I was wearing cowboy boots and it just sort of fell in them. My mom was horrified when I took my shoes off in the car that afternoon.

Many of you have already heard this but I totally pooped in a potted plant on the balcony of a VERY fancy hotel one time.

And then I wiped with a leaf that I ended up being allergic to. :|

I know I shouldn't....but am dying to know how the butt allergy manifested itself.

I have a panic attack if my vacuum is hurt or not working right:overreaction:

I may have around forty bottles of shampoo and conditioner in my shower.

when I was 21 I had a dream I was peeing and when I woke up from the dream I was actually peeing right in my bed.

I rolled over to the dry spot and cleaned it up when I was more awake.

I may have stored jelly beans in my vajayjay at the age of three.

In kindergarten the toilet was broken and we had to shake the handle so it wouldnt flood. My ADD was so bad I forgot about it. I pooped and flooded the classroom.
The next day I was told I had to go to private school because the teacher was so upset about her poop room.

I love you. :)

When I moved to Vancouver I had to live in my car temporarily while I looked for a job an an apartment. My car was parked in a parkinglot by Jericho Beach. There were actually several cars and vans in that parkinglot full of people doing what I was doing.

Anyway. I was lucky in that most of my bowel-urges happened when I had handy access to the public toilet. Each time but once, in fact. So it's 2am and I have to crap...so I wander into the woods and hug a tree and do what I have to do. Then I wipe with my sock (!!! I forgot to bring tp to the woods, okay?) and tossed my sock aside and went back to the car.

Later that morning I was woken up by some loud hollering and swearing out in the woods. It seems one of the other people who were also car-living....um....stepped in my shit. Barefooted.

I prayed and prayed that he wouldn't recognise my sock.

:mountie:

When I was 20, I got so drunk out at the "power lines" with a bunch of my friends that went and laid down in the bed of someone's truck to try to sleep it off.

When I woke up, I was still in the bed of the truck only now it was daylight, I was burnt to a crisp, and I was in a city 80 miles away. :|

So I dated this person that loved it when I would use a dildo and fuck myself on hys chest. One time we were really going at it hot and heavy and I heard some screaming. I stop only to find out I had slipped forward and was fucking hys eye as well

AWESOME! I love drinking-TMI.

So NYE many many moons ago, I was a very classy lady and double fisting a bottle of vodka and a bottle of creme de cacao. Cuz actually mixing the drinks would have been -way- to complicated at that juncture, if you get my meaning.

Anyway. My friends and I left the house we were partying at and headed for a bar. We hadn't been at the bar 10 minutes when I felt the need to throw up. Instead of going to the bathroom to do it like a good girl, I picked up an empty pintglass off of someones table, filled it with vomit, placed it back on the table, and kept walking like nothing had happened.

Keep it classy, Potty.

I love pee stories!


Im still ashamed of this but I think I should get some points for being creative.

I was 9 and I was spending the night with a friend. I wasn't normally a bedwetter but we had drank so much Mountain Dew before going to bed that I totally pissed the bed that I was sharing with my friend.
I was so embarrassed that I snuck to the kitchen and filled her dogs bowl with warm water and brought it back to bed and poured it on her while she was sleeping.

In the morning I woke her up and told her she had peed the bed and all over me in her sleep.

I may have almost pissed my pants....

:chasingzombie:

One night while going home from karaoke I was so drunk that when the DD flipped around in front of my house to drop me off. Another drunk in the back seat claimed I was going to puke. She opened the door and I fell out under the car.
The next day while sitting on the toilet I wondered why I was naked, and had road rash on my knees, and puke in my hair. Figured I just crawled in the house.
Then I noticed the road rash on my arms. Man I really crawled in the house.
Next, I noticed that my face was road rash, my glasses were still on my face and broken AND My ear was bent the wrong way. What the fuck happened?

I asked said DD what happened? She stated that I tried to die on the ground when I fell out, prayed that the police would find me and shoot me. And they had to carry me in, get the puke off and dumped me in the bed naked.

Not something I was surprised at.

P.s. It was the weekend and I couldn't get into the eye doc. So I had to tape up my glasses.

Has anyone besides me ever driven off with the gas pump handle and destroyed not only the fender of their car but part of the gas pump?

No. You are the only person who has ever done that. /walksawaywhistling

no but i backed into a palm tree--the same tree has been in the same spot for probably 40 years--and i've been acquainted with said tree for almost 3 years with never even a close-call. one day i'm running late and so i punched the gas in reverse--that tree didn't move an inch but my bumper was hanging by a thread.

Has anyone noticed that Medusa's stories are mostly about bodily functions? :blink: