The Fat Positive Lounge
 

Just a place to hang out, talk silly or serious, about fat or not about fat (and if it is about fat- with a fat positive politic*). Sometimes I really need a safe space to be with other fat people who have a side to them that feels healthiest in a fat positive space- whether we are talking fat politics or just goofing around knowing that we are with like-minded friend :). Oh, and of course you don't have to be fat to post here! It's about the politic, not the size!

*Hang out a bit on http://www.bigfatblog.com if you don't have an idea of what a safe, fat positive space looks/feels/sounds like. Please don't ask on the thread, because again, I'm creating this space specifically for an environment that is not debating fat positivity but for having some bonding with like-minded souls :)

I recently read the book "Hungry" by Crystal Renn and highly recommend it! She writes about her journey to a highly successful modeling career, where she goes from being anorexic to being a plus-size model. After allowing herself to eat what she wants and not focus on what size she is, she has her biggest success! It's such an uplifting book, and she is so encouraging of women to allow their body to be whatever their natural size is. The writing style is down-to-earth and full of helpful advice for being one's best self. One quote that helped me even though it is obvious is, "You simply cannot look to the wider world for a perpetual stream of affirmation. It won't be there. And life is too short to hate yourself." No doubt!

I have to say that a new place that I have found it safe for fat friendliness and gay friendliness and women friendliness is The Graham Norton Show. I feel so relaxed when I watch, it's TV that improves my mood.


http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-4AM1MAYIgg...how%2B%2B3.jpg

http://www.blogcdn.com/www.aoltv.com...dleycooper.jpg

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2010/...93_468x286.jpg

i love this thread so much! :) thank you for starting it.

some other links i like are:
http://www.kateharding.net/
http://www.fatnutritionist.com/
http://www.adipositivity.com/ (nsfw)
http://queerfatfemme.com/

What is everyone up to this weekend?

I Love This
 

This is AWESOME !! I am so positive about being A BIG SEXY GIRL !!!!!!!!!!!!! I think ATTITUDE is everything !!
My hips don't lie and neither do I !!!!!!!!

Thank you again !!

The most positive I've ever felt about my own body wasn't even when being sexual with someone. I was a life model in college, and it was a shock to see how sensuously the students sculpted or drew my body, compared to how I saw myself. It was a total kick.

I want to be healthy, it's true, and I don't want problems to creep in as I get older. But, having said that, if I'm curvy, that's what I am. Your attitude is far more important than your weight or the size of anything.

NYCfemBBW, when I met you at the Reunion, I didn't even notice size. I thought, "Wow, I love her hair!" :).

I recommend the book "Feel Good Naked" by Laure Redmond. It's not a diet, although it recommends healthy eating (both content and how we eat). It's much more about self-esteem from the inside out. That to me, is hot in anyone.

Ah well, this is a weekend of feeling miraculous, I had a health scare this time last week and today I am so much better it is making me giddy.
I have been juicing carrots and saving the pulp, so today I made carrot cake with brown rice flour and cooked some red beans and then made this crazy thing that I love ........Jello with beans, odd, I know.

I went to the post office today, mailed hideous birthday cards that I made for my parents, along with powdered peanut butter and some tree branch buttons for my mom and the last Harry Potter DVD. When I got to the post office a package arrived from my mom, it's a huge quilt that she made from fabric that was part of a bequest made to her. It is so beautiful and even more so because Mom's dying friend had thought of me and had given her this fabric and quilt pattern.

I'm sad that Whitney Houston died, she is my age, so scary what addiction does. I feel so fortunate to have gotten sober young and stayed sober, not everyone is so lucky, I am nothing but grateful, though my heart breaks for her family and fans.

well, I've rambled enough. Hope you all are having a great day!

Sherrie

The thicker the cushion, the better the pushin' ;)

Seeing the Artwork of another of how they see us is truly eye-opening and inspiring! Even though I’m from a family BBWs and some BHM and had positive role models, there have been times when my body confidence has wobbled. I’ll always have cuddles and curves thanks to my genetics.

It’s funny (….not funny haha!) that all the BBWs I’ve known, many are fairly healthy eaters and do a lot of walking.

Yesterday, one of the blokes at the Disabled Arts Studio started dancing to the music that was playing….to say he was dancing like your Dad at a family Wedding was an understatement! LOL! He had his thumbs up in the air and said: “This music’s got a good beat!” I was struggling to breathe I was laughing so hard! LOL!

Today, K has seen me at my worst! She is handling me in a foul mood well and I’ve apologised to her and explained why I’m feeling like this. I always explain my bad moods and apologise that way people know where they stand (or sit if they are doing so, lol!).

It’s so sad when someone dies young….

I went to a small Burlesque show last night and even though it was a typical 6th street Austin deal, with standing room only and the patrons being squished in the space like sardines, I absolutely loved it.

The women were all sizes and fantastical and lovely and they celebrated humor and sexiness and there was even one butch-femme type of number.

Loved it.

*I* felt sexy watching them being sexy on stage. Their confidence rained down on me like the glitter and confetti one of the girls shook out into the crowd.

These aren't from last night, but it's the same troupe:

I love this thread! Jen, a wonderful idea!

I havent been around much lately because I am busy opening a....wait for it.....

A plus size women's resale shop!

Oh yes indeedy! I have over 80 bags of clothes in my dining room (its massive the mountain it created!) and am picking up more bags tomorrow from 4 other people. I have people from NJ, Mass, Vt, Florida, and Texas sending me clothes for my shop! For free!

why free? Because as soon as they hear about my shop, they immediately feel "part of"..they want it to succeed because they want a place of their own! It is as much a social experience as well as a retail location!

My case worker at our Bureau of Vocational Rehabilitation and my advisor from our local small business dept of our university are working closely with me to develop a business plan, select a location, make purchases, etc. They have never seen an automatic flood of donations to a business that is not a non profit, before in their lives!

I feel alive again. I feel like I am giving back once more. And I feel wanted. I get messages and emails every day from women locally and across the US who are hearing it from friends of friends. Some tell me their life story of how hard it was and still is to be a plus size. I share my own story, of the internal damage and how I had a life threatening eating disorder in my 20s because I wanted to be the "desired image", only to be sexually assaulted after obtaining that goal. When you objectify yourself, your obsession takes so much out of you. I have been very comfortable ever since then, about my weight. Even after my surgery on my stumach, and having lost weight, I will never be a size 8. I am always going to be a size 16 because thats where I feel the most comfortable. I realized it as soon as my weight dipped to 14. I was trying too hard to lose the weight the Drs expected me to lose. I am perfectly happy at 16. Then again, I was happy at size 22 too, but my body hurt with my conditions, from the extra weight.

So here I am, opening up this store and hearing everyone's life story. How sad it is that there is very little difference between the 64 year old telling me her story of growing up fat, and the 16 year old who is in the process of it. A couple have told me they never knew a single person who could say they were comfortable with weight, before they met me.

this little shop of mine is going to be "home" too. My case worker and advisor suggested for me to only sell online and give up the idea of a store front. I refused. This store is important to too many women. and to me. I am going to be doing monthly get togethers too, so we can meet and look at each other and see the beauty in all our shapes and sizes. I want to do a fashion show for a charity but right now, no one wants to do it except one woman. Give me time. They will sign up.

My shops name is The Pretty and Plus Shop. I hope you dont mind me talking about it in here. I am not trying to drum up business. I simply want to share this phenomena of the reaction I am getting!

http://redcfa.wpengine.netdna-cdn.co...12-Grammys.jpg
http://forthoseabouttoshop.ca/wp-con...1/06/eIVLh.jpg

Rawr
 

She's AMAzing sexy and sassy and humble, she's easy to like and love!

This thread is great and so full of warm & fuzzy it's nice thanks Jennifer!

Have you seen her Vogue (I think it's Vogue) pictorial...........they really photo-shopped her.........
edited to add: I think the grammy picture above is photo-shopped

HUH?.......

Adele is the cover for Vogue............

here.........what do you think:

https://www.google.com/search?q=adel...w=1138&bih=544

I met the most interesting woman today when i went to pick up some clothes she was donating to the TPAPS shop. Wild hair like fire and it reminded me of Medusa, (the greek legend, not just our site owner!) flaming out in stiff red and black vibrant curls all around her beautiful heart shaped face. Her grey eyeliner stroked easily over her soft grey eyes gave them a wolf look, a soothingly calm wildlife look that contrasted with her flaming riot of hair. Her lips were thin and red but stretched wide in embracing smiles to my spirit. Damn it was wonderful to be in her presence and to be gifted with her clothes. And oh what clothes they were! All in red and black and as wild as she is! But sweet and with an inner peace. I am still reeling with her contrasts!

When i got home and went thru her clothes, my hands slid over them and I thanked my goddesses for bringing me to these women, so I can share with them and them with me. I feel all warm and fuzzy inside when i think of her smile flashing at me as I left....I could feel how happy I made her by simply alllowing her to help other women feel good about themselves thru shared clothes. But its not just clothes. Its shared acceptance of our body images.

She is my wild fire medusa...and I just had to share her with you all tonight...

http://media4.onsugar.com/files/2012...2-Pictures.jpg

It's kinda hard to tell. She doesn't take a lot of full figure photos where you can see the outline of her body, but yes, her waist looks smaller than i would imagine it is.

Here is a fairly recent photo though that i imagine isn't photoshopped. It's not that different from the grammy pic.

http://cdn.sheknows.com/articles/201...oice-vogue.jpg

These are yummy. i think she looks better when they allow her to look fleshy.

http://www.popcrunch.com/wp-content/...le-500x725.jpg

http://culturepop.me/wp-content/uplo...k-issue-3.jpeg

she is so stunning...I can feel the plumpness in my grasp, and how incredibly sexy that is. I dont see size, I FEEL lust....

I have been asked to present a talk at a brown bag luncheon for professional women, about my new shop opening up! I cant wait to talk to them about the store, and the whole concept of body image and how women emotionally identify with their physical selves, in such a negative way that we often disassociate from our spiritual Selves.

This is hopefully the first talk of many. I am the Fat Girl Ambassador of my little valley.

I am going to have my first auction on my FB site for the shop this Sunday. I am really hoping it goes well. I need the money to buy some racks for the shop.

Can I ask who and what are your favorite lines of clothing? I know Avenue fits me so well...Lane Bryant doesnt do a thing for me.

That's so exciting, Miss Tia! I'm loving hearing about this! There was a store like that in New York, Brooklyn to be specific. It was open for a few years and then closed. Maybe New York rents are just too expensive. Thanks for keeping us in the loop about your store. Keep the stories coming! What an adventure!

At the Grammy's she looked slimmer in the second dress she wore, but these photos all look photo shopped! That is a shame, because she is a normal size woman and they are really sending the wrong message to young women.

I secured my store site today! Its on the MAIN corner of the downtown area of the town next to mine. It is catty corner to two very popular and busy restaurants and is in an 100 year old building with high ceilings that have those precious molded forms! The landlord's last tenant destroyed the place so he has to repair and remodel it. He is now doing it to my specifications! It has a HUGE store window front! I was quivering how excited I was!

When i got home i had an email from a gal who said she hated herself. She gained 100 lbs since she was married. She only wore sweats and felt like a worthless unlovable being. Yet her husband adores her. She was so glad there was going to be a shop where she could go and not feel bad about herself when trying to buy clothes. She is exactly why i want to do this store. I saw photos of her and she is STUNNING. I am not kidding you! As beautiful as they come, could be a plus size model! And she hates herself.
Mirror mirror on the wall, why do I see someone I dont like at all?

This is great news! I am happy to read it, and so glad you can provide pretty clothes to nice, larger, pretty ladies. :) :bow:

Awesome!
 

Just wanted to send out a big ol squishy hug to nycfembbw for starting this thread!! :)

I subscribed. Love myself some fat-positivity!!

always wear dark blue and black
 

and never wear stripes, esp horizontal ones

prints are bad.

so are loud colors

dont draw attention to yourself

keep your hair short and off your face. You have such a pretty face

smile....fat people are jolly

eat before you go out so you wont eat alot when you do go out

no one wants to see a fat person clean their plate publicly

be obsessed with your hygiene because ya know, we smell

control top pantyhose was invented by a baker..for it creates muffin tops

which by the way, are anything but slimming....

I dont listen to any of the above...anymore...lol...thank goddess!

There are certain words or phrases that I find oppressive and fat-negative. They are words that I may nod along with but am cringing inside. They are words that I even use at times when talking to people because I know it's their language. Here's my list. Do you have a list of words or phrases that you find to be fat negative?

1) "Overweight." Over WHAT weight? Some ideal determined by insurance companies and patriarchal doctors?

2) "War on Obesity." This is so literally negative and easily morphs into "war on fat people." How about something positive, especially for a phrase that is so often applied to children, like, "Team for Healthiness."

3) "Obese" and "Morbidly obese." When I hear these words, I immediately think of how cold and clinical they are. They are never a compliment, and that says a lot.

And how about fat positive words that we love hearing? Here's my list, and I'd love to know yours:

1) fat (direct, can be used negatively but also down-to-earth)

2) full-figured (feels direct and respectful- of course, as all fat phrases in our culture, can be used negatively)

3) voluptuous (sensual, complimentary, a "feel good" word)