Lounge for Deaf people and their allies
 

While I'm hearing, I work at a school for the Deaf and love Deaf culture and sign language. This thread is a hang out space for BFP members who are Deaf, hard of hearing, CODA, ASL interpreters, or otherwise interested in various aspects of Deaf culture. Casual/socializing and serious discussion are both welcome here. When you first post on the thread, please let us know what brings you to it and anything else you want to say!

Wouldn't mind learning how to sign.

i hear now, but was deaf/hardhearing many years back
 

I'm hearing, however had many years either deaf or hard of hearing.

I wrote a lot and then deleted it.

I think in ABA which gets me in trouble., ABA is where dominate does the A then follows the reaction of submissive doing B that will then echo A

However I do so through this language, and I forget there's communication.

I'm seeking to break this ABA notion and learn how to communicate.

Anybody here relate with this.

Anybody here had their hearing restored? and find challenge?

hearing restore through tubes; that's all., no biggy, many had this done., so perhaps I sound I exaduate then.

but really I'm not exaduating.

I was deaf/heard of hearing for many years, due to neglect as I wasn't allow to see docs.

something to do with grandparents from germany, uh?

grandparents were afraid of losing me if docs find out about me; uh?

grandparents beliefs did me harm.

anybody relate in any way?

Wow,im glad to see this subject posted.I'm hearing chalenged,some peole call it impared..well no, im not impared just cant hear,impared sounds like im broken wich I am not.Being hearing chalenged can be both a pain in the ass as well as a blessing.I barely do asl but read lips like a wild child,I have hearing aids(gathering dust in a box) I use them when I need to but the normal hearing range im suposed to use drives me nuts over time with the constant chatter of life,last night I didnt hear the water runing that I forgot to totaly turn off and flooded the bathroom floor..so glad its tile(not the first time).Onething that bugs me is normal hearing people or people who want to be rude is thy think for me to realise they are talking to me is toeither get up in my face or touch me to make shure I get it...some will down right be rude about it.I told someone once I had a hearing issue,I was a long way from dead so becareful what you say.

Hi, Electrocell,

Just wanted to share a great site:

http://www.lifeprint.com/

Learning the alphabet by heart and ideally numbers 1-25 helps a lot to start out with! So many signs are made using variations of the alphabet that practicing it until you can do it really fast is very helpful!

Thanks appreciate it. Had a cousin who taught the deaf as well a friend in St Louis.

What is ABA?

I want to add to anyone unfamiliar with Deaf culture that ASL is NOT a written language AND uses completely different grammar. E.G. "I'll get my book" is signed "Book get I." There's a terrible stereotype that because some Deaf people's written English is not fluent that they are not as intelligent. That couldn't be further from the truth.

We use ABA teaching consultants at times at our school.

Here's a link:

http://rsaffran.tripod.com/whatisaba.html

OK thanks.

So ABA is used for people with autism--- that's good to know.

You are so right on this statement,process takes a fue minits sometimes.

Being deaf I often miss things in a conversation,last night some friends at the pool hall were jokeing around about something wich totaly flew over my head with all the noise and such.Lots of times I feel like a dork when this happends cause I wonder what the non deaf people are thinking im stupid or something.
My pool team and I have worked out a way to get my attention when the team captain thinks I need a coaching or word of advise on something I didnt see or notice,but as long as I have played on this team I still dont get into long conversations with anyone mostly because in reality pool is all we have thats in common.The daily drama of theire lives is not anything I care to be a part of.Then there is the left out feeling when I dont blend in well in groups that feel like dealing with a deaf person is a bother,and they do even if they say it dosent.Then there is all the speach therapy I have had to speak as clear as I do,its a lot of work to be clear cause I get tired and fall back into less clear speach or drop words.

Check with the deaf action center to see if they offer clases or the comunity college (if you have one) sometimes the class's are free.

I am a certified interpreter in San Diego! Yay! I love meeting deaf/hoh/interpreters/allies as well! Hugs!

I also deal with hearing challenges. While I may hear sounds, I have a difficult time understanding what someone is actually saying; especially if the person has a deeper voice. I hear high tones fine, but lower, deeper tones either I don't hear at all or cannot make out words. I am notorious for asking people to repeat themselves, sometimes to where after I have asked them to repeat themselves numerous times down to one word not being understood, and then I end up repeating what I understood and then I request them to spell the word I am just not getting. People have been really good about it and if I see them get frustrated, I will then disclose my hearing impairment. It is very frustrating because even in the movie theater I lose a lot of what is being said. I think this is why I prefer action movies to dramas as action movies usually don't have a lot of talking.

I too have done the smile and nod and not understood a word someone has said. I watch lips and am very keen on watching body language to help me.

I have tried a hearing aid, but all it did was amplify background noise and holy crap.... forget when a siren goes off... I couldn't get the volume down fast enough.

I try my best to work with it everyday, and some days are okay, but then there are days where I just get tired... tired of feeling like I am missing out on some things. (which i am in a sense)

So hi to everyone.. :) And thanks nycfembbw for starting this thread.

Haha! Thanks DamonK! Hugs!

I'd be more than happy to interpret at the reunion if anyone going needs an interpreter! Just grab me!

Smiles!

Wolfy,find a deaf action center they will do exams free then put you on a free hearing aid list,then you should qulify for a teletalker phone for the deaf,I have one and its really good as you can ajust the vollum to suit yourself.Warning if they talk you into a doorbbell system the tone will drive you nuts,I disabled mine because of the light that blinked all over the house and tone was awful.

What state do you live in? I can find out what resources are available if you want.

Smiles

On phone so sorry for mistakes.

When I was little, dad would get mad cuz I would sign to him. Well not really, mad as "babe, you know I don't know that stuff".

My mom can do some alphabet, crackers, beautiful, I love you.
Dad can do I love you.

Crackers is cuz my favorite....saltines.

There were times my hearing aid would break and mom would have to send them in to be fixed. I would be left deaf. Entirely. Unless you yelled.

That is absolutely miserable. Deaf for weeks. In a hearing school. With absolutely no one that knew sign.

Here is an idea of my level of loss. Hearing folk, have someone speak right in your ear, like to whisper a secret, in a normal tone and volume. Fucking loud, isn't it? If you do it to my right ear, its comfortable. It's how I imagine hearing folk hear normally. Do it to my left ear... 1. You have no business being that close to that ear unless you're on an extremely short list of trusteds, which my parents aren't even on and 2. I will starti laughing cuz it tickled and I don't hear anything.

To date, I've had two ear surgeries... Both on left ear. I had numerous infections as a kid. I was a regular at my ENT. Like, usually 3+ times a year. Ever had a doc clean an infection out of a cut? Try the ear. If you can wrap your head around that, you can understand why no one touches that ear.

I had two cholesteatomas. Fun.

I get tired of hearing. It's so much work. It wears me out. Sometimes I wish I'd lose the rest already. It's always been known I would. It's just a matter of when. And it keeps coming faster and faster.

Rockin, my ex bought me a bell with a light and ringer...so, no one can talk me into a doorbell system, lol.
Since almost everything I do is in my bedroom, it's plugged in and hanging on my wall there.

Starry, I live in Oklahoma and if you could it would be great.
My problem, is setting an appointment and being able to hear them on the phone.
Most everything I do involves some form of typing..ie, text, email, IM, PM and old fashioned snail mail.
I talk to a few people via phone, but they are friends or family and speak loud, slow and clear for me.

Wolfy- check out this link.

http://www.ok.gov/abletech/Resources...f-Hearing.html

All of these places should be equipped with email or text. Also, check out the VCO teletype phones. You can use your own voice to speak on the phone, but an operator will type everything out for you on a readable screen so don't have To depend on just listening.

Also, check out your states DOR (department of rehabilitation) center. A VR counselor can get your free hearing aids, help with assistive technology and other things.


Good luck and let me know if you need anything else.

my dad was hard of hearing and many of my friends are deaf or hoh. i also get to spend a lot of time around deaf & hoh folks through my cross-disability work :) i would like to learn to be a better ally, and i want to learn asl. i've gotten better about asking people what works best for them and making sure to look directly at people when speaking so they can read my lips, etc. but i still feel like i have a lot of learning to do to be a good ally to folks with different disabilities than my own.

it has been a blessing (and a wonderful learning experience) to read everyone's posts about your experiences. thank you :)

I’ve been hard of hearing all my life. I wear hearing aids, but they by no means bring my hearing up to “normal.” I don’t know ASL- I’m from a hard of hearing family, and the attitude was to hide it when we could, and downplay it when we couldn’t hide it. Now, I guess my rationale for not learning sign is that I don’t have enough face-to-face contact with signers to make it a priority… but if I knew ASL, I’d seek out Deaf organizations and events. That’s what’s called “circular logic,” I think.

I spent my 20s playing bass guitar in bands and hanging out in rock clubs. Punk rock culture is the great hearing equalizer, I’ve found. In the loud punk clubs, my (hearing) friends and I made sure we had each other’s attention before we spoke, and that we could see each others’ faces. We expected to repeat everything we said. We rearranged bar stools when the flow of conversation changed. We knew how far our voices could be heard (not far at ALL) and supplemented our conversation with gestures. I didn’t need to remind people of the accommodations I needed, because they needed the same accommodations. It’s the only time in my life I felt I fit seamlessly into the hearing world.

I was glad to see several people mention how tiring it is to try to follow a conversation that is just out of one’s hearing range. I experience that too, but I think I end up coming off as bored or rude (I’m the one in a group who starts playing a game on my cell phone when I need a hearing break, because it’s just as tiring to ACT like I’m listening). I get impatient with certain styles of communication, like stories that have no discernible point, and long-winded people who want an "audience" and not a "dialogue". I feel if I'm making the extra effort to understand, they should make the extra effort to be interesting...but I know the world doesn't actually work this way...lol.

I usually have no problems one-on-one, or even when talking to two people…but once I start having to turn my head to the next speaker in a group, I start missing stuff. And in a spirited group discussion, forget it. The interruptions and one-liners are finished before I can visually locate the speaker. So imagine my surprise when I discovered chat rooms 20 years ago on AOL, and found I could follow half a dozen simultaneous conversations with ease. It’s why I’m often found in the chat room on this site, because it’s the only place I can understand 15 people talking at once. And just as in a face-to-face group conversation, a lot of the chatter isn’t worth paying attention to…but at least it doesn’t tire me out when I choose to do so. ;)

maybe why I'm so more outgoing online
 

Maybe why I"m so outgoing online and I kept saying to myself, "who's this person..." meaning me...

You were saying about chat online and able to understand 15 people talking at once...

However sad to say, I'd found me aggressive at times online when normally when not online I'm so quiet and passive.

Is it that I'm finding a voice and yet I don't know how yet to be polite and assertive?

As you say you play bass guitar, I learn to play guitar to help me learn to speak through singing, not that I'm a singer, but this help me so I can speak better.

I still have an accent through.

I'd given up for now about learning sign, at one time I learn sign, but something happen that I left the deaf community, its kind of difficult to explain why.

That's the other thing I find a challenge is explaining myself when I don't even have the words myself to explain.

Actually for the longest time I didn't feel accepted by the hearing or the deaf, but this online is a break through for me.

like what you were saying... However our situation isn't the same, my hearing I gain so well, that I'm overly stimulated, where I have actual melt downs from sounds around me. I'm frighten...

Also I'm not doing very well with conversations, in able to have a verbal conversation, I lost contact with my nephews over this, they're to ashame to be around me, I embarrass them.

What I wish is I never ever hurt peoples feelings and never offend people and people always sees me as kind and nice and polite, and or at least me trying my best and give me chances or give me examples how to be when communicating.

I'm treated best to be quiet and yet be around.

no one wants me to verbally talk, I'm afraid of my nephews actually. I'm so shy, to be around my sister's family. So I hadn't seen them in years, due to being to shy to be around them as they're so good at socializing verbally.

information that I find interesting
 

info

http://www.envoymedical.com/

I heard about this - have you heard about this way of restorying hearing?



http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Deaf-Wannabee/



This group I found helpful for me as I can find people who can relate with pain that's cause from hearing and how they found relief in their own way.

Some have chosen to return or become further deaf, due to pain or discomfort from hearing...

I can relate and have learn the tools to do so if needed, however I'm seeking first to learn how to tune out sounds and able to think with out getting so fearful distracted and angry.

I wish I can control all sounds, the mystery for me is; why did God made a loud planet where sounds roams the earth and never pays rent...

I pay rent for where I live and I never given rights for sounds to live in my place, and sounds don't pay rent. Yet sounds comes through wall and moves in my place.

sounds makes me feel like a victim.

yet I love music, if only I can chosen what sounds can come in my ears and what sounds can't come in my ears.

what sounds scares me the most is random loud sounds, I actually tremble my whole body is in horror and the horror fear last for a very long time.

and then I'm afraid it will happen again and yet when...

I have tried this where I allow God teach me in the midst of my thoughts and emotions of the audio world, but the problem is, is then I allow God teach me in the midst of my anger at God.

you see the God who I lean on for comfort is the same God I'm so angry at, cause God did this, God disign a planet where sounds has free range to go through walls even...

I've even had ear plugs in and still I hear sounds.

I'm so hoping that after I pass away, that the next place I be living that's not on earth, will be a type of place where I can control sounds; like for sure in heaven I can control sounds right; cause if I can't, I will be very upset in heaven while the rest of the people all be happy, I won't be happy at all...

God really fail when God made ears... That's my opinion and I won't let God off the hook when I get to heaven, I want to know why God made ears always open 24/7 and not able to shut out sounds when need or want to...

What was God thinking?

I hope this is ok for me to share like this cause this is what I go through day/night day/night it even effects my sleep,

the audio world has ruin me, taken away everything, yet the audio world continues with out a break.

never stops the audio world continues, while ears with that hair in my ears, dances and accepts the sounds while I at times go insain.

when I go insain, its a world of no reason. oh and the exhaustion, everyday is a challenge for me,

oh and ringing of the ears, and pressures of ears, oh God that's so horrable,

I'm nice and kind as I keep reminding all, as I feel at times I turn into a ware wolf at times, but its not due to the full moon, its due to sounds that has trigger me to a breaking point.

then after I am a ware wolf, I remind all that actually I'm nice and kind, cause I want to be nice and kind. I really am nice and kind. I really am.

Viola I think anytime you live in an apartment especially if the walls are thin it's aggravating. Have you told your neighbors you can hear them if they are too loud?

Electrocell: walls to thin I agree and...
 

Hello Electocell, I agree apartment walls are to thin.

Have you ever brought to attention to someone to be more quiet and what was that like to bring it to their attention?

I'm still in a learning process when to bring my needs and wants known, I do know I aim for win/win...

I am proud of myself for when it was at the worse with my neighbor, I bring it known to her - and she said she need 30 days for sisters children to return to her sister...

she allow her sisters children to stay with her - well it felt like I was in one of those http://www.supernanny.com/

The children didn't want to sleep and would scream, slam things through the night, and rampage through the day, jumping, screaming, while adults scream, it felt as if I were in a day care, while I live alone in my apartment... I went way to long trying to tune it out, before I went to my neighbor to talk - aim for win/win.

Not knowing the full situation; perhaps no place for the children to live, maybe sister needs help and left the children there, I didn't know, however I became intrigue with the show http://www.supernanny.com/

My challenge as this is relation to deaf hard of hearing and as I gain hearing - I felt lost as to what is acceptable and what is not acceptable, as if ______ a dog barks - wakes me from a nap, is that acceptabe or not?

I was lost when does one complain or learn to tune out.

This book I read: [ame="http://www.amazon.com/The-Sound-Of-Miracle-Inspiring/dp/0825305330/ref=dp_ob_title_bk"]Amazon.com: The Sound Of A Miracle: The Inspiring True Story of A Mother's Fight to Free Her Child from Autism (9780825305337): Annabel Stehli: Books[/ame]

[ame="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/images/0825305330/ref=dp_image_0?ie=UTF8&n=283155&s=books"]Amazon.com: The Sound Of A Miracle: The Inspiring True Story of A Mother's Fight to Free Her Child from Autism (9780825305337): Annabel Stehli[/ame]


The Sound Of A Miracle: The Inspiring True Story of A Mother's Fight to Free Her Child from Autism

http://www.berardaitwebsite.com/sait/meaning.html

http://www.georgianainstitute.org/


Where my next challenge is my own anger. and how I am online: I'm noticing I'm expressing my emotions in relations with sounds. I'm noticing maybe I'm not polite:

I keep thinking I'm suppose to always be with a smile, always be a nice neighbor, make sure I'm kind, polite and nice, no matter what's going on in my mind, no matter what my emotions are:

for earth is sounds that roams freely, and who am I to complain, will others care?

I cop car siruns, thunder in sky, tornado siruns, what really puzzles me is those arab countries, singing through the populary area through speekers: oh and there's churches where bells happens in towns in the US:

what is acceptable what isn't, ones own mind doesn't count in this: emotions must be stopped, as only a smile must appear at all times... However when its time to complain, how does one complain, and..., I want to be a human and not a monster.

I know of someone who can't stand the sound of someone eating popcorn: yet knowing that this person can't make people stop eating popcorn if in a movie theator.

I'm intrig by this as if fixated, my dad makes us eat apples in another room, I'm fixated as during that time I'm hard of hearing, yet it confuses me when later in life I can hear: what is acceptable and not acceptable, when is it time to complain or not complain, how does one deal with their own mind, their own imagination when feeling.

And about online - who is this person who's typing - how I find me able to express: this pase of writing, time to think, yet I want to make sure this is in relation with this thread: I want to be kind, I want to learn.

I've never been diagnose as autism, as well as I never been taught ABA: its that I notice I think like how they teach ABA., always studying the behaviors around me as if fixaded and then using what I see around me to echo it, as I don't have my own understanding what is acceptable and not acceptable...

is this confusing at all as you heard all your life: have you ever found out you compain towards sounds and found out that sound is acceptable and you were suppose to tune it out?

always2late glad you can learn sign and what about
 

Hi always2late

Have you ever subscribe to YouTube channels where deaf people sign making videos vlog however signing?

I'm glad you're able to manage getting into a sign la., class this fall semester...

Hey what about this idea: what if you can do video vlogs at YouTube what its like learning signing, and majoring in speech pathology, that would be so cool if you do this, cause I vision you helping others as well as meeting others as well, that could would help you too...

I really like YouTube for this as I learn so much...

What are your thoughts about this?

Rockinonahigh about water running how frustrating
 

Hi Rockinonahigh, it went through before I finish writing, um, I think I spent to long on this message and anyways it went through before I finish.

That must of been so frustrating the water is left on and flooding the bathroom floor... any ideas you will try to remind yourself about turning of water;

yeah that does sound better that word challenge instead of impaired, I think I'll begin using that word too., I'm going to use the word language challenged.

I have the challenge of keeping up what I am hearing, I feel as if I'm dyslexic in a way, I hear the words but its to fast for me,

But I hear ever word though. But its a challenge.

So do you as you say, about chatter of life, what does that feel like about to chose not to wear hearing aid and have that power of silence, do you ever wonder how the hearing goes through always hearing; how they manage?

I feel like I slip into an unknown in away. I hear to well, way to well, I went from hard of hearing to hearing extremely well, yet I really don't have anything to compare to., docs says the bones in my ears are all wrong, so then what I do hear, even though I'm hearing is it the same way as others hear.

I don't know cause I'm not in their bodies to compare to...

I also have Meniere's disease in both ears, so then balance issues.

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/men...isease/DS00535

One time: I thought I was walking where I won't bump into., but no I walk right at the black man, "oh I'm sorry..." I say, as I wonder oh no what had I done, how off am I today, thinking I'm walking ok, how does that do that, my inner ears, had I had to much salt today, I feel high in away, like drunk...

I hadn't had any liquor, but sometimes I get high when having to much salt, but to walk into this strange black man, as he's holding hands with a white woman.,

true scene: how do I explain quickly my fault, I'm drain, my energy is no longer, my emotions drain; I'm a bad person,

they think of me as bad, what else will I do wrong today; focus more when walking,

oh no how off am I... will I make it through this grocery store, I should had grab a Cart, but no I walk freely,

God help me, I'm a nice person,

I said, "sorry to them..."

as they look at me really strange, like am I pshycho...

I have challenges of many kind, I'm always saying, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry..."

I get drain, I dont' want to see humans... I want to be alone...

Then there's online, I'm free, I can type...

but who is this person who's typing... I'm I over doing this?

I'm learning and maybe to summerize this: is awareness,

that's what I got from your message, the challenges of awareness, either from ourselves or from others,

the audio language fails us in awareness, the communication isn't there, the understanding isn't there,

audio world and ballance even the inner ear, the middle ear, the people with normal ears, awareness, is so challenging following the emotions;

I'm rambling can you tell I am in a way., just letting my thoughts flow...