Femmes Who Strap <3
 

Hey there my femme sisters - I know I'm not the only femme out there who has enjoyed strapping. Or who'd like to try it. Y'all out there? How do you feel about it, what do you enjoy most about it?

I am going to include an anonymous poll in this for those of y'all who feel shy answering such things.

I've enjoyed strapping but most of the people I have climbed into bed with have not been inclined to enjoy such things. I realized today I was feeling a little wistful about the likelihood of experiencing that again given my other tastes. I don't neeeeeed to strap, but wow it's neat when you're with somebody who enjoys it. :)

I tried, but I started to giggle, and my bf wasn't to keen on it ever since.
Whoops! :S

"other"
I strap when requested. I won't on my own as it's not one of my best loved activities but it doesn't put me off either. I've enjoyed it when they have *really* been into demanding it, and loving it and I'm happy to provide something that they really enjoy. But mostly I forget about it as it's not something I wank over in my head.

My girlfriend is not stone but is not into being strapped by a femme at all!

I think hell no were her exact words.

I have had the great pleasure in my past lives with others but seriously doubt it is in my future.

I only miss it once in a while...

For me, it depends on my partner. When I was a wee young thing (about 30) my ex and I went into PTown and I convinced her to go to the sex shop. She was not comfortable with me using a traditional strap, so I purchased a thigh harness. Definitely not the same experience as a strap that goes over pelvis, but hot nonetheless.

I grew into a full leather harness and had a plethora of lovely cocks! They were mine and I owned them. So, I would say, I strapped for the next 10 years and LOVED LOVED LOVED it. It was hot.

Today, hell no! If I never experience another strap/cock on these hips - I will be happy. Thankfully, my fabulous Dreamer would shudder at the idea of me strapping. Though, I have thought... Hmmmmm - Perhaps I should just fuck with his head and wear one on our wedding night! SURPRISE BABY!!!!

Oh, and I wish the poll had an option for - I tried it, and I loved it, but today it is not for me.

Julie

Femme Cock
 

I enjoy sex, period, and sometimes the sex I desire, want, crave and need includes me burying my cock deep in some.....


I hope, that more Femme's come in here and discuss this desire, want, need or exploration of themselves without judgment and *eww* commentary..

Thanks for the thread Nat!

I agree with you, Lady Snow. After ending a 34 year marriage (many years of lesbian death bed) I am discovering me love of femme cock, but cock, strapping, etc. I have begun to develop a collection of femme cocks and have recently fallen in love with me femme glass cock (omg). Nothing better than awakening to the fact that I am a sexual human. lol

I find femme cock very attractive. the few femmes I have been very attracted to have been dominant, top, and cock wielding. I may feel a bit "meh" about doing it myself (tho fun in the moment if spurred into it) but its been something that has attracted me to the rare femme. I can pick up on it before I know about it.

I was at a party and this one femme who was a bit "ladette" (hard to explain... wolfish. likes pool, beer, rough humoured, bit letchy) and very funny, but related to me a gentleman/rakish/letchy manner. making me laugh and then staring at my body and grinning - but not long enough to be disconcerting, more like an intense glance.

she gave me a ride to the store for more supplies and sitting next to her my whole body response was... it knew something my conscious brain didnt. she related to me just like my exwife did. we got to talking and she playfully made some kind of comment, I can't recall what it was but it wasn't direct... that she packed sometimes and talked about how she just wanted a lovely feminine girly girl to spoil and bascially fuck the hell out of.

my words. not hers. she was a bit more delicate.

it was one of the very few times I thought, while I was with my wife, oh I so would. its very hard to turn my head in the first place and I had only had three people made think "oooo" when I was with inks. she was one of them.

for me, attraction is about 1) a cock on a female or woman 2) a certain dynamic and that dynamic can actually be found between not just butch-femme (I know. I've spoken sacrelig. but hey, I have had queer dykes who weren't butches treat me with the same intent and 'manner' as a butch has). 3) tomboyish or masculine. she wasn't masculine, but she was tomboyish in a particular manner 4) Dominant

so femme cock is far from "ew" to me. just meh, for me wearing it.

(but thats different than hand using a dildo. which I can have great fun and skill doing. just not fond of looking down and seeing one between my legs. though I might feel different about it if I had a glitter harness and a spectacular disco dildo. Or one shaped like a nun)

I remember when my very first cock and harness came in the mail. I was pretty intimidated by the thought of wearing it, but I knew that the first time I put it on I wanted to be alone because I wanted to know how it felt. I wanted to know on my own if it would bother me or if I'd be cool with it. So as soon as I had some time alone, I unpacked it and figured out the harness and put it on. My first harness was a bit frustrating, but what I didn't know then was that there would in time come a certain satisfaction in tightening one down on me, that the act of fastening and tightening a harness would become a small erotic ritual of its own. That first time though it was a utilitarian effort. And I may have lingered in front of the mirror, may have worn it around for a while while I considered the implications and my future activities wearing such a thing. I liked seeing it in the mirror and I liked that when I looked down, between my breasts I could see it down there hard and ready. I guess it was the beginning of a new friendship, a new knowledge of myself. It felt good to wear it.

Then soon it was time to try it out. I think my greatest surprise was how instinct kicked in just fine. I didn't know if it would. I thought maybe it would be too alien an experience for me to get into. But my body knew what my mind did not.

Normally I don't have any strong desire to pack, but occasionally I've done it under a skirt. I liked being all dolled up and girly, and then knowing what I had lurking underneath, ready to go, pressed against me and waiting.

omg, Nat, you have read my mind, a kindred soul, femme packer (like me) strapping I need to find others who are like minded. whoa, I am dying to go pack

I don't have to have it, but it blows the top of my head off.

Well-said!! :D

wow, I haven't packed in about three weeks. Thanks to this thread I just put on my athletic briefs and packer (femme cock) and I am feeling so good. It's funny how my body just wants to start thrusting with it in.

Over the years I have worn a strap on a few times. There just something really hot about wearing a strap on for me. I love everything about it! I love the way I look with it on, I love how I can make my other half cum, beg for more and also beg for mercy. Oh I am turning my self on...

I strap. For decades I vowed I was a femme who would never strap on. I was totally opposed to wearing a strap on. Then I met chrissy. And glory bells and clouds parting occurred! I love the sense of power I have when I am in the depths of our lovemaking! I wish I hadnt wasted all those years of not doing this!

My sexual journey has been an interesting one. He has opened new worlds for me in many other ways as well.

Of the butches I have been with, none of them would EVER have entertained the thought of their femme wearing a strap on, let alone using it on them. If I were single, I wouldnt dismiss a potential butch if he werent willing to try this with me. But I would want an open relationship so I could continue to indulge with others.

So much has changed with my ideals of relationships...

On a slightly different note - perhaps because I have a few pangs of my own on this - and maybe this isn't something people will feel comfortable answering openly but I'll try to at least get the question(s) out there:

Do you as a femme feel pressure not to admit enjoying strapping? Or pressure to not enjoy it? or pressure not to share about it due to how it might cause your sweetie to be perceived should she/hy/he be known to enjoy receiving? Is there shame in femme cock?

And for the more masculine members of the community: Is there shame in taking femme cock? Do those of you who DO enjoy it feel a need to keep that secret so as not to be viewed as less masculine?

I know for a lot of people it's simply not their thing. But does anybody else feel pressure? Because even though I started the thread and even though I confess I enjoy strapping at times, I do have a slight fear that admitting so will make me appear less of a femme or less desirable. I refuse to be ashamed of exploring and practicing whatever range of sexual proclivities I happen to enjoy, but the fact that I have to choose to refuse to be ashamed tells me that on some level I experience shame that I then have to reject.

Hi Nat,

I really appreciate your honesty. I know how you feel since I have just begun to explore my attraction to strapping (which I have done before) and packing which I am just enjoying, as a femme. I know there is some shame because I have only talking about the strapping and packing here on site. I also know that although I would like to pack when going out I have not tried it for fear of reactions if the packing is noticed. I am conflicted because sometimes I think I would like to have it noticed. I am not really sure what the packing is all about. In the past I would have "analyzed" it but now I want to say f**ck that and just enjoy it. Since I am knew to being single I really don't know where to go with all this new found sexuality.

I have had a couple of femmes online like the idea of my packing and being turned on by it but this is still the very beginning of a journey for me.

I appreciate your candor and the fact that it is allowing others to dialogue about it. I guess, although not looking for a LTR now, I am just looking for someone to explore all these feelings with. I want a femme or soft butch to oww and ahh at my femme cock.

wow, surprising myself by opening up so.

as someone who is happy to do it for someone who wants it *and* being single I do feel *on these boards* (but not in my town) that by saying that, people would cross me off for consideration of a date.
most partners, no matter what their sexual proclivities are, generally have not wanted me to out them for anything sexual. that's why I generally talk about vauge exes. none of my partners have "got" my flippant/unconcerned blah blah about sex in a public manner.

Thoughts
 

I don't outside of online venues, outside of online venues how I fuck is not shocking or viewed as negative. I tend to think about how I am going to post or if I am going to on online venues there is almost a feeling of angst typing about how I like to fuck. There is a lot of *shaming*, *belittling*, *eewwing*, and *less than* attitudes when it comes to Femme Cock.

I enjoy it, it's something I am not willing to give up, it's important and vital to keeping me sexually aroused, satisfied, and happy. My enjoyment is met with some pretty ugly, hateful, shameful criticism from others and not only is it placed on me but also super imposed on anyone I decide to date/fuck/partner/be friendly with. Not only are all these things done then people have the weird, sick, odd, hateful, homophobic audacity to place a less than value of judgement on the people who I interact/fuck/love/sex up with. The hateful assignments have gone as far as imply that the people I am with are less than as in half a person for enjoying Femme Cock..

Penetration in online venues comes with this ridiculous assignment that it is feminizing, that only a bottom fucks. girly. emasculates a person etc etc. It's ok for femme/girls/womenwhoarefeminine to be prenetrated, Femme Cock doesn't have the perceived power that butch/masculine/guy/boy/boi/cock does, Femme Cock is assigned as silly, ridiculous, gross, eeewy. ickie and so on, this asumption is continously perpetuated by not only women of the feminine persuasion all the way up to the women who present masculine to self made men in online forums.

*I* personally believe that Femme Cock will continue to be looked upon with continous disapproval by the online venues unless more people open up and talk about their desires surrounding Femme Cock.


I am hoping this thread does that!

Bouncing off her....
 

THIS in bold, I totally agree and also if they do not cross you off the dating list, they place you on the list of the go to girl for a good fuck, it doesn't matter that you have never even considered them, sexual empowerment comes with assigned shit that is pretty gross and sexist.

Thanks for letting bounce off ya HB *winks*

I think it also should be noted of my sister femmes responding to the poll:

10% of us consider it vital to their (our) sex life.

25% of us enjoy strapping and are happy when we get to strap.

13.33% of us never have strapped but want to strap.

That is a grand total of 48.33% of femmes that have positive to very positive feelings/thoughts/enjoyment of strapping.

Just sayin'.

:cheerleader:

From a butch perspective pov about being onthe receiving end......
 

silly hot
 

Sex doesn't make us who we are; doesn't make us butch or femme or gay or straight. You like cock or you don't. Hand held or strapped or any other form it comes in. Why does giving or receiving make anyone more or less than in any given identity? Lots of femmes don't like taking cock and lots of butches don't strap and neither makes anyone less than. How we express ourselves sexually is individual and has no correlation to identity-based personal value. To award that based solely on who fucks whom is buying into the wrong set of standards.

This judgment is part of the hetero patriarchy that so many of us refute and abhor and to use those same standards with each other is assinine. Women are weak, men are strong; to receive is weakness, to give is power. In the straight world, pegging isn't talked about because real men don't get fucked. In our world, the negative reactions to femmes strapping and butches taking it are rooted in those same stale morals and gender definitions. It's ok to say 'no thanks' but it's not ok to make a comment that belies those negative social mores. Sex isn't about power unless that's predetermined between those involved. Why can't it just be about feeling good?

And oh yeah, as a butch, I'd melt if I saw that coming towards me.

It is true that this is how many look at sex. There is no shortage of sexist and misogynistic people that's for sure. Fortunately they don't run my sex life. I prefer to give, but since I take all my cues from my partner it's hard to believe that I am actually the one with the power or even the control really. The illusion is that I'm have the power, that I'm in control, but it's not the reality. I probably have more power when I'm on the receiving end. But anyway I have no problem receiving when I'm in the mood. Truthfully, I am not always open to receiving, I'm just not wired that way. But when I am interested in receiving, I love to be fucked. Fuck me silly thank you very much. I'm not big on receiving oral sex. It feels like too much focus on me. I can't concentrate that hard. Love to give it though. But when it's me being done bring on the femme cock. That's how i like it. Penetration is what works best for me. However, most things are negotiable. And it's not a requirement that my partner strap. There's more than one way to fuck this butch. But if she likes to strap, that's really hot. It's funny I don't look at it as butch cock when I strap, I don't see it as an extension of myself. But calling it femme cock when a partner straps, that makes me smile.

I just saw this. I'll do my best to answer.

Is there shame in taking femme cock?

Well there are plenty of people who would like to shame me for taking femme cock and admitting I love it. There are those who are more than happy to hand out some shame if I'll take it.

Do I feel a need to keep that secret so as not to be viewed as less masculine?

Well, let's review. Besides being a butch, I am a woman, a feminist, and a lesbian. I use the pronoun she. I admit to wearing both women's and men's clothing including underwear. And my online name is Miss Tick.

I think that ship has sailed.

Do I care? Not really. Maybe a little. I don't know. I suppose so. Yes. No.
All of the above.

Yes, yes, yes on the seeing and experiencing Femme Cock shaming and "ewwwing". It really pisses me off and I try and speak up about the fact that I have a cock whenever it seems like people need to check their assumptions at the door. I mean, how could someone who looks cute and girly use and identify with a cock, right? *facepalm*

I have strapped since my first ever sexual relationship when I was a teenager. It's always been "normal" to me. My boyfriend was a cisman and a lot older and he asked me to strap with him, so I did and I really liked it. Over time, I came to really identify with my cock and wanting to being the one that penetrates and fucks, and there is a lot of gender shit bound up in there that I think Femmes RARELY ever get to talk about. My cock is essential to me, and is a part of my identity. I would love to see Femme cock talked about openly and freely.

I was never SHAMED for it, though, until I came into the Butch/Femme community. The online shaming is particularly bad, I agree with that. Though I have been shamed in r/t and seen my partners shamed in both forums (for lack of a better word). I have been worried about being honest about being open about that aspect of my sexuality before due to these experiences. These days I give less of a shit except for where I feel it's necessary to speak up and be visible, and lend my solidarity as a Femme and also to feminine women being sexually empowered in general.

It gets really tiring to STILL see certain sex activities being AUTOMATICALY labeled as masculine or feminine or dominant or submissive or any combination thereof. For me, my cock is very much wrapped up in my experience as a Dominant--but that's my experience of it. And I have never been less Femme for strapping, nor ever seen my partners as less Butch or less of a man.

I will leave it at that for now, but I really look forward to more conversation and will try to come back at another time when I feel more able, to talk about Femme cock and gender.

It's kinda reassuring to read this re the shaming -- sadly. Sometimes I think this stuff is just me, being overly sensitive, or framing things too often in terms of some ism or another. But it really does happen, doesn't it?

The worst I ever got in this community, offline and on, was not re femme cock but when I first dated a femme (here in CA). Real "ewwwwws" from people who ought to know better. Lots of them. The worst of it is that a few people weren't nice to the woman I was seeing. Oh well. Old news.

Personally, the idea of strapping leaves me cold (even though I'm very much in touch with the idea of my clit as a real cock in my head). I would add to that that even being on the receiving end of a strap on isn't my cup of tea - it's the visual of the strap itself that makes it all seem just a little too 'fake'

I can only speak for myself (obviously), but the reason why *I* haven't responded until now is that I saw this thread as a celebration of femme cock and didn't feel comfortable coming into a thread that celebrates something to say what I've said in my first paragraph. Your post made me realize though that by not being honest, I'm screwing (excuse the pun) with the statistics.

So no, not for me BUT really glad to see other femmes posting that it's something they enjoy.

Words

this thread is sooo important
 

this has been one of the most freeing threads I have read on my short time on bfp. I came out in 1968 and there was not room for a discussion such as this. You were butch, femme, radical lesbian. The politics drove the definition more than the sexuality. In fact when I was in a group therapy with other lesbians and we talked about our many sexualities we tried to be PC about it, which meant on appearance we were accepting but we were never really sex positive. I probably would have strapped as a femme a long time ago. I probably would have packed under my suede minis at the bars in NY then and reveled in the surprise (if my slow dance partner) felt my femme cock waiting for her when we danced. But I didn't. How I restricted myself.

Even at home when I pack (I haven't been sexual other than online with anyone since I left my partner 1.5 years ago) I find myself not allowing the full joy of experiencing my femme cock. I am though, for the first time, when I pleasure myself enjoying using my many different femme cocks on myself).

I have my first date on Sunday and although this feels like something that I can mention here if and when I get sexual with someone not sure how to approach it

I am too old to let eeewwing get in my way. I have let too many things in life define me even when I wanted to define myself.

I respect the women on this thread who are willing to self reflect and share so that others can follow suit.

Thank you
 

I'd like to thank all of you for your posts. I've read each of them. You all seem very self-assured. I'm not going to try to name names but make comments to different things I read that stood out to me.

I strapped once at my partner's (at the time) request. It didn't feel comfortable to me. That said, I have no problem with a femme strapping. I dislike the judgmental people who think it's okay to voice their negative opinions about people not "fitting" into the box they feel each of us should be in based on a label.

my name is PwrFemme for a reason. I don't strap but I see power in being a femme. Some people feel "femme" and "weak" should go together. I also wear the label of feminist and have heard negativity attached to that label as well.

I am attracted to Femme's as well as to Heelbilli, my spouse. That is an admission that I haven't shared much because, as already said, people "eww" you. I guess approaching 50 makes me care less what people think and maybe I'll start speaking my mind more.

I'm joining this thread and I hope it's a place you all will continue to be out-spoken and where I can feel comfortable being me.

thinking out loud here
 

pls bear with me because I am putting random thoughts regarding this thread on paper. I am trying to tie what we are saying to what we have all internalized in this society regarding our female development. We are taught what "female" is by our dominant society, mostly white male, who owned females by virtue of marriage and others by virtue of the idea that anyone other can be owned, dehumanized and abused. We are taught many things in our lives that are untrue, particularly in the history of this country regarding power and privilege.

As women we tend to NOT support each other using unconscious micro and social aggressions. That is what, I believe, we are all speaking out against. It goes unsaid that ewww and it's not masculine or feminine or whatever is really bullying. This thread is sort of saying we are going to be supportive of choice and dialogue with the bystanders.

I know I sound "academic" but I am an academic and teach all this but unless we own our own parts in the process that is all it is: academic.

This is important on this site and other places in our lives. Like I said to myself today. What if I did pack outside? Where would I go, how will I handle any perceived "ews" that's weird, etc.

We can as a site, co-construct our worlds. We are already doing it. But social aggression is how "woman" have been allowed to demean other women in the dominant society. Let's be aware of our day to day behavior....and wiggle the finger at ourselves when we act in a heterosexist, racist, ismphobic way. (In class if someone is caught by another student doing something that has been constructed out of demeaning the other: ie. when we say "he or she is on the bottom of the totem pole", "brown nosing, etc). We wiggle the finger and the all discuss our treaspasses not tear each other down for them.

thanks, again for listening