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LGBTQ Representation in the Media
The SVU thread got me thinking about starting this thread...a discussion about where and how our community is represented (or not) in the media--the good, the bad, the ugly and everything in between.
Here's an ad I found today that was shown in Canada during the Olympics but not the United States. The Lesbian Hyundai Olympic Ad That Was Too Hot For (American) Television |
Love the ad! Thanks for sharing.
The first person that came to mind was Rachel Maddow, then the list grew from there. Thanks for starting this thread :) |
I have been thinking, and although I think Will & Grace was a breakthrough show for the times, I believe the characterization of the gay roles were based on cliches and stereotypes. As soon as I typed that I realized that so was the L word...hmmm.
I think that the gay characters on Grey's Anatomy are an improvement, indeed. As a whole, I believe that the media does a very poor job of representing those of us in the LGBTQ community. |
Does anyone remember the character "Vasquez" in one of the Alien movies? I think the movie depicted one of the very few examples of "Female Masculinity" on the big screen.
When I first viewed this character, my mind screamed out "Butch." ( Of course I also noticed Vasquez was a Latina/o.) Although back when this movie came out, I think it was somewhat of a new or unspoken concept that one could be or feel/project butch and be with a cisgender male. __________________________________________________ _____________ http://http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/...e_Alien_series Vasquez Private Vasquez (Jenette Goldstein) was a smartgunner on the Sulaco, partnered with Drake. Vasquez survived the hive and helped seal off the complex from the aliens. She fought together with Drake and killed many aliens during the attack. She was injured when acidic blood from an alien that was shot at point blank range landed on her leg disabling her. Gorman and Vasquez together put their hands on a live grenade to avoid being taken by the aliens. Scholar Judith Halberstam, in her book titled Female Masculinity, wrote that the character is a strong example of female masculinity in film. The Aliens: Colonial Marines comic book limited series features her younger sister (Carmen Vasquez), also a Marine. |
There was very little LGBTQ representation on tv when I was growing up in the 60's-70's. We had one tv, my dad chose what we watched. I remember a particular episode of All in the Family with Archie coming home after performing CPR on a woman in his cab. The character (Beverly LaSalle) turns out to be in drag. That was the first time I can remember anything like that. Of course it was played for laughs and shock value.
I grew up in a conservative Catholic family. I never knew any queer people in real life and rarely saw them on tv and when someone was it was played for a joke. I'm not saying that it would have made my coming out process to my family any easier. But the LGBTQ youth of today may benefit in that there is more accurate representation on television now then that of the past. |
CBS responds to gay criticisms
Friday, March 5 2010, 7:12am EST By Dan French, TV Editor CBS will make a conscious effort to introduce gay characters into its shows, network president Nina Tassler has confirmed. Last year, the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation criticised the Eye network for its lack of gay characters, while it was recently reported that CBS had rejected adverts from a gay dating site. "Any show can have gay characters," Tassler told The Hollywood Reporter. "We're conscious of that as well. This year one of our pilots, Quinn-tuplets, has gay characters. Any series can. "This year we made a concerted effort to suggest to producers, if not in pilot, then as we go forward." Tassler added: "Diversity has always been a priority. It is a conscious choice across the board to pay attention and to add diversity any way we can." -------------------- On entirely different note, remember that Jack, in Three's Company, had to pretend to be gay in order to live with Chrissy and Janet? That was weird now that I think back on it--how he *acted* the caricature of gay when the landlord came by--very swish etc... Oh, and I couldn't watch Soap (conservative Catholic upbringing as well) b/c of it's *adult content* -- remember Billy Crystal played a gay man named Jodie? Those are two of my earliest memories regarding TV and this issue. |
It just kills me that the we in the US are so prissy! That commercial was so vague. Ehhhhhh.
I am thrilled to see people like Rachael, Ellen and Wanda Sykes are out and very popular. Yes, they make them wear make up and try to feminize them a bit, but it is better than it used to be. Things are definitely better than when we were kids, but there is still a looong way to go. |
I'm with Ezee, I felt the void growing up and I think those growing up gay today have so many benefits, and the simple of joy of being able to watch a TV show that has a character that you may or may not identify with.
I say that because I am not one that believes that TV characters should be our heroes or those we are inspired to be (well except for a few) or look up to, but it is plain fun to me so see gay characters on a show. Also, I think as a teenager I would have appreciated seeing those who reflected what I was going through, if only for the fact that it would have made dealing with the mixed feelings a bit easier. And I had forgotten about CBS and their homophobic stance regarding the Super Bowl ad. Grrrr! |
We really had no role models growing up.
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I'm taking a different angle with this post.
I am so angry about how the media is treating little Shiloh Jolie-Pitt. The obsession with this child and her appearance is disgusting. This fixation includes multiple articles on her appearance, as well as speculation of (even!) this child's orientation, reeks of homophobia and transphobia. Just b/c at age THREE (!?), she is not conforming to what the press/society wants her to look like, they are ALL OVER IT. I feel gross even talking about it b/c she is just a child, but it does reveal a lot about the media and press and what happens when even a child does not conform to societal gender expectations when it comes to appearance. Here's an article about it on After Ellen: Shiloh Jolie-Pitt's haircut makes headlines by Dorothy Snarker |
Some Reading Material
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and he thinks its funny? |
Is Shiloh was not some celebrities kid, no one would give a fuck..
Just sayin' I call my son Worm it does not mean he is asexual:quickdraw: |
I really don't like the way TV shows gay/lesbian people on tv. There has been a few, like Billy Crystal when he played Jodie.I tried watching the L word from a patient that loaned me the tapes and i said no thanks after watching the first one, I guess I was a lucky kid growing up. 85 % of my mothers friends were gay and lesbian. Our neighbor's up the street were a Lesbian Latino couple. My mom use to go up and drink wine and was always invited to both houses when my parents threw a party or they threw a party. My Dad would go skinny dipping in the bay with the oldest one(Margo).Most of the cat breeders in our club were gay and lesbians.When I was coming out ,a couple of lesbian friends of my mom said has "s" crossed over yet and my mom said I think so.I had Uncle George and Uncle Edward a couple that were together for over 25 yrs that became my kids Uncles. My parents never put us in "roles" so I really thank my Great Spirit for having the parents i did and still to this day.I was the Tomboy and my sister was the "girlie-girl".
I think that TV and movies are moving forward to a more openness of how some gay or lesbians are in real life. Now if they can just get it together for the trans community. TIMBER |
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However, if I let my objective side take a walk and let my 'if it's in print, it MUST be true' side come to the foreground, I say flippin' excellent! If Shiloh wants shorter hair and wants to dress tomboyish and wants to be called John and Brad and Angelina are doing it, brilliant. When I think about it, these are two of the most accepting people in the celebrity scene. Besides, I actually prefer the shorter hair on her. It is absolutely adorable! Now, back to the logical part of my post...yes, it's disturbing how much attention is fostered on kids in the media. Let them be, people. Oh, and I also think that the representation our community has in the media is quite slim. There's no way to represent every branch of our community tree, but I wish they would try harder to do so and to make those characters really good and likeable. I do like Wong's character on SVU. But is being cast as a therapist the only way for our community members to receive a decent representation? Is that only field that 'good lil gay boys 'n girls' get to shine in (without becoming a caricature or stereotype)? That irritates me. |
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Totally agree with your words I underlined. What I don't agree with is the fact that the media is so concerned as to what this could MEAN for Shiloh's possible gender/sexual orientation. This is how (not) far we have come in terms of anyone--even children--transgressing what society thinks is appropriate gender norms. (and then you see them celebrating and praising Suri Cruise for her little heels and dresses; it's messed up). |
One More Lesbian: The Lesbian Media Site
About One More Lesbian: Our mission here is really two fold, the first is visibility. In the LGBT community, we often complain about the fact that we do not have enough/correct representation in the media. While we believe this to be true, there are also many films, TV shows, and web series around the world that do represent us in all of our colors. The Internet has given us the ability to explore and experience video content around the world, but unfortunately the word “lesbian” has also become synonymous with pornography on almost all of the various video sites…which brings us to the second part of our mission – accessibility. We’re constantly sifting through the various video search engines to find true lesbian content for OML, but we’re really only as strong as our members, viewers, and community help us be. A great deal of what you see is submitted by viewers like you. Nothing makes us happier than to find a new film, character, or music video that we’ve never heard of…and this is exactly the reason for this site. We want any woman or girl anywhere in the world who seeks representation and affirmation, to land on OML and find it here. At last count, we’re now viewed in 186 different countries. Many of these countries are a part of the “3rd World” where such content is neither broadcasted, screened, sold, or rented. One More Lesbian welcomes everyone but it is created by lesbians for lesbians and bisexual women. We ask all of you to help us grow by submitting any content you have produced or have stumbled upon. |
Fascinating thread! I really enjoyed read it. Thanks to all who posted.
I have a strong memory of the first lesbian I saw on tv was also on All in the Family. Edith's aunt dies and she inherints a silver tea service. The aunts's partner goes to Edith and explains why the tea set is so important and asks if may have it instead. I remember that Edith's initial confusion and then dawning awareness was priceless and meant to be for a laugh - yet she also very compassionately returned the tea set to the woman. I remember thinking - at age 7 or so - wow - that was the right thing to do. Its a powerful pop cultural memory and a good media portrayal, I believe. |
Last night I went to see Prodigal Sons. It is a full feature documentary film about Kimberly Reed a MTF Lesbian born and raised in Montana.
Maybe because I come from a large family that of course has its dysfunction this film spoke to me on many levels. Kimberly also has an adopted brother, Marc, who suffers from a brain injury and is estranged from his sister Kimberly. The film reached across the standard fare and went a little deeper. Sibling rivalry, domestic violence abuse, adolescence, death, grief, hiding, deflection and facing some of the demons head on with authenticity and still hope. This film IMO, portrayed a Transwoman and her family in a very forthright, real way, and with humanity. The film shows Kimberly not only as a MTF but as a human being with family and her journey in moving through the plethora of issues that come with transitioning. I think LGBTQ people were portrayed fairly and with depth. It showed that Kimberly is so much more. She is not merely some social experiment and/or rebel. The fullness of much of her past and current life was captured. http://http://www.prodigalsonsfilm.com/drupal/index.php |
From After Ellen:
Vote Now for the Top 50 Lesbian/Bi TV, Film, and Web Series Characters
Despite the bleak reality of the disappearing lesbians on primetime television last year, 2010 is already looking a little better, with a new crop of lesbian/bi characters turning up in starring and recurring roles. The same is true of lesbians on film, with some high-profile movies featuring lesbian characters already making the rounds at mainstream and LGBT film festivals this year. That's why we think it's the perfect time to consider those lesbian/bi characters that have made a lasting impression on us all. Whether they were struggling to come to terms with their own sexuality, juggling too many women, or trying to figure out how to use their powers for good instead of evil, there have been many lesbian/bi characters in film, television, and even in web series, who have made us laugh, cry, scream, and, sometimes, scratch our heads wondering "What the hell just happened?" When it comes to all of these scenarios, we're not naming names — but we hope you will. In our first annual survey of the Top 50 Lesbian/Bi TV, Film, and Web Series Characters, we're asking you to name your favorite fictional characters of all time. So while you probably have your current favorites, please dig deep into your own personal pop culture vault and try to include even those who aren't currently on the air or big screen, and maybe even those who just seem to be in eternal syndication. The characters you choose can be from any genre of scripted film, television or web series, and from US or international shows and films. Votes for reality stars or other "real" people won't be considered. We're strictly looking for your votes on the best fictional characters. It's up to you to decide exactly what criteria you use to determine the "best." All we ask is that you limit your choices to female characters (we leave the men for the folks over at our brother site, AfterElton.com who are conducting their own poll here). We suggest you ask yourself what characters have moved you in a significant way? What characters do you think changed the way viewers view lesbians and bi women &mdsah; or impacted subsequent TV portrayals of lesbians and bisexual women? Or maybe it's simply a question of what characters struck you as the most "real" and the most expertly written and performed? You can enter up to 10 names in the form below but keep in mind a couple of rules. First, no ballot stuffing. Ballots with the same character name listed more than once will be discarded. Also, only one vote per ISP address will be permitted. Only the last form submission from an ISP address will be counted. Thiis poll is open to all of our readers. Feel free to encourage your Facebook friends and Twitter followers to weigh in too! Voting will be open until midnight March 5th and the results will be posted on March 15th. |
From GLADD: Call to Action
Call to Action:
Tell Life & Style That Focus on the Family Aren't "Experts" in Raising Children Dear GLAAD Supporter, The latest issue of Life & Style, a popular celebrity gossip magazine with a readership of almost 1 million, features a cover story that claims that actress Angelina Jolie is turning Shiloh, her daughter with Brad Pitt, into a boy. They cover asks "Is it harming the three-year-old?" referring to the child's short haircut, pants and polo shirt. The article cites several so-called “experts,” like Glenn Stanton from the virulently anti-gay Focus on the Family who says: “They need help, they need guidance of what that looks like. It’s important to teach our children that gender distinction is very healthy.” When a magazine like Life & Style slaps this mixture of intrusive tabloid sensationalism and judgmental stereotyping on its cover, it can make life difficult for young people who are in the process of coming to terms with who they are. The magazine needs to send a message to its readers — many of them parents — that they should not reject their children simply because they don’t happen to conform to Life & Style’s narrow gender stereotyping. None of these “experts” has the qualifications to claim what is healthy or unhealthy for Shiloh. Rashad Robinson, Senior Director of Media Programs for GLAAD says, “We believe media has a responsibility to differentiate between credible authorities and politically motivated (and usually self-proclaimed) experts like Focus on the Family’s Glenn Stanton.” Life & Style magazine only adds to the sensationalism of the article by giving a platform to Stanton. "Life & Style is way off the mark with this outrageous coverage," Robinson adds. “Targeting children for ridicule about the way they dress is unacceptable, regardless of their parent’s celebrity status.” In response to the cover story, The National Center for Transgender Equality told the Advocate, “The length of Shiloh's hair or the clothes she wears are really matters for her and her parents to decide; this is a family that is known for their fashion, says Justin Tanis, outreach manager for NCTE tells The Advocate. “What's important here is that every child, including Shiloh, has the opportunity to express herself and explore her world in a way that is safe and nurturing for her. Our society needs healthy, well-rounded children whose interests and tastes are as diverse as the children themselves[s]. Shiloh — and all other children — deserve the right to be themselves in ways that feel right to them as they learn and grow.” GLAAD contacted Lindsay Ferraro, the Publicity Manager of Life & Style, to voice our serious concerns about this story. The magazine’s response was dismissive and showed no concern for the impact of the cover story’s sensationalism on all children and families. We urge community members to voice their concerns directly to the magazine. Contact: Dan Wakeford, Life & Style: Editor-in-Chief dwakeford@bauer-usa.com Lindsey Ferraro, Life & Style: Publicity Manager lferraro@bauer-usa.com (201) 569-6699 x 648 Sarah Drabick Life & Style: Associate Publicist sdrabick@bauer-usa.com The headquarters for Bauer Publishing (which includes an Entertainment Division that is the home of Life & Style and InTouch) is: 270 Sylvan Avenue Englewood Cliffs, NJ 07632 Tel: (201) 569-6699 Fax: (201) 510-3297 |
Happy birthday media God blessed us on this day
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HowSoonIsNow, what a great thread. I think it raises a good deal of questions, and perhaps we won't solve the *GLBTQ in the Media* issue here, but it's a great forum to discuss.
As I read through the posts, I am both touched by the stories and a little concerned with some of the narrow-visioning displayed. We are so very quick to attack the media for the lack of GLBTQ representation. Was it really so long ago that married heterosexuals were even allowed to share the same bed on television? Was it so long ago, that they were allowed to kiss, or hold hands? When I was a child, I recall my parent's outward disapproval of a particular episode of Leave it to Beaver where the Beave held hands with a girl and let her kiss him on the cheek. And these were kids!!!! My parent's were outraged that this display of affection was being shown on television. I remember Ozzie and Harriet, as well as June and Ward, and Luci and Desi all sharing separate twin beds. I always wondered if they pushed the beds together when the doors were closed. LOL. My point here, if it isn't obvious, is that perhaps we need to give it time. The U.S. and its media has "come a long, baby." Is it where it needs to be, or even should be in our communities' eyes? Definitely not. But it is *somewhere* dear people of GLBTQ identities. It is somewhere that it wasn't 10 years ago; hell, even 5 years in many cases. As with all things, give it time. I believe a lot has and still is being done to bring *us* to the public eye. I know it will continue, and it will grow, and yes there will be mistakes along the way - but it is all carving the path for and to our representation in many forums. |
I think the first sympathetic portrayal I saw of a Transwoman was on Ally McBeal. Anyone remember her name? (I had a hard time just remembering Ally's name, lol...) One of the lawyers fell in love with her and even considered dating her after he found out she was trans, but he couldn't sustain the relationship.... and the show was about as honest as I've seen, portraying not just his reaction, but also her pain. I was amazed.
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I think somebody already mentioned this, but when the character "Beverly Lasalle" appeared on "All in the Family", and Archie - despite himself - grew to like her and see her as a friend - I think that was a milestone for us. If ARCHIE could see Beverly as a person - maybe even a woman........ When he mourned her death - it was a very touching moment. Perhaps that character wouldn't be considered a great portrayal of someone from our community by today's standards, but it was groundbreaking in it's respectfulness at the time.
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Wikipedia isn't always my favorite brand of data...but I couldn't find anything else as comprehensive.
List of TV shows with LGBTQI characters Of note: It appears that daytime Soap Operas were pretty progressive for the time... Barney Miller? I don't necessarily want to give Reality TV any kudos...but there have been many queer folks on various programs. With MTV leading the pack. |
Over the weekend I remembered another episode of "All In the Family" that affected me. Edith's cousin passed away, and Edith went to recover a silver tea set that had been in the family for generations from her cousin's "room mate". Even though Edith wasn't the brightest bulb on the tree, she was always a kind woman. When she realized that the "room-mate" was really her cousin's partner, and that the two woman had shared tea from that tea set every day after work, she decided to leave the set with her. Edith worked from an emotional level and recognized what the woman was going through - no overt support for the loss of her partner, no claim on the tea set - which had great sentimental value for her......
I realize now that seeing that episode was an eye-opener for me, and may actually have been responsible for me staying in the closet for so long. It had never occured to me before that lesbians had to keep their relationships hidden. |
If These Walls Could Talk 2 was an amazing and powerful docudrama collection, especially concerning lesbians- from:
http://lesbianlife.about.com/cs/subject1/gr/ITWCT2.htm If These Walls Could Talk 2 was originally an HBO Special, showing the lives of different generations of lesbians that all lived in the same house over generations. Produced by Ellen DeGeneres and directed by Anne Heche, ITWCT2 is one of the best representations of the lives of lesbians on film. If These Walls Could Talk 2 portrays the lives of three different generations of lesbians. In 1961 Vanessa Redgrave plays the 'widow' of her partner of 50 years. In one of the most heart-breaking stories ever, Redgrave helplessly watches as a distant relative of her partner comes and take possession of their belongings. No story could more poignantly argue for the rights of same-sex marriage. In 1972, college girl Michelle Williams meets soft butch Chloe Sevigny at a lesbian bar. Although her friends disaprove of Chloe's dress, Michelle can't keep away from the sauve soft-butch on a Harley. Sexy and hot! Ellen DeGeneres and Sharon Stone star in 2000 as a lesbian couple who wants nothing more than to have a baby. The love scenes between DeGeneres and Stone are worth the price of this video alone! If These Walls Could Talk 2 is one of the best looks at the real lives of lesbians. It's funny, sexy, well-acted and directed. My only real complaint is that all of the main characters are white. By Kathy Belge, About.com Guide |
Several years ago, I saw this movie at a GLBTQ film festival in WA. I was moved, so moved...well, pretty much crying the entire time :)
Inlaws & Outlaws<<<Website The trailer isn't that great... [ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FXeNyoqTLW0"]YouTube- Inlaws & Outlaws Preview[/ame] 2 of the older couples, one gay, one lesbian- told of their stories of YEARS of being closeted and then living as a couple for more than 50 years. It was beautiful to hear and watch the depth of their love for their partner(s) and how much they had weathered over the years. One of the men died last year. He might have made me cry the most :bigcry: I wish movies like this were played on primetime TV so people could see we are and live just like everyone else. |
Queering Pop Culture!
[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WxWskedKAVU&feature=related"]YouTube- You Belong With Me - Gay version[/ame]
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A thought about the media...........
I work in the media, and want to encourage any and all who feel that there is a lack of media coverage on issues of importance, to look into Public radio, and Public TV stations in your area. Most stations have in their Mission statements that they exist to help the undeserved communities have a voice. You can get trained in both facets, and become a part of the media.This gives you the opportunity to represent in ways that give meaning and power to you, your organizations and viewpoints. And it's fun. Just saying.........
:cat: Pashi |
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From GLADD: Call to Action
CALL TO ACTION:
Demand That Ticked-Off Trannies with Knives Be Pulled from Tribeca Film Festival Line-up By marketing Ticked-Off Trannies with Knives as a "transploitation" film, by using the word "trannies" (a pejorative term for transgender people) in the title of the film, by casting transgender women in some roles, and by citing the murders of Angie Zapata and Jorge Mercado in the trailer, Israel Luna has attempted to place his film squarely within a transgender narrative. However, while some of the actors in the film identify as transgender, the characters are written as drag queens, “performing” femininity in a way that is completely artificial. The very names of these over-the-top female caricatures (Emma Grashun, Rachel Slurr, et al.) drive this point home. Because of its positioning as a transgender film, viewers unfamiliar with the lives of transgender women will likely leave this film with the impression that transgender women are ridiculous caricatures of "real women." It demeans actual transgender women who struggle for acceptance and respect in their day-to-day lives and to be valued for their contributions to our society. ------------------ I learned about this story from joemygod who posted a trailer and wrote: GLAAD has posted a petition calling for the film to be removed for the roster. Here's the trailer, judge for yourselves: Ticked-Off Trannies With Knives - movie trailer What do you think? |
Official Member: Evil Gay Conspiracy
Okay it's Friday and time for a little fun. I read this today from the SF Chronicle newspaper straight out of the Land of Sodom and Gomorra, aka San Francisco. It is all very "Tongue-in-Cheek." I am sure this is what many of the extreme right ilk imagine is taking place in those bastions of Lefty Liberals. Enjoy.
_________________________________________ Official member: Evil Gay Conspiracy By Mark Morford, SF Gate Columnist Friday, March 26, 2010 "Texas Freedom Network, Planned Parenthood, and the Human Rights Campaign work together as 'triplets' and speak with one voice. Mark Morford is a part of that network. What parent in his right might would want TFN and their network to have any influence over what impressionable and vulnerable students are taught?" -- In hilarious defense of the odious Texas State Board of Education, apparently Here's how it usually goes down: "The network" usually meets every Sunday morning at the churchly hour, right about 10 a.m. or so, at a top-secret location that is definitely not the latex water bondage olive oil leather-curing rope-making genital-torture foosball dungeon-slash-jam preserves stockroom over at kink.com, so please stop pounding on the door and begging to come in, OK? It always starts the same way. Everyone hugging, kissing and injecting the demon seed into his/her genitalia and then inseminating the 13 glistening, moaning virgins, as we casually swap stories of our recent kitten bloodlettings and imbibe copious amounts of laudanum and absinthe from the polished skulls of Christian babies culled from last week's clandestine raids at various Orange County Gymborees. Then, coffee. After six or seven hours of foot massaging, chanting, flagellating, bathhouse-grade sodomy, and the scraping of evil fingernails against the Great Chalkboard of Unrepentant Doom ($29.99, IKEA), we start the meeting. Correction: It's not really a meeting, per se. More like a salon, an idea swap, a wicked cauldron of perverted inequity, wanton inebriation and sweaty yoga that's overslathered with entirely reasonable desires to deeply corrupt and misguide the youth of America, touch all straight people and make them gay and/or perverted, and further analyze methods by which we can seed giant clouds over Kansas, Texas and Utah to rain down body glitter, organic kombucha and Hendrick Hertzberg articles. You know, typical. We're all there, like the Super Friends of Sodom, like What's Wrong With America, Inc.: Members of the ACLU, the Human Rights Campaign, Planned Parenthood, GLAAD, MoveOn, NOW, The Sierra Club, the liberal media (ahem), and many, many others, various and sundry groups/acronyms whose mission statements only seem to promote helping millions of people live better and more freely, but are really dedicated to converting unsuspecting adults to the joys of skimpy spandex bathing suits, champagne enemas and making Lady Gaga Supreme Leader of the Known Galaxy Including Hawaii. Barbara from Planned Parenthood usually makes these crazy delicious cupcakes, totally decadent chocolate things with rum and real cream, covered in candy sprinkles and the scorched ashes of the Fallen. Every once in a while she throws in a surprise flavor, and the lucky person who takes a bite of her Abortion Rights Special (tastes like choice!) gets to immolate herself at the Great Altar of Gleeful Lube -- basically a big, acrylic bust of Dan Savage -- while we all watch and cheer and whip the Mormon slaveboys into bringing us more drinks. For the record: Screaming Moloch's many glorious names during the Ritual Call of Happy Blasphemy sounds totally funny when you do it through a mouthful of chocolate cupcake crumbs. Just FYI. We always crack up, even as the floor rips open and spurts up the blood of the Master. When Satan invariably appears, looking, somewhat oddly, like a cross between Thomas Friedman, Bill Maher and Charo, he's always, like, "WTF are you guys laughing about? OMG, tell me!" Drives him totally crazy. Then he has a cupcake. All better. Barbara = awesome! It's not always perfectly attended. Sometimes Rich from the ACLU can't make it, has this or that sudden flare-up issue to address, perhaps some lesbian high school prom thing in Mississippi or a racist toy at a Des Moines Wal-Mart, that sort of thing. Do not misunderstand: We all think the ACLU does fine work. It ain't easy chasing down some of society's saddest and tackiest table scraps, just to make an example of them, to set the standard, to keep the constitutional vultures in check. But damn, the poor guy's always dashing off to some reeking hellhole in Kentucky, Louisiana or rural Texas to fight for a fundamental basic human right you thought was pretty solid, but which is more slippery than it should be, amidst a sea of spit, intolerance and twangy country music. He almost always misses Vatican Pedophilia Scandal O' The Week (a slideshow, Benjamin Blower as soundtrack). Of course, we all have our issues. One of the most poignant moments in the meeting comes when we all share a personal tale of just how tough it can be out there, how completely exhausting it is trying to inform/pollute so many human souls with notions of blissful dirty sex, unchecked joy and self-determined happiness. It ain't easy extolling the idea that God is not what you think she is, that you have far more spiritual freedom than they tell you, that gender is fluid and love is a liquid pulse, and you are already hot like wicked sunshine with divine perfection. Not to mention how Jesus was just a weird mystic anarchist who hung out with hookers and freaks and would have completely rejected/abhorred every megachurch, pastor, pope and homophobic GOP doctrine in world history. Turns out many people hate hearing that stuff. Just can't handle it. Personally, I can't count how many times I've been told I'm going straight to hell for whatever reason: championing gay rights, sex-positivism, proposing free Hitachis for every 14-year-old girl, that sort of thing. A hundred? A thousand? So far, I feel pretty good. Nothing's fallen off. Nothing on fire. At least, not in a bad way. We'll just have to see. Speaking of the kids, we all take turns with the tutoring. Every couple weeks I spend a solid day with a few dozen or so, training them in the Beautiful Dark Ways, filling their sweet, innocent heads with simply luscious lies suggesting that, say, homosexuals are very nice people, gender and sexuality are far from fixed in nature, history is mostly spin and PR, Catholic schoolgirls are shockingly/delightfully well versed in doing quite nasty things with their mouths. And they soak it up! Kids these days are so bright and willing, eager and wise! I always leave upbeat and encouraged about the future. Of, you know, evil. Did I mention the orgies? How could I fail to mention the orgies? Every Sunday night, it's like a meth-fest gay nightclub in Rio meets a Roman whorehouse in Mickey Mouse's pagan daydream on the dark side of the Dog Star, but with a lots more Ecstasy, single-malt scotch and leather. But I'll hold off on the details; some things are better left to the imagination. After all, as you surely know, nearly all the desperate or otherwise hateful reaction I/we always get from conservatives and fundamentalists alike invariably stems from, of course, insane jealousy. It comes with the territory, you know? Hey, it ain't easy being part of a great and sticky conspiracy to defile/illumine the very soul of humanity. But sweet Jesus with a Burning Man ticket and a well-thumbed copy of the Bhagavad Gita, it sure is fun. ---------------------------------------------------------------- Join Mark on Facebook and Twitter. Email him here. He never reads the comments. Mark Morford's column appears every Wednesday and Friday on SFGate. To join the notification list for this column, click here and remove one article of clothing. To get on Mark's personal mailing list (appearances, books, blogs, yoga and more), click here and remove three more. His website is right here. http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/g/a/2010/03/26/notes032610.DTL |
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