How do I know when I am getting older?

~when I need a magnifying glass to read the newsprint and food labels,

~when I realize store clerks have no idea how to make change unless the register tells them and even then they can get it wrong,

~when I remember that Boone's Farm Apple Wine used to be the rage,

~when all kids look alike to me,

~when I go to say something and promptly forget what it was,

~when I cant find my keys cuz they spent the night in the lock,

~when I cruise the newspaper for the early bird specials,

~when colonoscopies and cholesterol pills are dinner conversation,

~when you go to matinee movies cuz you don't drive at night,

~when you ask for the senior discount everywhere,

~when the folks at the pharmacy know me by name :|

~ when the tv and movie stars of my generation are advertising boniva and activia.

~ when designated driver refers to the person who isnt bothered by the glare of headlights at night

~btw, cigs here are $8.50 a pack