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A Funny Letter
Below you will find the script to write your letter. A friend had this on her FaceBook page and we started laughing and couldn't stop. It was so funny...or maybe we need sleep. You can decide for yourself.
Dear Stacy, I don't really know how to tell you this, but your nostrils are insulting. I think I realized it that night you picked your nose at the mental hospital and I saw you sit on my corned beef hash. I'm sure you're high enough to understand how awful you are. I'm returning the pictures from Vegas to you, but I'll keep your Mom as a memory. You should also know that I love your sweet, sweet ass and our friendship is ruined. Best of luck on the sex change, laruss You can play along if you like, or not, it's up to you. I laughed. .................................................. .................................................. ...... Dear (someone you recently talked to), I don't really know how to tell you this, but (1). I think I realized it when (2)(3) and I saw you (4)(5). I'm sure you're (6) enough to understand (7). I'm returning (8) to you, but I'll keep (9) as a memory. You should also know that I (10) and (11). (12), (Your name) 1) What's the color of your shirt? Blue - I'm in love with your cat Red - Our affair is over White - I’m joining the Convent Black -Our romance is over Green- Our socks don't match Grey - You're a leprechaun Yellow - I'm selling myself for candy Pink - Your nostrils are insulting Brown - Purple hedgehogs want to destroy you No shirt -The mafia wants you Other -I dislike your eyelashes 2) Which is your birth month? January - That night you picked your nose February -When I quoted Forest Gump March - When your dwarf bit me April - When I tripped on peanut butter May - When I finally changed my underwear June - When you put cuffs on me July – When I saw the purple monkey August - When you smacked my ass September - Last year when you peed your pants October - When we skinny dipped in the bathtub November - When your dog humped my leg December - When I threw up in your sock drawer 3) Which food do you prefer? Tacos - In your apartment Chicken- In your car Pasta - Outside of your office Hamburgers - Under the bus Salad – As you were eating Kraft Dinner Lasagna - In your closet Kebab - With Jean Chrétien Seafood - In a clown suit Sandwiches - At the Elton John concert Pizza - At the mental hospital Hot dog - Under a street light Annat- With George Bush and Stephen Harper 4) What's the color of your socks? Yellow - Ignore Red - Put whipped cream on Black - Hit on Blue - Knock out Purple - Pour syrup on White - Carve your initials into Grey - Pull the clothes off Brown - bite off Orange - Castrate Pink - Pull the pants off of Barefoot - Sit on Other - Drive over 5) What's the color of your underwear? Black - My boyfriend White - My father Grey – The Catholic Priest Brown – The Montreal Canadian’s goalie Purple - My corned beef hash Red – My knee caps Blue - My salt-beef bucket Yellow - My illegitimate child in Ghana Orange - My Blink 182 cd Pink – Your ‘My Little Pony’ collection Other --The elephant in the corner 6) What do you prefer to watch on TV? One Tree Hill - Senile Heroes- Frostbitten Lost - High Simpsons- Cowardly The news - Scarred American Idol - Masochistic Family Guy - Open Top Model - Middle-class Annat -shamed 7) Your mood right now? Happy - How awful you are Sad - How boring you are Bored - That I get turned on only by garbage men Angry - That your smell makes me vomit Depressed – That we’re related Excited - That I may pee my pants Nervous - The middle-east is planning their revenge on you Worried - That your Ford sucks Apathetic - That you need a sex-change Silly - That I'm allergic to your earlobes Cuddly - That Santa doesn't exist Ashamed - That there is no solution to you being a dumb kid Other - That your driving sucks 8) What's the color of your walls in your bedroom? White - Your toe ring Yellow - Your love letters to me Red - The pictures from Vegas Black - Your pet rock Blue - The couch cushions Green - Your car Orange - your false teeth Brown - Your nose hair clippers Grey - Our matching snoopy underwear Purple - Your old New Kids on the Block blanket Pink - The cut toenails Other - Your Hannah Montana underwear 9) The first letter of your last name? A/B - Your left ear C/D - Your photo with the mustache drawn on it E/F - Your neighbors dog G/H - Your glass eye I/J - My virginity K/L - The results of that blood-sample M/N - The oil tank from your car O/P - My common sense Q/R - Your mom S/T -your collection of butterflies U/V - Your criminal record W/X – Your sucide note Y/Z - Your credit cards 10) The last letter in your first name? A/B - Love your sweet, sweet ass C/D - Always will remember the pep talks E/F -Never will forget that night G/H – Will not tell the authorites that you stole the whale from the backyard. I/J – Mocked you behind your back constantly K/L - Hate your cooking M/N - Told in my confession today about the moose poaching O/P - Told my psychiatrist about the bruises Q/R - Get sick when I think of your feet S/T - Always wanted to break your legs U/V - Will try to forget that you broke my heart W/X - Haven’t showered in a month Y/Z – am better off without you 11) What do you prefer to drink? Wine- Our friendship is ruined Soft drink – I’m off to lead a new life as a lemon Soda – I will haunt you when I’m reincarnated as an Eskimo Milk - The apartment building is on fire Water – I'm scratching my butt as you read this Cider– I have a passionate interest for mice Juice – You ruined my attempts at another world war. Snapple/Vitamin water – You should get that embarrassing rash checked out Hot chocolate – Your Cucumber-fetishism is weird Whiskey - I love Oprah Winfrey Beer – Thanks for the Cocaine Other – you should stop picking your nose 12) To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation? Thailand – Warm tingly sensations Australia - Greetings to your frog Leonard France - Love always Spain - With tears of sadness China – You make me sick Germany – Please don’t hurt me Japan - Go milk a cow Greece - Your everlasting enemy USA - Best of luck on the sex change Egypt – Kiss my butt England - Go drown yourself |
Dear Jess,
I don't really know how to tell you this, but our romance is over. I think I realized it when I quoted Forest Gump in your closet and I saw you carve your initials into the Catholic Priest. I'm sure you're frostbitten enough to understand that your driving sucks. I'm returning your toe ring to you, but I'll keep your collection of butterflies as a memory. You should also know that I love your sweet, sweet ass and your Cucumber-fetishism is weird. Kisss MY Butt, T. hehehe love it |
Dear Kelley :
I don't really know how to tell you this, but our romance is over. I think I realized it when I finally changed my underwear in your apartment. And I saw you carve your initials into the elephant in the corner. Im sure your senile enough to understand Im returning your toe ring to you but I will keep your photo with the mustache drawn on it as a memory. You should also know that I told in my confession today about the moose poaching and our friendship is ruined. With Tears Of Sadness BBM |
fun!!!
Dear Bully,
I don't really know how to tell you this, but i'm in love with your cat. I think I realized it when your dog humped my leg under the bus and I saw you sit on your "my little pony collection". I'm sure you're Masochistic enough to understand that Santa doesn't exist. I'm returning the pictures from Vegas to you, but I'll keep the oil tank from your car as a memory. You should also know that I mocked you behind your back constantly and you should stop picking your nose. Love always, Belle |
Dear Rhon,
I don't really know how to tell you this, but The mafia wants you I think I realized it when When we skinny dipped in the bathtub Outside of your office and I saw you Sit on The elephant in the corner. I'm sure you're Cowardly enough to understand That Santa doesn't exist. I'm returning Your nose hair clippers to you, but I'll keep your collection of butterflies as a memory. You should also know that I Never will forget that night and Your Cucumber-fetishism is weird. Go drown yourself, Sherrie |
Dear P,
I don't really know how to tell you this, but I'm joining a convent. I think I realized it when we skinny dipped in the bathtub as you were eating Kraft dinner and I saw you sit on your my little pony collection. I'm sure you're middle class enough to understand how boring you are. I'm returning our matching Snoopy underwear to you, but I'll keep the results of that blood sample as a memory. You should also know that I will never forget that night and you should stop picking your nose. Greetings to your frog Leonard, Nomad ----------------------- RULES: Dear (someone you recently talked to), I don't really know how to tell you this, but (1). I think I realized it when (2)(3) and I saw you (4)(5). I'm sure you're (6) enough to understand (7). I'm returning (8) to you, but I'll keep (9) as a memory. You should also know that I (10) and (11). (12), (Your name) 1) What's the color of your shirt? Blue - I'm in love with your cat Red - Our affair is over White - I’m joining the Convent Black -Our romance is over Green- Our socks don't match Grey - You're a leprechaun Yellow - I'm selling myself for candy Pink - Your nostrils are insulting Brown - Purple hedgehogs want to destroy you No shirt -The mafia wants you Other -I dislike your eyelashes 2) Which is your birth month? January - That night you picked your nose February -When I quoted Forest Gump March - When your dwarf bit me April - When I tripped on peanut butter May - When I finally changed my underwear June - When you put cuffs on me July – When I saw the purple monkey August - When you smacked my ass September - Last year when you peed your pants October - When we skinny dipped in the bathtub November - When your dog humped my leg December - When I threw up in your sock drawer 3) Which food do you prefer? Tacos - In your apartment Chicken- In your car Pasta - Outside of your office Hamburgers - Under the bus Salad – As you were eating Kraft Dinner Lasagna - In your closet Kebab - With Jean Chrétien Seafood - In a clown suit Sandwiches - At the Elton John concert Pizza - At the mental hospital Hot dog - Under a street light Annat- With George Bush and Stephen Harper 4) What's the color of your socks? Yellow - Ignore Red - Put whipped cream on Black - Hit on Blue - Knock out Purple - Pour syrup on White - Carve your initials into Grey - Pull the clothes off Brown - bite off Orange - Castrate Pink - Pull the pants off of Barefoot - Sit on Other - Drive over 5) What's the color of your underwear? Black - My boyfriend White - My father Grey – The Catholic Priest Brown – The Montreal Canadian’s goalie Purple - My corned beef hash Red – My knee caps Blue - My salt-beef bucket Yellow - My illegitimate child in Ghana Orange - My Blink 182 cd Pink – Your ‘My Little Pony’ collection Other --The elephant in the corner 6) What do you prefer to watch on TV? One Tree Hill - Senile Heroes- Frostbitten Lost - High Simpsons- Cowardly The news - Scarred American Idol - Masochistic Family Guy - Open Top Model - Middle-class Annat -shamed 7) Your mood right now? Happy - How awful you are Sad - How boring you are Bored - That I get turned on only by garbage men Angry - That your smell makes me vomit Depressed – That we’re related Excited - That I may pee my pants Nervous - The middle-east is planning their revenge on you Worried - That your Ford sucks Apathetic - That you need a sex-change Silly - That I'm allergic to your earlobes Cuddly - That Santa doesn't exist Ashamed - That there is no solution to you being a dumb kid Other - That your driving sucks 8) What's the color of your walls in your bedroom? White - Your toe ring Yellow - Your love letters to me Red - The pictures from Vegas Black - Your pet rock Blue - The couch cushions Green - Your car Orange - your false teeth Brown - Your nose hair clippers Grey - Our matching snoopy underwear Purple - Your old New Kids on the Block blanket Pink - The cut toenails Other - Your Hannah Montana underwear 9) The first letter of your last name? A/B - Your left ear C/D - Your photo with the mustache drawn on it E/F - Your neighbors dog G/H - Your glass eye I/J - My virginity K/L - The results of that blood-sample M/N - The oil tank from your car O/P - My common sense Q/R - Your mom S/T -your collection of butterflies U/V - Your criminal record W/X – Your sucide note Y/Z - Your credit cards 10) The last letter in your first name? A/B - Love your sweet, sweet ass C/D - Always will remember the pep talks E/F -Never will forget that night G/H – Will not tell the authorites that you stole the whale from the backyard. I/J – Mocked you behind your back constantly K/L - Hate your cooking M/N - Told in my confession today about the moose poaching O/P - Told my psychiatrist about the bruises Q/R - Get sick when I think of your feet S/T - Always wanted to break your legs U/V - Will try to forget that you broke my heart W/X - Haven’t showered in a month Y/Z – am better off without you 11) What do you prefer to drink? Wine- Our friendship is ruined Soft drink – I’m off to lead a new life as a lemon Soda – I will haunt you when I’m reincarnated as an Eskimo Milk - The apartment building is on fire Water – I'm scratching my butt as you read this Cider– I have a passionate interest for mice Juice – You ruined my attempts at another world war. Snapple/Vitamin water – You should get that embarrassing rash checked out Hot chocolate – Your Cucumber-fetishism is weird Whiskey - I love Oprah Winfrey Beer – Thanks for the Cocaine Other – you should stop picking your nose 12) To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation? Thailand – Warm tingly sensations Australia - Greetings to your frog Leonard France - Love always Spain - With tears of sadness China – You make me sick Germany – Please don’t hurt me Japan - Go milk a cow Greece - Your everlasting enemy USA - Best of luck on the sex change Egypt – Kiss my butt England - Go drown yourself[/QUOTE] |
Dear Bard,
I don't really know how to tell you this, but I dislike your eyelashes. I think I realized it when when you put cuffs on me at the mental hospital and I saw you hit on my boyfriend. I'm sure you're open enough to understand that I may pee my pants. I'm returning your toe ring to you, but I'll keep my virginity as a memory. You should also know that I always will remember the pep talks and our friendship is ruined. Go drown yourself, desd |
Mom is coming to dinner tonight, I HAVE to read this to her LOL
Dear Mom,
I don't really know how to tell you this, but the Mafia wants you. I think I realized it when I saw the purple monkey in your car and I saw you sit on my Father. I'm sure you're scarred enough to understand that Santa doesn't exist. I'm returning your Hannah Montana underwear to you, but I'll keep my virginity as a memory. You should also know that I mocked you behind your back constantly and I'm scratching my butt as you read this. Kiss my butt, Jewel |
Dear Spritz,
I don't really know how to tell you this, but you're a leprechaun. I think I realized it when when your dwarf bit me in your closet and I saw you hit on my salt-beef bucket. I'm sure you're open enough to understand that I'm alergic to your earlobes. I'm returning your toe ring to you, but I'll keep your glass eye as a memory. You should also know that I never will forget that night and I will haunt you when I’m reincarnated as an Eskimo. Greetings to your frog Leonard, Stoney LOL this was cute... and fun. :) |
Dear Lisa,
I don't really know how to tell you this, but I dislike your eyelashes. I think I realized it when we skinny dipped in the bathtub at the mental hospital and I saw you knock out my father. I'm sure you're open enough to understand that your driving sucks. I'm returning the couch cushions to you, but I'll keep my virginity as a memory. You should also know that I love your sweet, sweet ass and i'm off to lead a new life as a lemon. Greetings to your frog Leonard, -Scorp- ----------------------- RULES: Dear (someone you recently talked to), I don't really know how to tell you this, but (1). I think I realized it when (2)(3) and I saw you (4)(5). I'm sure you're (6) enough to understand (7). I'm returning (8) to you, but I'll keep (9) as a memory. You should also know that I (10) and (11). (12), (Your name) 1) What's the color of your shirt? Blue - I'm in love with your cat Red - Our affair is over White - I’m joining the Convent Black -Our romance is over Green- Our socks don't match Grey - You're a leprechaun Yellow - I'm selling myself for candy Pink - Your nostrils are insulting Brown - Purple hedgehogs want to destroy you No shirt -The mafia wants you Other -I dislike your eyelashes 2) Which is your birth month? January - That night you picked your nose February -When I quoted Forest Gump March - When your dwarf bit me April - When I tripped on peanut butter May - When I finally changed my underwear June - When you put cuffs on me July – When I saw the purple monkey August - When you smacked my ass September - Last year when you peed your pants October - When we skinny dipped in the bathtub November - When your dog humped my leg December - When I threw up in your sock drawer 3) Which food do you prefer? Tacos - In your apartment Chicken- In your car Pasta - Outside of your office Hamburgers - Under the bus Salad – As you were eating Kraft Dinner Lasagna - In your closet Kebab - With Jean Chrétien Seafood - In a clown suit Sandwiches - At the Elton John concert Pizza - At the mental hospital Hot dog - Under a street light Annat- With George Bush and Stephen Harper 4) What's the color of your socks? Yellow - Ignore Red - Put whipped cream on Black - Hit on Blue - Knock out Purple - Pour syrup on White - Carve your initials into Grey - Pull the clothes off Brown - bite off Orange - Castrate Pink - Pull the pants off of Barefoot - Sit on Other - Drive over 5) What's the color of your underwear? Black - My boyfriend White - My father Grey – The Catholic Priest Brown – The Montreal Canadian’s goalie Purple - My corned beef hash Red – My knee caps Blue - My salt-beef bucket Yellow - My illegitimate child in Ghana Orange - My Blink 182 cd Pink – Your ‘My Little Pony’ collection Other --The elephant in the corner 6) What do you prefer to watch on TV? One Tree Hill - Senile Heroes- Frostbitten Lost - High Simpsons- Cowardly The news - Scarred American Idol - Masochistic Family Guy - Open Top Model - Middle-class Annat -shamed 7) Your mood right now? Happy - How awful you are Sad - How boring you are Bored - That I get turned on only by garbage men Angry - That your smell makes me vomit Depressed – That we’re related Excited - That I may pee my pants Nervous - The middle-east is planning their revenge on you Worried - That your Ford sucks Apathetic - That you need a sex-change Silly - That I'm allergic to your earlobes Cuddly - That Santa doesn't exist Ashamed - That there is no solution to you being a dumb kid Other - That your driving sucks 8) What's the color of your walls in your bedroom? White - Your toe ring Yellow - Your love letters to me Red - The pictures from Vegas Black - Your pet rock Blue - The couch cushions Green - Your car Orange - your false teeth Brown - Your nose hair clippers Grey - Our matching snoopy underwear Purple - Your old New Kids on the Block blanket Pink - The cut toenails Other - Your Hannah Montana underwear 9) The first letter of your last name? A/B - Your left ear C/D - Your photo with the mustache drawn on it E/F - Your neighbors dog G/H - Your glass eye I/J - My virginity K/L - The results of that blood-sample M/N - The oil tank from your car O/P - My common sense Q/R - Your mom S/T -your collection of butterflies U/V - Your criminal record W/X – Your sucide note Y/Z - Your credit cards 10) The last letter in your first name? A/B - Love your sweet, sweet ass C/D - Always will remember the pep talks E/F -Never will forget that night G/H – Will not tell the authorites that you stole the whale from the backyard. I/J – Mocked you behind your back constantly K/L - Hate your cooking M/N - Told in my confession today about the moose poaching O/P - Told my psychiatrist about the bruises Q/R - Get sick when I think of your feet S/T - Always wanted to break your legs U/V - Will try to forget that you broke my heart W/X - Haven’t showered in a month Y/Z – am better off without you 11) What do you prefer to drink? Wine- Our friendship is ruined Soft drink – I’m off to lead a new life as a lemon Soda – I will haunt you when I’m reincarnated as an Eskimo Milk - The apartment building is on fire Water – I'm scratching my butt as you read this Cider– I have a passionate interest for mice Juice – You ruined my attempts at another world war. Snapple/Vitamin water – You should get that embarrassing rash checked out Hot chocolate – Your Cucumber-fetishism is weird Whiskey - I love Oprah Winfrey Beer – Thanks for the Cocaine Other – you should stop picking your nose 12) To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation? Thailand – Warm tingly sensations Australia - Greetings to your frog Leonard France - Love always Spain - With tears of sadness China – You make me sick Germany – Please don’t hurt me Japan - Go milk a cow Greece - Your everlasting enemy USA - Best of luck on the sex change Egypt – Kiss my butt England - Go drown yourself[/QUOTE][/QUOTE] |
Dear Sara,
I don't really know how to tell you this, but our romance is over. I think I realized it when your dwarf bit me in your closet and I saw you knock out my father. I'm sure you're masochistic enough to understand how aweful you are. I'm returning your toe ring to you, but I'll keep your photo with the moustache drawn on it as a memory. You should also know that I will not tell the authorities that you stole the whale from the backyard and I'm off to lead a new life as a lemon. Love Always, Leigh |
Dear Janey,
I don't really know how to tell you this, but purple hedgehogs want to destroy you. I think I realized it when you put cuffs on me in a clownsuit and I saw you carve your initials into my father. I'm sure you're high enough to understand that I get turned on only by garbage men. I'm returning your Hannah Montana underwear to you, but I'll keep my common sense as a memory. You should also know that I get sick when I think of your feet and I'm scratching my butt as you read this. Kiss my butt, Rhonda HAHAHA .................................................. .................................................. ...... |
Dear N,
I don't really know how to tell you this, but I'm in love with your cat. I think I realized it that night you picked your nose with Jean Chrétien and I saw you hit on my illegitimate child in Ghana. I'm sure you're frostbitten enough to understand that your Ford sucks. I'm returning your nose hair clippers to you, but I'll keep your mom as a memory. You should also know that I love your sweet, sweet ass and our friendship is ruined. Best of luck on the sex change, laruss |
Dear Sandy,
I don't really know how to tell you this, but hedgehogs want to destroy you. I think I realized it when I saw the purple monkey in a clown suit and I saw you sit on my illegitimate child in Ghana. I'm sure you're scarred (scared?) enough to understand how awful you are. I'm returning your Hannah Montana underwear to you, but I'll keep the oil tank from your car as a memory. You should also know that I love your sweet, sweet ass and you ruined my attempts at another world war. With tears of sadness, Orema .................................................. .................................................. ...... Dear (someone you recently talked to), I don't really know how to tell you this, but (1). I think I realized it when (2)(3) and I saw you (4)(5). I'm sure you're (6) enough to understand (7). I'm returning (8) to you, but I'll keep (9) as a memory. You should also know that I (10) and (11). (12), (Your name) 1) What's the color of your shirt? Blue - I'm in love with your cat Red - Our affair is over White - I’m joining the Convent Black -Our romance is over Green- Our socks don't match Grey - You're a leprechaun Yellow - I'm selling myself for candy Pink - Your nostrils are insulting Brown - Purple hedgehogs want to destroy you No shirt -The mafia wants you Other -I dislike your eyelashes 2) Which is your birth month? January - That night you picked your nose February -When I quoted Forest Gump March - When your dwarf bit me April - When I tripped on peanut butter May - When I finally changed my underwear June - When you put cuffs on me July – When I saw the purple monkey August - When you smacked my ass September - Last year when you peed your pants October - When we skinny dipped in the bathtub November - When your dog humped my leg December - When I threw up in your sock drawer 3) Which food do you prefer? Tacos - In your apartment Chicken- In your car Pasta - Outside of your office Hamburgers - Under the bus Salad – As you were eating Kraft Dinner Lasagna - In your closet Kebab - With Jean Chrétien Seafood - In a clown suit Sandwiches - At the Elton John concert Pizza - At the mental hospital Hot dog - Under a street light Annat- With George Bush and Stephen Harper 4) What's the color of your socks? Yellow - Ignore Red - Put whipped cream on Black - Hit on Blue - Knock out Purple - Pour syrup on White - Carve your initials into Grey - Pull the clothes off Brown - bite off Orange - Castrate Pink - Pull the pants off of Barefoot - Sit on Other - Drive over 5) What's the color of your underwear? Black - My boyfriend White - My father Grey – The Catholic Priest Brown – The Montreal Canadian’s goalie Purple - My corned beef hash Red – My knee caps Blue - My salt-beef bucket Yellow - My illegitimate child in Ghana Orange - My Blink 182 cd Pink – Your ‘My Little Pony’ collection Other --The elephant in the corner 6) What do you prefer to watch on TV? One Tree Hill - Senile Heroes- Frostbitten Lost - High Simpsons- Cowardly The news - Scarred American Idol - Masochistic Family Guy - Open Top Model - Middle-class Annat -shamed 7) Your mood right now? Happy - How awful you are Sad - How boring you are Bored - That I get turned on only by garbage men Angry - That your smell makes me vomit Depressed – That we’re related Excited - That I may pee my pants Nervous - The middle-east is planning their revenge on you Worried - That your Ford sucks Apathetic - That you need a sex-change Silly - That I'm allergic to your earlobes Cuddly - That Santa doesn't exist Ashamed - That there is no solution to you being a dumb kid Other - That your driving sucks 8) What's the color of your walls in your bedroom? White - Your toe ring Yellow - Your love letters to me Red - The pictures from Vegas Black - Your pet rock Blue - The couch cushions Green - Your car Orange - your false teeth Brown - Your nose hair clippers Grey - Our matching snoopy underwear Purple - Your old New Kids on the Block blanket Pink - The cut toenails Other - Your Hannah Montana underwear 9) The first letter of your last name? A/B - Your left ear C/D - Your photo with the mustache drawn on it E/F - Your neighbors dog G/H - Your glass eye I/J - My virginity K/L - The results of that blood-sample M/N - The oil tank from your car O/P - My common sense Q/R - Your mom S/T -your collection of butterflies U/V - Your criminal record W/X – Your sucide note Y/Z - Your credit cards 10) The last letter in your first name? A/B - Love your sweet, sweet ass C/D - Always will remember the pep talks E/F -Never will forget that night G/H – Will not tell the authorites that you stole the whale from the backyard. I/J – Mocked you behind your back constantly K/L - Hate your cooking M/N - Told in my confession today about the moose poaching O/P - Told my psychiatrist about the bruises Q/R - Get sick when I think of your feet S/T - Always wanted to break your legs U/V - Will try to forget that you broke my heart W/X - Haven’t showered in a month Y/Z – am better off without you 11) What do you prefer to drink? Wine- Our friendship is ruined Soft drink – I’m off to lead a new life as a lemon Soda – I will haunt you when I’m reincarnated as an Eskimo Milk - The apartment building is on fire Water – I'm scratching my butt as you read this Cider– I have a passionate interest for mice Juice – You ruined my attempts at another world war. Snapple/Vitamin water – You should get that embarrassing rash checked out Hot chocolate – Your Cucumber-fetishism is weird Whiskey - I love Oprah Winfrey Beer – Thanks for the Cocaine Other – you should stop picking your nose 12) To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation? Thailand – Warm tingly sensations Australia - Greetings to your frog Leonard France - Love always Spain - With tears of sadness China – You make me sick Germany – Please don’t hurt me Japan - Go milk a cow Greece - Your everlasting enemy USA - Best of luck on the sex change Egypt – Kiss my butt England - Go drown yourself[/QUOTE] |
Dear Jason,
I don't really know how to tell you this, but I dislike your eyelashes. I think I realized it when I finally changed my underwear in a clown suit and I saw you sit on your ‘My Little Pony’ collection. I'm sure you're cowardly enough to understand that I get turned on only by garbage men. I'm returning your nose hair clippers to you, but I'll keep your left ear as a memory. You should also know that I always wanted to break your legs and you should stop picking your nose. Greetings to your frog Leonard, Gemme |
Dear C,
I don't really know how to tell you this, but I dislike your eyelashes. I think I realized it when I tripped on peanut butter in a clown suit and I saw you drive over the elephant in the corner. I'm sure you're open enough to understand that I may pee my pants. I'm returning your Hannah Montana underwear to you, but I'll keep the results of that blood sample as a memory. You should also know that I will not tell the authorites that you stole the whale from the backyard and you ruined my attempts at another world war. Greetings to your frog Leonard, Degs |
Bump BUMP......looks fun! I'll post when I have the time!
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