Calling all Adoptees!
 

Adopted?

Just a thread to discuss the ups and downs of adoption or advice maybe ranting.

I would love to post a reply but at this hour I cant think straight...did I say the S word...my bad, sorry. Later my friend.

hey jd! very nice thread...and i would like to reply....

my story is not about a traditional adoption...but it is an adoption none the less...as some know i lost my biological father at the age of 5 it was very violent and very traumatic leaving me with a void that i still feel to this day...so with 3 children ages 5 and under my mother remarried a man over 10 years her senior...he adopted all three of us and as a couple they had another baby (my deaf sis)....we were raised in a lovely small town and my family was very respected..this marriage lasted 7 years...my mother divorced and remarried again...i left home at 19...and left the state....i am looking forward to reading others stories :)

Adopted
 

Thanks JDeere for starting this thread.

I am adopted, about 15 years ago my birth mother found me which was a good thing because now I have a medical history and a bloodline.

It was the typical story for that period, girl meets boy, girl gets pregnant, and the family sends her to another state to give birth and give up the baby. I was adopted right after being born.

I have met the entire birth family and honesty I am grateful that I lived a different life.

My life has been blessed and I am grateful for it.
The parents that raised me are my only parents and I am their child. I show the appropriate respect.

I was adopted at 11 days old. My mom was 14 (1969) and living on an island off the coast of BC and got pregnant in a bush whilst having sex with a 18 year old boy. they loved each other but they were not allowed to see each other. She hid the pregnancy until it was too late to get a legal abortion. She said she didn't even know what sex was when it happened. :s think that doesn't really sound too great....

Her parents packaged her up and sent her to a Bethany (a home for "wayward girls" aka pregnant, that was run by the Salvation Army) while telling everyone locally she went to visit some sick family member who needed care. She was pumped full of the fear of God when not religious. It fucked her up quite badly, the religious stuff and having to give me away. She had a mental break down at the birth. And never quite fully recovered. My birth mom has break downs occasionally, still.

My birth father is federal police - RCMP.

The adoption was illegal, though done through a legal agency. The family grandfathers (my grandfathers) knew each other and had pre arranged but no one knew about this. Not my mom nor my birth mom. They were both lied to. My birth mom was given three made up families to choose from and my mom was told a complete fabrication. The history form of the mother my mom was given was made up.

Women had zero agency back then.

Anyway, I was named and then given to a new family, who renamed me.

I am very lucky with my placement. My parents aren't perfect and made errors. My mom has problems with some emotional stuff. My brother is a psychopath - literally, not figuratively. But I had really incredible support from my dad and my mom (when she wasn't having a moment), I got an amazing education and was loved very deeply and fiercely by both my parents. I understand my dad more than his flesh and blood relatives. My mom and dad are very intellectual, athiest, open and tolerant.

I've met my birth mom, had two years of dialogue with my birthdad, and became best friends and constant companion with my half brother Zack (birth moms son) whom I fell madly in love with (in a platonic way. You know that deep, fierce love you feel for your bestest closest friend who understands everything? Well, Zack was my male twin in everything. He was my Yang and I was his Yin. We were each other's mirror. He was gay as well. Big ol muscle queen). He died in 2002. I knew and loved him for only six years but he made me feel like a salt and pepper shaker set with him. When I met him his eyes flew down my throat and landed in my stomach and I knew who he was.

So fucking wierd when you meet your blood and people look like you and have your mannerism or your laugh. And they have aspects of yourself. Mom and zack were nomads. Dad is a writer and SO much like me in personality. I am the spitting image of my mom. Zack and I looked like twins. When we met we even had the same haircut and bleached hair. We both listened to the same music, read the same books, both talented in writing and cooking and loved punk rock.

It blew my mind.

I no longer talk to my birth mom. She had another breakdown and she moved her trailer and never told me where. She was living in the desert in BC. Fuck knows where she is now. dad cut ties and moved when I said I wasn't going to be a secret forever, I don't like being a secret. Zack died.

I'm glad I have my family. They aren't perfect but considering how my birth family is, it's best I was homed responsibly.

There are issues that set me off, about being adopted. Not so much my life, but non-adoptees talking about kids. They say shit that just makes me mental at times.

Thanks for replies y'all! Glad to see some folks talking about this subject!

I will come back and post my feelings when I can actually put them into words and not get in trouble! LOL.

BUMP BUMP BUMP

Bumping this thread to see if more folks post, my brain is on overload right now but my story is long very long.

I found out at the age of ten, that my dad who had raisede from a baby wasn't my dad. It hurt to find this out, but he raised me like I was his daughter. At the age of 30, I found my biological dad. I talked to him for about nine years. Towards the end of our relationship, he would constantly say nasty things about my dad who raised me. Even thought my dad, Bobby, had never adopted me legally, to me he was my dad. It's been five years since I've had any contact with my biological dad and I always tell people that my dad is in heaven. I am very proud of my dad, Bobby, who went AWOL while serving in the Vietnam War. Thinking about this subject makes me tear up, just thinking about how my bio dad just walked out of my life and telling my mom, how he never wanted a daughter. A daughter, who graduated from college and is very caring. He can go burn in Hell where he belongs.

Finding all of this out at such an early age really hurt and I'm still dealing with abandonment issues and depression.

Thank you JD for starting this thread!


Zimmeh

I was adopted at 3 days old, I got very lucky! My adoptive parents had been looking to adopt for many years, the right baby came along and they took a chance and here I am.

I knew I was different when I was like 5 or so, I kept asking why don't I look like my siblngs, etc?I was given a book called "Why Was I Adopted" and then I understood. I was say 18 and I wanted to know who my biological parents were, so the search began, finally a PI came across some information and I found one of my half sisters and it took off from there. I have 7 other siblings from my biological mother, different fathers for most of us. We are still searching for my birth father, I am anxious to see if I have any other siblings and such, however I/we have had no luck with finding him.

Any of the adoptees on here watching the show on TLC called Long Lost Family?

I am watching it now, if yall watched it or know about it what do yall think about the show and would you go to those measures to find lost family?