The Booty Call.
 

I was weak. I caved, gave in, surrendered to temptation, and otherwise did that thing I swore I would not ever do again.

Answer the Booty Call.

It was late, I had some wine, and when my phone buzzed I knew that was her on the other end. Who else calls at 11:30 - then follows up with a text saying "Pick up, baby"?

Maybe it was the wine, maybe it was Friday, maybe I was just feeling frisky...but I took the call and against my better judgement, was no less than 10 minutes later in a cab headed to her place.

Funny thing is that I don't feel guilty. I got what I needed, gave her what she needed and left next morning without a lot of fuss or muss. I vowed not to do this again...but am actually glad I did. My belief is that avoiding this person - a total player, by the way - gave her all the power. Today, I feel like I took some of it back for myself.

That said, I don't think I'm going back there again. The spell is broken.

Next time maybe she can do the cab part.

I think booty calls are great. both people get what they need.

people.seem to think there is no "feeling" or connection involved but that's not true. I don't have sex with people I don't feel attracted to or momentarily connected to. its a shared connection for an evening and it can be friendly and mutually beneficial. no one is "using" you or you "using" them. that's like saying someone isn't enjoying themselves and one is "making" the other person be there by force, lies or coersion. last time I checked, the last person I had a booty call with had a good time and got what she needed sexually. so how were either one of us used and what on earth should either of us feel guilty about?

I'm actually pretty shocked things have gotten so conservative over the years. it used to be when I was younger, that friendly no strings sex was actually encouraged. I was encouraged to have sexual experiences with people and my friends to find out what I liked and wanted sexually.
that getting to know someone sexually was just as important as getting to know someone emotionally and intellectually before making a commitment. and if it didn't work out you parted without calling each other of being a player.

a player is a confidence trickster who uses promises of love for sex and lies about other involvements. not someone who is above board and doesn't make declarations of love or promises of Fidelity before you know each other well enough.

I like booty calls and have a great respect for them. I did have one here briefly for a few weeks. shed call late on sat and ask to come over. wed have a couple of beer in the kitchen and then head to bed, have a shag, sleep, I'd get up and putter around doing what I needed to do and make her breakfast when she got up and shed go home. ideal if you ask me.

I'd love another one. or even a weekender booty holiday for someone out of town who comes through now and again. I'd love that while I'm single.

I do find it odd that single people can't get their needs met in a friendly and above board way. wtf happened? it used to be perfectly acceptable. I find them rarer than hens teeth now. hello, I'd like to have friendly connected sex and include breakfast. if it goes well we can do the same thing again next week or every other week or every third week. you are a nice person who is horny, I'm a nice person who is horny. let's have nice person horny sex together.


why is this difficult now?

and yes, etiquette dictates for booty call, that if she call you and asked you to come over in a cab, she should have paid the fair home.

When I was younger, I had my fair share of booty calls, and yeah, it was very acceptable and maybe even expected that single people participated in them. It wasn't any big secret, and sometimes we'd find out a few of us were all "seeing" the same person, and I don't remember there being any jealousy or bad feelings about it. I remember getting into a relationship that lasted seven years and when it ended, I looked up one of my old "friends with benefits" and spent the night with her. It was like those seven years didn't happen.

I don't know the situation, maybe it's an ex, and those can be awkward, but I still see them as doable. Just make sure you communicate.

oof, recent exes... yeah. I wouldn't advise booty calls with them. I've wound up in very bad positions because of that.

Old exes? sure, why not. it's propper over and if there's still some physical attraction, you know it won't get complicated.


And some of my longest and closest long term relationships started with casual sex.

Details...
 

Thanks everyone for the feedback and advice...

What I didn't mention in my original post was that she and I...well, we have a history. I was more emotionally attached than she was during our time together and was burned by some callous actions...and yet I returned to the scene of the crime (haha). That complicates what should simply be a good time and 99% of why I was feeling the guilt previously.

Today, I'm so not feeling the guilt at all. Exactly the opposite - I'd forgotten what a proper slut I can be when so inspired. So, here's to more "nice person horny sex"...(a term I LOVE)

As for the trip home, I took the subway. A nice post-coital walk on a cool fall morning while sipping a strong coffee rounded things out well. She had me, but she's not keeping me.

Yeah I guess she had you. But it also sounds like you had her. And if the mood strikes, you could have her again. Enjoy.

that's a nice way of putting it!

Consensual booty calls are awesome.

I kinda love it when adults fuck like adults!

Power to the booty call. As long as consenting adults are honest about their intentions, what is there to feel bad about? No harm, no foul.

this thing called booty call, ... i can't. i get so easily attached. i take just as much mental as i do physical. more so mental.

(f)

I used to be really good at booty calls. Haha. Meaning, I would have no feelings hurt, have fun, and just go home. I am older now, have kids, (if I am ever single again) I am not sure I could actually deal with booty calls anymore. I have two extra hearts to think about now.

I didn't think I could when I was married. but now, being in the position of never getting any sex/sexual physical contact, when I did have the opportunity for someone I sexually clicked with but didn't really have enough in common with to want to be romantic with - she was *really* into footie [soccar] and her whole life was about it. she was funny and an enjoyable chat for 90 mintues, before the footie chat started up lol and she had a good dominant vibe in bed. She did what *she* liked to do and enjoyed that I completely got off without much effort (because she was doing what she wanted... so... I could reach my bonna 40 times over no matter what she was doing)
And to me that's what makes a good bootycall. good sex, not really enough in common to provide much interest beyond that. but enough to have a good, fun natter and a laugh.

I can't be romantically interested in someone who doesn't talk much or we run out of things to talk about or I'm not very interested in their favourite subjects. Some people like the strong silent type that stares into your eyes. I can do that for a few seconds here and there and enjoy it, but not really much after that. I kind of start wondering if there's something in my eye.

I need to spend quality time hanging out, talking, being emotionally intimate, not just phsyically for me to fall for someone. so if the friendship, time, talk and hanging out isn't there along with sex... I can't fall in love. I need all of it. it's easier for me now. because I'm no longer mistaking verbal proclamations for reality. or great physical chemistry for more than that. I know how to emotionally hang back pieces of myself while enjoying and connecting and being appreciative and friendly.

I don't open myself up to fall in love unless I can have sex, friendship, quality time together, laughter and open emotional sharing and talking about our lives. It just won't happen. Insterting tab A into slot B with a nice chat won't make me fall madly in love.

I do recall people thinking it would though... after all, touching me with your magic phallus/butch cock will make me want to follow you around the globe, pining for your babies. ... *eyeball roll*
and weirdly, those are the ones that call me a slut for not feeling that way....

For me...
 

I don't need to have love to have sex. Yes - it's way better when I care about the person I'm enjoying it with, but not always required.

In fact, sex can be pretty damn good when there isn't a strong emotional component. That moment in time when two people are in the same space of mind at the same time and just want to get laid. No one's trying to reconnect, or respond to the other's larger emotional needs...it's just plain lust.

When I was in college and "out" in every sense of the word - out of the house, out of the closet, out in a new city, out on my own - I thrived on booty calls and hook ups. There wasn't much left after school and two jobs, so the casual hook up was a great way to blow off a little steam. I waited tables a girl bar here in Philly, so meeting people wasn't a problem. Another benefit was learning to expand my taste in partners.

I'm still a believer in the idea that whatever happens between consenting adults is their business. I also think it's fun to give in to those base urges we all have...every once in a while. Two people have to be on the same page, though. My mistake in the past with my recent booty call was being too emotionally involved. That blows up the simple beauty of the booty call/hook up.

And a booty call should STAY a booty call. Honestly is definitely the best policy!

Is there a booty call list? ;)

Yes. See cara for the list. For some reason she put herself on there 3 times. I am not sure what that is about.