Originally Posted by Reader (Post 671568)

I don't think it will be especially helpful to respond in-depth to everyone's or anyone's reaction, in particular, to my post, except to say thanks to all for reading it. Of course, I had no idea that my little tale would generate such interest.

Sometimes, on BFP, I imagine that I am chatting with pals in a small cafe and yet somehow it evolves into something quite different; my post and I end up being inspected, dissected and soundly rejected (I do believe I have the end-line for a new poem---> "inspected, dissected and soundly rejected" ...but I digress ;-) , sometimes my post and I end up being inspected, dissected and soundly rejected by the same folks in multiple threads. I find this harmless, possible coincidence rather flattering at times and oddly amusing at others (truth be told) and not for what may seem to be the obvious reasons.



Sometimes we do have the opportunity to have conversations, chat with pals in a intimate situation be it over coffee, food, telephone, Reunion, visiting, etc. I have been part of conversations or just listened and we (people) do disect, inspect and sometimes reject the things we are having conversations about. This is how we learn, how we teach, how we discuss and yes dissect things that to YOU (general) may not be a big deal but to some of us it is therefore we learn from one another...

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The folks who do the inspecting, dissecting and rejecting often actually do not know what I mean or what I am referring to, and a misunderstanding can occur which happened recently in another thread. As in real life, I only clarify my statements to folks when they ask me to. Otherwise, I assume I am clearly understood. I usually take some care in what I post. If people misunderstand me I do not blame them, I blame my own lack of writing skill, for this is a forum where one communicates by writing (mostly), and it does take skill to discuss complex issues in such a one-dimensional, black and white, way. I believe the need for skill is the reason there are so many "fluff" and fun threads and those light threads have the most hits.


Sometimes the dissecting and rejecting is nothing personal against the person who posted, or we ourselves posted. We are a vast community with different opinions and life experiences. I am not surprised that in a Femme Zone a few femme's decided to talk about what their experiences were in regards to your scenario. I don't find anything wrong with it, it's women.Femmes. talking about what it feels like to them in a Zone made for them therefore thinking that they can safely talk about their experiences.

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Many people come here to socialize in a safe way and have an enjoyable time. They don't dare post anything that could cause them to gain the notice of those who might misunderstand them, even if they might need to vent or get support or wish to be educated.



Even those who speak more or dissect things come in here with the thought of being safe to be able to do so. I don't understand how you can say that others do not post because of some kind of vigilant pack waiting to jump or attack these people. Just because someone needs to vent or get support does not mean they get to do it in a way that has an ism attached to it.


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I'm sure there is tons of stuff we all could learn and share with each other, but I suspect, nah, I KNOW from talking with people offline, that folks are afraid to post things because they lack confidence in their writing/communication skills and they are concerned that there is a roving pack of Post Police (and I DO NOT MEAN ADMINS) who are anxious to filet them for what often amounts to their inability to effectively communicate using this awkward medium.


I am going to be honest and tell you that the above statement pisses me off, it is a tiring assigned label that gets placed on people who choose to speak up about things, talk about experiences, or say hey that isn't ok or hey that kinda shit makes me uncomfy and here is why..

That's not a pack of post police Reader, that is community members wanting to have hard discussions about things that may not make you feel warm inside your brithches but they are conversations that need to be had nonetheless. I find it ugly. mean and unfair that you have labeled those of us who do speak up, cause let me tell you it is a fucking pain in the ass to continuously have people label you as some kind of *pack* animal, police, gang just because you took the fun or lifted the veil of someone's post and pointed out what may or may not make others feel uncomfy.

Also the whole others tell me they won't post bullshit is tiring, old and frankly against The TOS, it's not up to you to be the shining knight in armor falling onto a sword for those to *scared* of the post police..



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All of this leads me to my reason for this post, my reason for replying in this way to all of the replies to my anecdotal post in this thread. I wish to clarify one thing because another post of mine was apparently misunderstood and, Can I Just Say, it left me rather perplexed.

In this thread I posted: <SNIP> "It's kind of fun, in a strange, character-stretching way, to be shot down in public. After all, a loaded gun, once properly disassembled, is rendered impotent. The same holds true for defeat."

For the record, what I was referring to above was a larger message to all of us: defeat, of any kind, public or private, can be taken apart and made harmless. Defeat can be temporary. There is always the option of outlasting defeat, no matter how big, no matter how small. In short, you can beat defeat.

Incidentally, I wasn't "defeated" or "shot down" in my attempt to "get something" in return, I was shot down in my attempt to have someone "take" something from me in the form of coffee.

This is a clear example of how it often is true that by doing service or "giving" service to others, we ourselves, in reality, are often the ones "receiving" the most from the act. I'm sure all of you fine folks who do social work or volunteer or help animal rescue or deposit spiders outside instead of killing them know just what I mean, eh?