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older femmes
I am an older femme - I am not trying to create issues but I have noticed we are not very welcome in certain quarters - where are the women and butches (I will not get intol the label game :) for older femmes :) )cougar like skate boarding is not a crime!!
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Welcome!!
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What quarters have you experienced this in? I'm no spring chicken and haven't experienced it here or anywhere else.. Or maybe I didn't notice, there are some folks who are into Older Femme younger _____ kinda relationships, fucks, trists, rolls in the hay, gatherings, in bars..... |
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nor have I.....all the sandboxes are welcoming...and they all play nicely!!
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Speaking for myself, it's about a femme's maturity, which has nothing to do with age. Not sure where you're feeling like you don't fit in but certainly, if people attempt to make you feel uncomfortable or unwelcome, it isn't your problem, it's theirs.
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Make that another who has not been subjected to ageism. I spend most of my time in the threads and very little in chat but have found both places very welcoming nonetheless. I agree with ButchEire...don't the let the actions of a few ruin your experience here.
Cheers, Scoobs |
As a femme who will turn 60 next month (Holy shit, batman!), I think for ME, any ageism I may have felt was probably self-inflicted. And projected. I have been scared, and self-conscious about my age, figuring that there would be no one out there who would want someone like ME. Bah!
I have spoken to a few butches on here, that may have started out "hot and heavy" and yeah, they may have cooled soon after we BOTH found the difference in ages. No problem, no foul, what we ended up with is a friendship. I *like* friends, don't know about anyone else. I have come to accept just what an amazing woman I AM, what a great wonderful hot catch I will be, and no one but ME can take that away from me. I have decided to guard that about me now. I know there are some young studs that may just not get what I could offer. Truth be told, I don't actually think I WANT to offer that to just anyone anymore. I want to offer my best to someone that can actually take it and appreciate it for what it is. Personally, I am talking to a woman right now, a butch that is going to be 48 next month. We talked about the age difference, long and hard. She has only ever dated women her age or younger, never someone older at all. She and I both had to decide if this is something that we could work with. We have decided to take a chance and continue getting to know each other. Great! I will tell you this.... she told me this morning when I spoke to her, that I was "scary hot".... I wasn't sure what that meant or if I should be offended and hurt... she said that she has never known a woman who has as much to offer, physically, emotionally, mentally, intellectually as I have shown in the time I have known her. She wants more... of ME, the almost-60 yr old woman! How cool is THAT???? You will find someone. We all will. I only know for ME that I had to find ME first before someone else could find me, and appreciate me. |
Pssst...Maturity is a sexy quality..smiles
And I have noticed most people on here value it highly. There has been a couple times I was degraded here..actually almost left. But much to my suprise..people stopped me. I really do not think this is about AGE honestly. I see it more as people acting imature due to seeing something in you they lack. Or that they want and are threatened. Pay it no mind..it goes away shortly...smiling Be proud of your age..You earned every second, every grey hair and every beautiful wriknle you have.! |
How older?
There seem to be a whole sexy set of Butches of all ages into older Femmes! :):hangloose: |
I'm fairly confident that there are more attributes that play into who we are attracted to, than age—its the whole package.
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I just had a lovely conversation with someone recently who had spent more than ten years in a relationship with a femme 20 years her senior. They had a lovely relationship. It can be just as successful as any relationship, whether there's age differences or not. It's not the numbers that count; it is the people.
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I'm ageist.
There. I said it. I've dated people much younger (18 years) than me. They were sexy, hot, and rocked my world. Did we have differences due to the age gap? Yes. Were they insurmountable? No. Did it bother me that I was a year older than his mother? Yes, absolutely. As the "scary hot" APG stated, I made more about the age difference than mr. younger butch (who is a member here). He never brought it up. I did all the time. In the end, age wasn't what caused us to part as lovers--it was another hangup on my side. We are still good friends (thank goodness). I am now involved with someone who is 3 years younger. For me, this works better. And it is simply my hangup with the age gap so I learned that about me. To the OP's question, about not being accepted in certain quarters, I am going to assume that's in your community? Check meetup.com. I know Austin's Lesbian meetup has an older group meetup as well as an under 30 meetup. |
Unless I am totally oblivious, and I can honestly say I am not. I have NEVER encountered any issues regarding my age. I am fifty. AARP won't let me forget it, as they send me a membership kit every single month. (I'm NOT gonna join, so quit sending em LOL) I personally like myself better at fifty than I did even when I was forty. I am more comfortable in my own skin. I know what I want. Where I have been and where I want to end up. I feel like I really came into who I am in the past few years. Everyone is different, but this is my experience.
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I love that this thread is in the troubleshooting section.:coffee:
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cant resist posting this
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I think a troubleshooting section for
relationship's is genius. not sure it would really help but I hear what your laying down. eh now my post's wont make sense but what else is new :| |
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